Are you sitting on the “make a huge decision in your life” fence? I know I battle with this often and have had to throw caution to the wind and just take a leap of faith! Actually believing in myself, not simply doing what I have always done. Taking a Leap of Faith means that you have to trust your gut. Not rely on your brain or your heart, because both of these have their own walls that will prevent us from truly letting go and making new things happen. By throwing caution to the wind you can truly live the life that is meant to be. Not just the “I am safe” version of life that your brain and heart agree you are able to handle. Push your limits and take a risk at times. That Leap of Faith could very well be the most amazing future you could never have imagined.
I recently reread the following article “Here’s Why You’re Having Bad Sex” and wanted to share my thoughts on it with you. First take a moment to read through his article and then come back and I will continue…See you back soon! www.attn.com/stories/4597/nev-schulman-casual-sex-tips?utm_source=nevschulman&utm_medium=fbpost&utm_campaign=influencer by Nev Schulman
Welcome Back! Hope you enjoyed the article. Now here are my thoughts, first of all let me say that I feel that society needs to back the hell off this hypocrisy that men can have sex as often or with whomever they want but women can only do it when they are in a committed relationship. If a woman feels she can emotionally handle the ramifications of having casual sex with multiple partners that is absolutely her decision. However, she has to accept that men and women are just built differently. Even when you think you can control your emotions, actually you have no control of them whatsoever. You may end up feeling empty and alone after you have a one night stand and beating yourself up. Now you are totally confused because you probably didn’t really like the guy past just attraction and lust. You are going to battle with yourself because your hormones may not know the difference. Hormones are going to elevate and get you questioning your initial thoughts. You are also going to start worrying what others are going to think of you. Let me say right now…WHO GIVES A SHIT!! No one but you lives your life and if you made the choice it is your choice to live with. No one else has the right to judge you for it. My hope is that one day society will accept that Sex is Healthy for both genders. We both deserve to get these benefits and not feel guilty for it.
As for men and casual sex, I can honestly say I have seen a change in the way men in my age group view casual sex. Some are all about the casual and then just don’t know how to stop the desire for something new and stopping that feeling of they might miss out on something great if they stop with just one. They worry they will meet a freak in the sheets and then once they commit and become exclusive that freak will do the stereotypical, shutdown and start using sex to control them. This is what has to stop. Why do we as women feel it is right for us to use sex as a weapon instead of accepting it as a reward for both of us?
Be sure you are enjoying sex with your partner. That is truly what matters in the end. If you truly love having sex with your partner you will want to find time for the two of you whenever you possibly can have it. Keep that spark and it can be forever. No your relationship isn’t all about sex but SEX is an important glue in the intimacy of your relationship. Without intimacy, love will fizzle and potentially one partner, or both, will start looking for that spark elsewhere. If you truly love your partner make sure you keep those passion embers HOT.
Take pride in who you are today, no matter where you came from. Every single one of us has a past, some better than others. Some have gone through things none of the rest of us could even possibly imagine. Does this make them any worse or better than any of us? Our past is only part of our foundation for our future. Some go through things that are needed in order to strengthen them, for whatever reason. I know that sounds horrible that some people have to go through horrible experiences in order to be stronger but sometimes it is needed. Everything, in my opinion, happens for a reason. Take pride in the fact that you survived all that was thrown in your path and process it and make it all part of your solid foundation. We all started as helpless infants dependent on others to survive. Now it’s our turn to take pride in ourselves and rise above all that tried to keep us down.
Take a minute and look at yourself in the mirror. What feature do you see first? Do you see the good or bad first? Typically on average people will zero in on the things they don’t like about themselves first thing. If this is you, I want you to try something. Before you walk to the mirror think of the parts of yourself that you do like about yourself and tell yourself to focus on that part of you only. Don’t look at any other feature. Now acknowledge what it is about the feature that you are comfortable with. Now you have to think of another feature that you either like or just don’t dislike. Focus immediately on that feature. Repeat the cycle of telling yourself what it is you do like. Now I want you to think of the feature you hate the most about yourself. Go ahead, be real now. What feature do you have that you just hate? Now I want you to stare at that body part. Stare hard at it. Is there anything you can do to change that feature? Anything at all in your immediate power to make it better. I am guessing the answer is no or you would have already done something about it, right? Well I want you to remind yourself that we all have flaws and parts of us we can not change and that we do not like but there are also parts that we do. It is the great balance of life. Accept that you are unique and even your flaws are a gift because they make you different from someone else and that is a positive. If you can’t change it, Embrace it! Every part of you makes you the wonderful person you are and you have to love yourself for all that you are not just pieces of yourself. This will not change overnight but I want you to keep working on this every day. I tell you that you will start to see a difference in how you see yourself in time once you start accepting every part of you for being special to you!
When you give a gift you have no control over what the recipient does with the item! It is theirs to do with as they will and you have to let go! You have no rights to the future of said item and should in no way make the person feel they need to do what you want done with it! It is a gift to that person from you and that is all! I’ve talked to people who get upset when they give a gift and down the road the recipient decides to give it away and the giver gets upset! Once you give the person the gift you accept that they will do what is right for them in regards to that item! Just accept it!