Have you ever taken the time to sit back and analyze what truly inspires you? We often get inspired by other’s actions or insight, but have you ever actually sat down and made a list of the things that make you happy, passionate, teary, just plain have emotion? I find that there are many in life that just live through others and don’t take the time to tap into the true inner passions of themselves. Then we never feel complete fulfilled and even get left feeling empty.
We all have differences and we need to be able to acknowledge them. Those are what makes us all unique and special. I don’t expect everyone to feel as I do about everything I talk and write about. In fact I love to hear other people’s true views when they disagree with me. Other people’s views may deepen my own or could very easily chance my perspective and I love that. Be passionate about what YOU want and desire in life. Stop letting other people define what is good for YOU. Be ok with other people not agreeing with your opinions but never be afraid to stand up for what you truly believe it.
Inspiration comes from so many facets of our lives. Some of us are creative, some analytical, others are very logical. We as people need to accept that about each other and not judge others for what they believe and find inspiration in. We are all made up of different DNA remember. Every molecule in our make up creates differences in us all.
This starts with our children I am seeing being a mother of two very gifted children in their own special way. Society tells us that we should strive to be the best but what exactly is the best really? Being the best in one’s field is great as long as you enjoy what it is that you are doing. Now if you are great at what you do but you don’t find Inspiration in doing it then are you truly the best at it? People do things at times just because that is what they have fallen into and have become good at. Does that mean they are passionate about it all the time? Do they get up every morning inspired to do what it is they do or do they hate it but do it because that is what everyone believes they “should” do to be a productive part of or society?
Does it scare anyone else that more people die from suicide than from homicide? This statistic really got me thinking. If people were able to do what they were truly passionate about and stopped living their lives for others and the way others believed their lives should be lived, would this statistic still be the same?
Take a moment after you read this post and truly sit down and think about 5 things that inspire you to get up every morning and write them down. Then think about 5 things you do in your live that make you sad that you have to do because society says doing it differently is not acceptable. Once you have these lists, ask yourself is there anything on your Inspiration List that can replace anything on your Negative List? Take charge of your future by acknowledging who you are inside and accept that person. We all have our passions…What are yours?
Do you know that person that know matter what they are doing they try to make you happy and please you? I am sure most people truly appreciate these people but have you ever thought about what it does to that person trying to be what makes everyone happy all the time? It takes a lot to take the time to get to know so many and find out what each person “needs” to be happy. These people tend to spread themselves thin over time trying to everything to everyone they care about.
The Pleaser wants those they care about to excel and grow at all times. They tend to give part of themselves without any requirement of a return. Their reward is to see the smile on their loved ones faces or to watch them achieve their goals, whatever those may be.
Do you ever consider they do things for you that are actually hurting them in some way? Do you wonder why they would do that?
They do it because they strive to make you happy and if you are happy then they must be happy. Right?!?!
These Pleasers can easily be taken advantage of and get hurt in the process of doing what they believe is right. They may even make moral decisions that they would normally never consider just because they want to make that person feel happiness or even pleasure for a moment. That moment can in return tear at The Pleasers moral fortitude and later haunt them.
You may ask yourself why would this person do something they normally wouldn’t do just to make another person happy? There is often no good answer. These personality types find gratitude in the instant gratification. This is actually very unhealthy and is not a way to live. If you are a Pleaser, open your eyes now and acknowledge this yourself. You can not be everything to everyone all the time. You need to learn that others need to be able to do things themselves and if you want you can help but you have to stop doing things because you feel you are obligated to please those around you or they won’t love you or care for you. Those who truly care about you are going to care whether you do for them or not.
Life is give and take. Learn to receive as much as you give. In the end you will appreciate life that much more. Please yourself and then Please others.
With the sad news of Robin Williams this week, I wanted to take this tragic opportunity to remind everyone that depression is real and it is not something to take lightly. More people die from suicide a year than homicide. Did you realize that? This is a silent killer that eats away at a person from the inside. There are always subtle signs but often those closest to the person tend to ignore or miss them.
Take a person like Robin Williams who makes people laugh for a living. Did anyone truly know the “real” Robin Williams? Did he ever show that person to anyone or did he always hide behind the amazing characters we saw on stage and film.
Often people battling with Depression, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and similar Illnesses are very artistic, entertaining, and creative. They will often not medicate for fear of losing the edge that makes them great at what they do so they end up self medicating and this can end in tragedy.
In the end suicide is an option that is contemplated because these people feel they have no other options. In their head at the moment the world doesn’t need them. We all see when it is too late how untrue that is. We all have a purpose on this earth.
Open your eyes to those around you, but also know that unless they want help you can’t force them to get help. Show them every day how much they mean to your world and hopefully be able to show them how having them in your life makes it complete.
Remind those around you that if times get tough there are support groups and options for them. Encourage them to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (US).
I have been in cyberspace for a few years now and I have seen some very interesting things in human behavior during that time. People tend to get behind the keyboard and become something opposite of who they are in the “Real” World. It is interesting to me that these people will portray themselves like something completely opposite of who they are and then when the time comes to actually meet them they get upset with you if you get upset that they are not as I say “advertised”.
Have you noticed that we escape to Cyberspace for virtual reality when we don’t want to accept reality? I have talked to a lot of people. Everyone has their different reasons for being online. I don’t judge, question, or expect anything more than for those who talk to me to just be what they are comfortable with. If you are there to escape from your reality that is fine. If you are there to be that persona you cannot seem to be in reality then I completely understand. The only thing I ever ask is that they are understanding enough to respect that those they talk to can be impacted by their actions.
