As I sit here in my local Starbucks and start to write this post I have to ask myself…”How much Positive did you truly witness in the year of 2013?” We all seem to forget to focus our attention on the Negatives and the “What Ifs” and “What Nots”. In 2013, I decided to use my energy to focus on the Positives in my life. We all have rough days, but if we take that time to really dig deep and look for the good in your days you will find there are far more Positive moments than negative ones. The phrase “Positive Energy Brings Positive Results” truly started to make sense to me. Negative energy is a useless use of space in your life. It will suck the happiness out of you and for every negative thought you dwell on you take up space for multiple positive thoughts. I know the Positive thoughts feel much better and are much healthier too.
I will never say that I don’t have negative moments, but when I do I try to take a step back from it and evaluate it. Even the worst of events contain a small amount of good. I take time to find that in everything so that I can be sure to not allow that negative energy to fester and become a cancer in my life. Negative has a tendency to grow if left to its own. It will take over in your soul and I refuse to allow that to be what defines me. I have people that try to say that this way of living is crazy and that there is something wrong with it. I have actually been told “Yeah, You are weird that way now!!” I just laugh and say, “If being happy and positive is weird, I would prefer this feeling over negative and depressed any day.” Why would anyone ever choose negativity over positivity? Hmmm…The opportunity to smile and make others smile? Or be unhappy and down? I think I will continue to choose the smiles. 🙂
At the beginning of 2013 I started what I call a Positivity Jar and whenever I am having a tough day I force myself to look for the positive and I write it down and put it in the jar. I shared this idea with others and encouraged them all to do the same. Whenever I look at that almost full jar it makes me remember how many good things I have had in my life just this year. It sure makes me smile and I look forward to the last day of the year and going through and reading them all and then starting all over again in 2014.
There have been many changes for me this year and I believe everything happens for a reason. I will continue to look to 2014 as the year I make dreams come true and I hope that my writing will one day lead me to the Motivational Speaking I have wanted to do for so long and I hope that my words can be heard and help others from time to time. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity and I treasure each and every one of you that reads this post.
Do you think the “Zero Violence Tolerance Rules” in schools has helped or made things worse? I believe that all they have done is take away the ability for the innocent people to protect themselves. The innocent children now worry that if they fight back against the bullies they will get in trouble themselves. How is that fair? If they snitch and turn the kids in they have to just prove they are being harassed and bullied and in the process of doing so the bullies torture them that much more and continue to get away with it. They know the innocent children will not defend themselves, for fear of the consequences so the bullies are then empowered. In my opinion this is very similar to gun laws and the fact that we are taking guns out of the hands of those that need protection from the criminals that will have guns whether it is legal or not.
There is no credible evidence that Zero Violence Tolerance Policies have prevented violence in schools. (Skiba 2000) The only thing I believe that has been prevented is the students that follow policy and don’t want to get in trouble get bullied and picked on much more because they know they will be punished for defending themselves in accordance with these policies. I have zero tolerance for bullying myself. I have told my children they are never to instigate a fight or ever to throw the first punch, but if someone hits them and they have no other methods of protecting themselves they are to do whatever it takes to protect themselves and they will not be in trouble with me. I am not sure if that is the perfect way to handle this either but I do believe our current policies are creating more anxiety in our children because they worry constantly that something that most would consider typical human nature will be misinterpreted and they will get in trouble for being overly friendly or just a little more affectionate than another person.
When I was young we had a kid that we all called “Captain Kisser”. He would chase the girls around the playground just to steal a little kiss. This was never thought of as a bad thing because the girl that was being chased thought she was the “special” one for the day. I know that sounds silly to us adults but when I think back to those days as a child, it was fun and exciting. Today if that young man did something like this one of the little girls that he kissed could press charges of harassment. Then again one of the girls that he didn’t kiss could actually say that she felt discriminated against. I think we have taken away the innocence of youth and actually d-emasculated our young men to an extent.
We need to really stop treating our children so much like adults and allow them to be children a bit more. Boys and girls are affectionate by nature and I believe we need to embrace that and stop creating non-emotional and overly anxious adults. Let’s take a step back and realize what childhood is about and let these kids enjoy being kids while they can. They have plenty of time to be grown up.
I think Zero Violence Tolerance Policies were implemented as a reaction to the exception not the rule in schools. I know we all want our children to feel safe when they go to school and we cannot allow the bad seeds to make us over-react. I believe our Zero Violence Tolerance Policies need to be re-evaluated and we need to just think harder how to prevent the exceptions and implement policies that allow students to feel more accepted for who they are now try to make them what society believe we all should become.
My son was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when he was 6 1/2 years old. Prior to his diagnosis he had difficulty socializing in school and would have rages that I never saw at home. He was always a perfectionist and a pleaser. If he felt he was doing everything you wanted and was to his expectations he never had any problems. It was when he felt he displeased or didn’t meet someone else’s expectations that he would self implode and end up exploding.
There were many times I received calls from the school because he had lost control in the classroom. They finally did psychological tests and found that he was highly intelligent and actually capable of working 2-3 years ahead but because of the rages he got to the point that he was one episode away from being expelled from school in the 1st grade. It did not make sense to me. They tried to tell me, “There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just smart.” I responded, “A smart child does not pick up a chair and throw it across the room for answering a hypothetical question incorrectly.” The school Psychologist responded, “There is no right answer to a hypothetical question though.” I looked right at her and said, “Exactly my point.” If he did not get the acknowledgement to his answer to a question the teacher had directly asked him, and they just moved on to the next student he would assume that his answer what “wrong”. If the teacher took the time to just respond and say something like, “Thank you for that answer.” or just took a few seconds to acknowledge the response, he knew he was heard.
Once I knew what it was that my son was dealing with, I educated myself on the topic the best I could and worked closely with doctors, administrators, other parents, and teachers to ensure that my son received the education he deserved. While at the same time, I educate others on what these children require to be successful in addition to the medication they may need. The best explanation I can give is if a classroom was on the second floor and a student was in a wheelchair we would need to make sure they had a lift of sorts to get to class. A special needs child of any level has their needed “lifts” that may be acquired or supplied to make them successful. We need to put together a “tool box” for them so they have what they need to succeed in life after school as well.
After 10 years of working with the schools and medical professionals I am happy to say that my son is currently managing his disorder naturally with no medications. He definitely has his tough days but we have given him the “tools” he needed to tackle those days head on. He will always have his struggles unfortunately, but now I am very confident that he will be able to analyze the issue and be able to handle it properly. These children just need our support and guidance. Not all children will be able to do it without medication but with the right guidance you won’t need to over medicate them.
Shame of our sexuality seems to be a huge obstacle in our really enjoying the pleasures that accompany sex. If you openly admit that you enjoy sex people judge you by that. In some circles sex is dirty and it is naughty to talk about. I believe that is why so many do not allow themselves the true pleasures and health benefits that accompany the actual act of sex. If you stop putting up the walls and thinking while in the act I believe you will enjoy it to it’s fullest.
When we hold back and worry about what others may be thinking or may think we hinder ourselves from letting go and really “allowing” ourselves to experience the amazing possibilities. Sex is the one time in your day where you should forget the stresses of the day and just escape for just a few moments. Let go of your inhibitions and just enjoy the benefits. Think of yourself for those few moments and “allow” yourself to enjoy everything about the moment. Some people tend to worry more about their partner but by enjoying ourselves we please our partner in the process.