This topic is close to my heart. I feel very strongly about the need for Security and Independence in one’s life. If you are always thinking you are not a good enough for those around you all you do in return is tear down the others in order to boost yourself and we all know that isn’t healthy. You have to dig deep inside you when you are criticizing other around you or controlling them by making them feel guilty for wanting things you may not.
I am often amazed by people who are insecure. You wouldn’t expect most of them to have anything to be insecure about. Some are very attractive, have great jobs, are very social, have great families, etc. what in the world would they have to be insecure about you may think. Insecurities cannot always be explained. We all see ourselves differently when we look in the mirror. It could be our pasts, our choices we have made that we aren’t happy about, our unexplored dreams lost, and many more things. We all have our wants and desires for ourselves that we let become insecurities at times. The key is to not allow those to impact us negatively. Take those insecurities and grow from them and learn about ourselves deeper. Never allow your insecurities to be an excuse to tear others down or control those around you so that you feel more in control. We all need our independence and self-identity. If you feel that it takes someone else or others to do this for you then you truly need to take step back and reassess yourself. By allowing this to impact those around you will only tear apart your relationships and in the end it could actually become a self-fulfilled prophecy. If you are accusing others of maybe cheating or wanting a life without you more, then in time if you continue to plant that seed when that other person finally has enough that prophecy will be fulfilled and you will very likely be left alone and you will try to blame that person when in reality you need to look at yourself and realize you pushed them to it.
Take time for you to find yourself and love yourself. Never have people in your life because you can’t live without them. You should have people in your life because they enhance your life and being around them just increases your happiness. When we make people our “everything” we end up putting way to much pressure on that person to be perfect and in time they will not feel they can ever really be what you expect. Be happy with who you are and always find your positives in your life, because very often things can be far worse than they are today and if you take a moment to analyze your situation you will realize that there are many positives to be thankful for. Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.
I think we all make a mistake when we focus too much on pleasing everyone we meet. Our focus should be on making ourselves happy and in the end we shouldn’t be trying to turn “Many” Heads but should truly focus on find the Right One. Never settle for second best. If it doesn’t feel Perfect then don’t waste your time or the other person’s. Be happy in your life and remember at the end of the day the “Right One” is out there. If you settle for the wrong one you will miss out.
Just a little VixTalk opinion of the day:
Do you ever wonder why people cheat? I have noticed in the past couple years that more people consider cheating than I ever realized. There are many reason why I believe people take the leap from fantasizing about being with another person to actually crossing the line and engaging in intimacy with another person other than their significant other. I will not justify the actually crossing of this line but I will only acknowledge that I can at time understand why someone would even consider it.
One primary reason I have heard from men is that it is against Human nature for a man to be monogamous. Men are made to spread to procreate I am told. They were never meant to be with only one woman. I am not sure I buy into this but I do understand that it is easy to get bored in a relationship if is allowed to smolder and not fanned to keep the fire burning.
Another reason I hear is the one I have spoken of in previous posts. There often becomes a time in a relationship that one partner or the other decides to withhold sex as punishment from their significant other. This happens with both sexes but I see women withholding much more often than men. I will admit there was a time in my life where I thought I understood this method, but all this does is deprive both parties. Sex is a great way to relieve stress and build intimacy between two people. During those times where you would think you might hold back should really be the time where you insist on it. It creates a bond, releases stress, and boosts the confidence of both parties.
Yet another reason I have notice is the loss of attraction for one another. This I firmly believe happens primarily because of a lack of communication between the two parties. If one person loses the spark for the other they need to be able to discuss this with the other so that they may work together to determine how they can rekindle that spark. If the person just keeps this to them self in fear of hurting the other’s feelings and they chose to just go out and find the spark elsewhere, in the end don’t they end up hurting them both?
If a relationship is going to last both partners need to be willing to work together to be each other’s fantasy. You both have your daily lives and have work and children possibly to manage but you have to also remember to take time for each other to communicate what is missing and what is also working in your intimacy. If one partner is in need for spice then role play is a great way to give them a taste of that without having to have them go out searching for it. You need to be each other’s fantasies in the bedroom. Men, this does not only go for your women. If you expect your woman to be your fantasy you need to take the time to find out exactly what it is she fantasizes about as well. Instead of searching outside your partnership, create the fantasy inside it and “cheat” with each other from time to time. Enjoy each other.
I get asked by friends and family all the time my thoughts on this Phenomenon called the G-Spot Orgasm. My question to them is, “Do you believe all women are “physically capable” of having one?” I am amazed how many people believe it is not something all women are “physically capable” of. What, do some women just have this “magical” spot and others don’t? The female body is an amazing thing but the sad thing is most people have no clue how to really enjoy it.