I have talked to some that use fake pictures, old pictures, or won’t even show a picture at all. These people often either have low self-esteem or can’t for one reason or another show themselves online for fear of being noticed. I have mixed emotions about this because all they are doing is hiding from themselves and lying to others in return. If you have read some of my other posts you will know that I don’t judge and if there is a reason to be something you aren’t online at least make it something there is possibility of you becoming. I believe if you start living the life you are focused on maybe there is a chance you will get the strength through the persona. Use your persona to give you the courage to strive to be your very best and to boost your self-confidence in return.
Most seem to use cyberspace to escape from their reality. If you are unemployed, not physically what you perceive as perfect, married, or even older than you portray yourself, you may be using cyberspace to escape from the stressed of everyday life. Don’t lead people on to make yourself feel good though. Just remember just because you may feel better about yourself for the moment you could be playing with the other person’s emotions and you don’t even realize it. Accept who you are and embrace that, and work on your weaknesses and grow from them. :) If you can play the person online you can live the person in reality. You may not overcome certain things but the better you feel about yourself inside will in time show through on the outside. Love who you are for everything you are and those around you will as well.
This topic is close to my heart. I feel very strongly about the need for Security and Independence in one’s life. If you are always thinking you are not a good enough for those around you all you do in return is tear down the others in order to boost yourself and we all know that isn’t healthy. You have to dig deep inside you when you are criticizing other around you or controlling them by making them feel guilty for wanting things you may not.
I am often amazed by people who are insecure. You wouldn’t expect most of them to have anything to be insecure about. Some are very attractive, have great jobs, are very social, have great families, etc. what in the world would they have to be insecure about you may think. Insecurities cannot always be explained. We all see ourselves differently when we look in the mirror. It could be our pasts, our choices we have made that we aren’t happy about, our unexplored dreams lost, and many more things. We all have our wants and desires for ourselves that we let become insecurities at times. The key is to not allow those to impact us negatively. Take those insecurities and grow from them and learn about ourselves deeper. Never allow your insecurities to be an excuse to tear others down or control those around you so that you feel more in control. We all need our independence and self-identity. If you feel that it takes someone else or others to do this for you then you truly need to take step back and reassess yourself. By allowing this to impact those around you will only tear apart your relationships and in the end it could actually become a self-fulfilled prophecy. If you are accusing others of maybe cheating or wanting a life without you more, then in time if you continue to plant that seed when that other person finally has enough that prophecy will be fulfilled and you will very likely be left alone and you will try to blame that person when in reality you need to look at yourself and realize you pushed them to it.
Take time for you to find yourself and love yourself. Never have people in your life because you can’t live without them. You should have people in your life because they enhance your life and being around them just increases your happiness. When we make people our “everything” we end up putting way to much pressure on that person to be perfect and in time they will not feel they can ever really be what you expect. Be happy with who you are and always find your positives in your life, because very often things can be far worse than they are today and if you take a moment to analyze your situation you will realize that there are many positives to be thankful for. Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.
I think we all make a mistake when we focus too much on pleasing everyone we meet. Our focus should be on making ourselves happy and in the end we shouldn’t be trying to turn “Many” Heads but should truly focus on find the Right One. Never settle for second best. If it doesn’t feel Perfect then don’t waste your time or the other person’s. Be happy in your life and remember at the end of the day the “Right One” is out there. If you settle for the wrong one you will miss out.
Just a little VixTalk opinion of the day:
Do you ever wonder why people cheat? I have noticed in the past couple years that more people consider cheating than I ever realized. There are many reason why I believe people take the leap from fantasizing about being with another person to actually crossing the line and engaging in intimacy with another person other than their significant other. I will not justify the actually crossing of this line but I will only acknowledge that I can at time understand why someone would even consider it.
One primary reason I have heard from men is that it is against Human nature for a man to be monogamous. Men are made to spread to procreate I am told. They were never meant to be with only one woman. I am not sure I buy into this but I do understand that it is easy to get bored in a relationship if is allowed to smolder and not fanned to keep the fire burning.
Another reason I hear is the one I have spoken of in previous posts. There often becomes a time in a relationship that one partner or the other decides to withhold sex as punishment from their significant other. This happens with both sexes but I see women withholding much more often than men. I will admit there was a time in my life where I thought I understood this method, but all this does is deprive both parties. Sex is a great way to relieve stress and build intimacy between two people. During those times where you would think you might hold back should really be the time where you insist on it. It creates a bond, releases stress, and boosts the confidence of both parties.
Yet another reason I have notice is the loss of attraction for one another. This I firmly believe happens primarily because of a lack of communication between the two parties. If one person loses the spark for the other they need to be able to discuss this with the other so that they may work together to determine how they can rekindle that spark. If the person just keeps this to them self in fear of hurting the other’s feelings and they chose to just go out and find the spark elsewhere, in the end don’t they end up hurting them both?
If a relationship is going to last both partners need to be willing to work together to be each other’s fantasy. You both have your daily lives and have work and children possibly to manage but you have to also remember to take time for each other to communicate what is missing and what is also working in your intimacy. If one partner is in need for spice then role play is a great way to give them a taste of that without having to have them go out searching for it. You need to be each other’s fantasies in the bedroom. Men, this does not only go for your women. If you expect your woman to be your fantasy you need to take the time to find out exactly what it is she fantasizes about as well. Instead of searching outside your partnership, create the fantasy inside it and “cheat” with each other from time to time. Enjoy each other.