Just like anyone else my inner critic screams louder than anyone else’s at times. The one thing I have learned is to not always listen to it. I hear it of course, but I choose whether or not I am going to listen. At times our inner critics can hold us back because the unknown scares us, so it is there to try and protect us. There are parts of what is heard that may be true so hearing it can give us the opportunity to think a bit before we do something. You have to be strong enough to learn from the questions inside you and be empowered by all that there is to learn. Take calculated risks and watch them pay off. All I can say is sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zone order to do something we otherwise could only dream of doing. Our Inner Critic is only as powerful as we allow it to be.
When we are going through changes in our lives it is important we find the places we find Our Inner Peace and go to it often to center ourselves. If we find ourselves overwhelmed we have to allow ourselves the much needed time to recharge our batteries and enjoy that place where we are most comfortable. Don’t let anyone tell you where that place is. Explore and find it for yourself.
When you are in a relationship and you trust your partner but want to spice things up a bit, you have got to discuss the option of role play with your partner. The level of role play you take on is totally up to the two of you. It must be understood and agreed upon up front that the detail of this time is never to be discussed with anyone but the two of you. This is how trust is built and how freedom is established. Role Play can be used as a way to enhance the intimacy and explore each other’s inner fantasies. It is a time where each of you can find out the thoughts that pass through each other’s minds. Now this means that as women you have to be understanding and accepting of the ideas, but it does not mean you have to participate if you are not both comfortable. The lines of communication must be opened first. You should each sit down together and talk about your basic fantasies to start off with. These are the things you try first to start to build the trust and open the lines of communication. As you both get more and more comfortable you can start to get a little more adventurous, but remember it has to be something that you are both comfortable with before you try it. It has to be a time to bond and explore not just fulfill the other partner’s fantasy. Especially in the beginning. You need to agree and then gradually expand together as you are both comfortable and confident. Role Play is a great tool to use when you get to a point in your relationship when you are taking each other for granted or not taking the time for one another. You can plan a date night to start off with and meet one another at a restaurant, a bar, a park, etc. and meet there as though it is the first meeting and flirt and pick each other up. Make it exciting. Fuel that fire that you should have inside of you, no matter how deep. If you don’t have that you will have to build it. A healthy relationship has fire and passion. Don’t take one another for granted and make sure you tell one another regularly what it is that draws you to them. A person needs to hear the good things and by role playing you are able to show one another what you want and make it fun.
When we start to learn to drive it is usually the straightaways that are easiest to maneuver. It’s when we get experience and confidence that we are able to take on the curves. It is a bit the same with any curves. If you are confident and know what you can handle, you can maneuver around just about anything or anyone. If all you do is take the easy road you will never truly learn what it is to live. If you don’t take a chance on the curves just think about the amazing things you may never get to witness.
Take a Chance and learn to Manage those Curves!
When I think of Tough Love, I tend to wonder how can you be tough on someone you truly love? It isn’t easy to not want to help those you care about and watch them struggle when you have the means to help. How do you help them without actually enabling them?
Think about our kids and how we tend to want the best for them. If we continuously give to them without any expectations they aren’t able to learn how to fend for themselves. Now if we decide to teach them how to achieve their own goals we then give them the tools they need to succeed in life away from us. As parents we learned that we aren’t perfect ourselves but we want to give to our children what we didn’t have. In doing this there are times that we actually hurt them more than help them. If you can honestly say you have guided your children and given them the proper tools and they still choose the wrong path then it is definitely time to step back and let them figure things out for themselves. However, if you have only expected them to grow up and not shown by example how are they truly supposed to learn. Children are followers until they are shown how to be leaders. By first showing unconditional love, they still know they are loved when you are forced to implement tough love.
This same philosophy goes for those around us. If we continue to tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear, how are they going to grow and better themselves when they are perpetuating the same behaviors over and over. Tough love isn’t easy but again when your friends and family know you love them unconditionally, they will know you only say what you say out of the kindness of your heart.
Just remember that in order to implement Tough Love, you first have to show Unconditional Love. Otherwise you are just being selfish and controlling and that doesn’t teach anyone anything positive in the end.
When you live a Positive Life, it is not Black or White. There are many many shades of Grey. You can’t force everyone to see things exactly the same and say you are living a Positive Life. Positivity is varying shades for each of us. Absolutes create Negativity because that is requiring everyone around us to think exactly the same and that is not positive at all. By opening your heart and mind to all the possibilities you encourage yourself to expand your limits and you are able to see things from other angles that you may have missed previously. Don’t be afraid of change and allow yourself so witness the world from the view of those around you. See the Greys of Positivity and open the doors of possibilities.
We have two chances at a Parent/Child Relationship first as the child and then if we are lucky enough, as the parent. I am not sure either is easy. Two individuals with their own independent views can’t always see eye to eye. As a child, we often look up to our parents, believing they are perfect until that image is shattered by some event. We don’t understand until much later when we mature that we are all imperfect and we just have to accept out imperfections and learn to build up our strengths and surround ourselves with those with strengths that we have as weaknesses.
Once we grow up and become parents of our own we have another opportunity to have that Parent/Child Relationship. It is up to us to take those lessons we learned and try to teach our children from them, knowing that they may not really get it until they are parents themselves but be comfortable enough that we know we are guiding them properly. We can’t be selfish and emotional when it comes to teaching. It has to come from a grounded place and we have to not judge our children for their imperfections but not enable them either.
Guide our youth so they can become the adults we will be proud of later. Acknowledge that they may not do everything as you would but you should accept their paths and try to guide them when you are given the opportunity without judging. You never know if their way can teach them something that will take them even further than you ever imagined. In the end we have to be their role models and realize that is the only thing in our control.