The key to a G-Spot Orgasm (aka: Female Ejaculation or Squirting) is believing you are capable of doing it and trusting your partner. If you relax and allow your partner to take control and massage the spot about 1.5″ to 2″ up and inside the vagina you will in time have the most intense orgasm you have ever had in your life. If you let yourself go fully and just allow yourself to enjoy the full release it is almost like having an out of body experience in my opinion. If you and your partner are interested in … this experience together there are plenty of tutorials online to show you proper technique. I highly recommend the “Sign Language I Love You” Method (as I like to call it).
Do your research and stop thinking that this amazing experience only happens to specific people. Now I won’t say your experience will be exactly like everyone else because we all have our pleasure thresholds but don’t deprive yourself of this experience because you believe the myth that not everyone is capable of having their own variation of this. You just have to want to experience it, trust your partner and then let yourself enjoy the insane pleasure this can give you and also the intense level of intimacy that is can create between you and your partner.
I really want to hear your feedback and your thoughts on this topic. Comment below and let me know. Now go start your research. I promise you won’t regret it.
I have noticed more and more, lately how many people tend to live in secrecy due to the fear of showing their true desires, addictions or even their feelings for fear of hurting others. We tend to justify the lies and deceit by saying that it is out of love and affection for the others in our lives. I wonder how much of that is true and how much of it is because we just don’t want to face the truth that we are just plain selfish and we want it all. I have spoken to many people that are living double lives, especially online. Many people living a fantasy life while putting on the happy face at home and put on the facade that everything is perfect and they are happy. Is this fair to anyone involved? These people are not being true to themselves or those involved with them.
We say we tell these “little white lies” to protect others that are happy with things the way they are, but are they truly happy? They are being deceived and manipulated. They are often being put into a situation they are not going to want to deal with the consequences of if the truth comes out and they don’t even know. What right does one person have to make that decision for another person?
Let me use the example of someone who is married and has an addiction to cyber-fantasy. They live a very conservative real world life but are not sexually satisfied by their partner. They find that they receive sexual gratification online and that it would only hurt their partner by being honest with them since their partner is very happy with their life together. Now let’s say the unsatisfied partner decides to start interacting with people online and making choices that if found out could completely devastate the other partner and their way of life. Is it fair of this unsatisfied partner to make this decision for them both? I am constantly amazed by the choices people make online because they don’t have to immediately answer to the consequences of their actions and they justify it because they are not physically doing anything with the other people. I agree they are not physically doing anything wrong but if you know that your partner, family or your friends are going to possibly be hurt if this information is found out is it fair for you to take that chance with all those people’s lives?
I, myself, have had times in my life that I felt that keeping my wants and needs to myself to protect others, was the only option. You tend to truly lose yourself and can become very lost. The longer you hide your true self, the more damage is done to you and to those around you. When you finally can’t take it anymore and you are either found out or your just can’t do it anymore. You then are not only hurting those you were trying to protect by being honest but when they find out that you were deceiving them all that time you break their trust and cause those involved to question everything you have ever told them.
If you know you have a problem and you need help or just aren’t being satisfied in your life the best advice I can give is get the help you need to have the strength to confront your inner demons and find a way to stop living in secrecy. Be true to yourself and accept yourself as you are so that those around you will be able to accept you as well. If you don’t like yourself, you are right neither are those around you. If you believe your wants and desires are bad or even a little insane, then maybe instead of hiding and doing these things in secrecy get the professional help you need to get to the root of the problem and face yourself.
Just because something bad has happened to you once does not mean it will continue to impact your life, unless of course you don’t let it go and put it in your past. Bad things happen to good people. If you allow that to become what defines you it will continue to eat at your core and become you and then you become the victim. You have to Acknowledge, Accept and Achieve.
First step to facing your past is to Acknowledge it. Acknowledge what has happened to negatively impact your future. Stop hiding it and most of all stop hiding from it. If you made bad choices acknowledge them. If you were abused acknowledge that they were the ones that were bad, not you. If you made decisions you regret, acknowledge the mistake. You are only the victim as long as you allow yourself to be so.
Next you need to Accept the reality that you cannot change the past. Accept that your past is History and History cannot be changed but by accepting it you can learn from it and move forward. If you keep reliving the past over and over all you do is continue to stuck and you are not able to move forward to the life you are meant to live. Accepting your Past will allow you to release the guilt of it and in return allow you to no longer be the victim.
The final and my favorite step is to Achieve Positivity. Once you are able to Acknowledge and Accept your Past you can release all the negativity that stays trapped inside you and you are able to Achieve a life of Positive Energy. As I always remember, “Positive Energy Brings Positive Results”. In you future you are destined to be the Hero of your life not the Victim.
Take charge of your life today and never allow your past and those that may have hurt you to make you a victim forever. You need to rise above; Acknowledge, Accept, and most importantly Achieve!! You deserve happiness and only you can require that in your life.
What is “The Social Chameleon” you ask? This person tends to be able to blend in with any group they find themselves in. Have you ever known the person that seems to just be able to talk to everyone? I seem to be that person. I have always been able to enjoy the company of any group of people that I find myself around. I just enjoy being with people and learning from them. Every person I meet has something to teach me or I them. That is what life is about.