Bad things happen to good people. The worst thing you can do to yourself is assume that everyone out there is going to hurt you just because one person did. The best thing we can chose to do for ourselves is to learn that we have to accept that most people have good intentions but mistakes get made and we take the chance of getting hurt every moment of our lives.
I have a very good friend that was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and given 6-8 months to live. This man had all but given up hope when we met. I can’t explain to you what brought us together as friends. We met on a social networking site and just started chatting one day. Then one day we really had a deep conversation about things that happened to each of us in our pasts and we connected. The next day this man that I had never met offline started opening up more and more to me and we became closer and closer like we had known each other for a lifetime. After a while of connecting this man that I had become actual “friends” with informed me that he had been diagnosed with Liver Cancer and the doctors had given him 6-8 months at best. He was determined he was not going to do Chemo and he had accepted his fate. I was not happy to hear this news and that he was willing to “give up on life” so easily. He didn’t feel that he was giving up, he was ready to move on and be out of pain he told me. I got a little upset with these words and there were times that we both had to agree to disagree.
One day he was at the hospital and they needed to wheel him in for a procedure that he was not wanting to have and he was chatting with me online and they kept telling him that he had to shut the computer off and he told them he would when he was done chatting with his friend online. I kept telling him he had to let them do there job and he said, “They can wait.” I couldn’t help but chuckle and feel a little sorry for these people having to deal with this very stubborn man that knew exactly what he wanted to do. They eventually took the computer and wheeled him to the procedure.
A few hours later I get a message from him and he was not happy because they had implanted a radiation pellet into his liver and he was now going to have to go through the Chemo even though he was clear that he did not want to go through this process. He was very angry and he just kept telling me over and over how mad he was about this. I just tried to calm him and in time we agreed that he would do what he had to do and when he was done with the last treatment he would heal and then he and I would choose a day and we would each go to a Denny’s in our area and we would have breakfast in cyberspace together. This was my promise to this man who in a short amount of time had become a very close friend and looked at me as his daughter. We talked daily through his Chemo treatments and he had even asked that I send him a quick picture every morning. He called them his VixFixes. I felt it was the least I could do for this man that was going through so much and all alone on the other side of the country. I would send happy pictures each morning and the occasional short video of inspiration and encouragement. I never in a million years would have realize how much this would mean to someone.
He went through so much pain, sickness and many visits back to the hospital for major side effects of this horrible disease and procedure to kill it. We made it to the night before the 8th and final treatment and he had gone to the hospital for labs and the doctor didn’t want to even allow him to do the final treatment because he was bleeding internally and his red blood count was very low and they didn’t want to risk the final procedure. My friend demanded that they finish the treatments so that he could go home and start healing. He agreed that after the treatment if they need to admit him they could but he had to finish the treatments. The doctor agreed but wasn’t happy about it.
The next morning I wished him luck and told him I would be looking forward to hearing from him when he was done. I signed off and waited and waited. Many hours past and I got a little worried but something told me things were going to be ok. I sent Positive thoughts out and continued to wait. Then I got the message I had been waiting. He was home and he had been admitted after the procedure to cauterize the bleeds and now he was home to start the healing process. He seemed content with what he had accomplished and with whatever came next. He spent the weekend resting and healing and we chatted more through out the weekend and his spirits seemed to improve daily.
Monday morning came and he had to go back to the lab to see how his blood count was and talk to the doctor. I wished him luck and signed off. Around 1:00pm I received a message that I was thrilled to received. “missy…the doctor told me today I have given him a different outlook on cancer today. He said my bloodcount is almost back to normal already. Every thing he can see in the test he had them run on me today made him believe I would be around for a long time. He said last thursday he would have bet mone on I would be in the hospital on my death bed already. He said I was the strongest most cantankorous man he has ever met. Told me to go home follow the diet he has layed out for me and he would see me when we start retesting in 30 days. We did it missy we fought through the hardest part and come out of itwith flying colors.” I got chills and started cry reading this message. I responded back that I was so proud of him. He just sent, “we did it honey we did it”!! I kept explaining that this was all him and I was just here to support him through this process. This man who had fought for our country and protected our freedom and watched his fellow soldiers die and carry them across enemy lines to bring them back, had yet again overcome a battle that he was not meant to win. I was honored to be a part of this moment.
He asked that I write this post and make sure I titled it “Power of Friendship,” because through a dark time in a man’s life, when he believed he was all alone he was given a reason to fight through a terrible time. He was brought to a stranger who in the end became like family.
He goes back in 30 days to get the results of the next labwork and when that is done he now wants to take a trip across the country on a train and at the end of that trip this new friend has promised she will be there to pick him up from the station for those HUGS (Healing, Understanding, Growing, and Surviving) that they had talked about through those 4 weeks. Oh yes and we still are going to have that breakfast that he fought so hard to make sure he got. If this story doesn’t prove that the power of friendship and positive thinking does help I don’t know what does. You never know how much your words and friendship can mean to someone. Just remember that next time you meet someone and you think you can’t make a difference.
Here is my Positivity Jar that I used last year as a trial. I found the idea on Pinterest and thought it was an interesting novelty. I had gone through significant changes during the previous year and knew I needed something to remind me that I have positives in my life as well.
I decided I was going to start my own “Positivity Challenge” on New Year’s Day. I even posted it on Facebook and decided that every day, no matter how my day was, I had to think of at least one positive thing, write it down, and put it in the jar. This may seem easy to do but not so when your mind is full of primarily negativity.
I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to just find one positive thing in the beginning. I literally had to force myself to really think about. About 6 months in it just got easier and easier and by the end of the year I was writing multiple things daily and there honestly was far less negativity in my thoughts and I felt amazing.
For those of you still living in the world of the negative, I challenge you to try this for one year. If after that year you don’t feel that your thoughts gravitate more toward the positives and less toward negative, I want to hear from you. Are you in?
We each have our own path we must take to our future. Some of use take the long winding uphill path with many obstacles along the way. Others take the straight and narrow and uncluttered path. Who’s to say which path is the “Right” Path. We all have our lessons to be learned maybe along the more difficult path we learn more about ourselves that will be necessary for a more prosperous future or maybe it will lead us to another path we had never even considered for ourselves.
Just because I don’t chose the same path you chose does not make either of our paths worse or better than the other’s it is just different and unique to us individually. We all have our own unique reasons for living. I won’t judge your choices and don’t judge mine. What seems to work for someone today may not work for them forever and we all need to respect that and accept each of us for our own choices. With support ever choice can be a good one. It is when we are surrounded by nothing but negativity and discouragement that we give up on ourselves and start second guessing ourselves. I may make choices for me that are not right for you but in the end I live my life and you live yours.
Each of us have Our Paths and we have to support and encourage one another in order to reach our true potential. If you aren’t getting the support you truly have to re-evaluate the negatives in your life and determine if they are hurting you or need to be addressed and built on to become your positive. Chose Your Own Path and stand by that which you firmly believe is the right one for the future you want for yourself not for someone else.
A great lady and dear friend of mine put this video together to bring awareness to Suicide and the signs for those with the thoughts and for those with family and friends dealing with these difficult times. Please take moment to watch this video and then share it with your friends and family. You never know who you will reach that you never even thought was dealing with this in their lives. Let’s support each other with awareness and caring. HUGS!!
Thank you for sharing this with me Lorraine!!