Are you doing what you are meant to do or are you just going through the motions and doing what others tell you that you have to do? So many are ignoring their given talents and just doing what comes easiest instead of extending themselves a bit and being happier and get more out of what they are doing. When are you going to follow you passion and gifts? If you allow yourself to sell yourself short and just get by you will never know exactly what it is you could have become. Never sell yourself short, cause you have unlimited value. Reach for it and make it happen.
In the recent years I have learned more from my past by acknowledging the impact it has had on me. I know now that by ignoring the past and burying it, all it does is hurt me more. I think of it like this, if you bury something living it does not die without putting up a fight. It will scratch and dig to try to uncover itself and the more you cover it up the angrier it gets. I learned that the best thing is to bring it out and address it by acknowledging how it impacts me today. The moment I started this process, my life has calmed so much and my future has actually been uncovered through it. Is that possible to uncover the past and actually find my future? I can only tell you that all the years I buried and tried to ignore the past that I was not proud of, were full of negative moments. The more I tried to “forget” the past the more it seemed to keep haunting me. Like an angry spirit that only wants to be set free and in the process it haunts others because it is not sure how else to be heard. Healing can only truly begin once you acknowledge those things that you are burying. It’s time for us all to achieve the positive future we were meant to be living. Not allowing the past to hold us down, while trying to drag us into that grave with it. It is time to LIVE and let the past move on.
There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. We all need to be alone from time to time to get to know ourselves. When we spend time in silence with our own thoughts we truly get to know who we are. If you can be content in your own presence then imagine how you are going to be with someone else. The key is to not allow yourself slip into loneliness. Loneliness is when you are alone and all you can think about is how empty you feel. It is not healthy to feel lonely because it can easily transition into depression. The healthy place to be is when you can sit in a room alone and not feel that you are. You are able to sit in silence and enjoy your thoughts and the silence in itself. Strive to be happy alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself why would anyone else want to be. Think about that.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
What is it depression? A feeling of loneliness? A feeling of there being no hope and not being able to change what has been done? It is a feeling no one wants but just about everyone has experienced at some level in their life. Some of us have been able to get through it, some of us have not. For a certain percentage of people, it was too much to handle and they cut there life short. For others they are still fighting it. It’s a long battle and some start to feel it’s a war they are losing but they are keeping their head up and thinking positive.
Then there are the strong ones who were able to see the good things in life and pull themselves out of it and move on. They put a smile on their face and said it is staying there no matter what happens. We can all hope we are these lucky ones that can pull themselves out of it. Some things are just too difficult to pull yourself out of for some. Death of someone held close to the heart or the loss of a loved one due to break up or divorce can be things that are just too much to pull yourself out of. Bullying and shame will cause people to do things out of desperation as well.
The key to pulling yourself out is knowing no matter what situation you are in, you have support groups. Some lean towards music, others lean towards their friends. Then there are those that have lost all friend or family support and can’t find happiness in music so what do they lean toward? Counseling or psychiatry is always a good choice. Your counselor and/or psychiatrist should know somewhere that can get you help or they personally may know how to help. The key is do not give up; suicide is never the option. No matter what you may think, your death will affect someone. There is always someone, somewhere that cares about you, whether it is a friend, family, or someone you would never have thought of. DEATH IS NEVER AN OPTION TO FIX DEPRESSION.
Remember your life matters and if you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is call your local Suicide Prevention Hotline. There is always someone out there that wants to listen.
Take pride in who you are today, no matter where you came from. Every single one of us has a past, some better than others. Some have gone through things none of the rest of us could even possibly imagine. Does this make them any worse or better than any of us? Our past is only part of our foundation for our future. Some go through things that are needed in order to strengthen them, for whatever reason. I know that sounds horrible that some people have to go through horrible experiences in order to be stronger but sometimes it is needed. Everything, in my opinion, happens for a reason. Take pride in the fact that you survived all that was thrown in your path and process it and make it all part of your solid foundation. We all started as helpless infants dependent on others to survive. Now it’s our turn to take pride in ourselves and rise above all that tried to keep us down.
Take a minute and look at yourself in the mirror. What feature do you see first? Do you see the good or bad first? Typically on average people will zero in on the things they don’t like about themselves first thing. If this is you, I want you to try something. Before you walk to the mirror think of the parts of yourself that you do like about yourself and tell yourself to focus on that part of you only. Don’t look at any other feature. Now acknowledge what it is about the feature that you are comfortable with. Now you have to think of another feature that you either like or just don’t dislike. Focus immediately on that feature. Repeat the cycle of telling yourself what it is you do like. Now I want you to think of the feature you hate the most about yourself. Go ahead, be real now. What feature do you have that you just hate? Now I want you to stare at that body part. Stare hard at it. Is there anything you can do to change that feature? Anything at all in your immediate power to make it better. I am guessing the answer is no or you would have already done something about it, right? Well I want you to remind yourself that we all have flaws and parts of us we can not change and that we do not like but there are also parts that we do. It is the great balance of life. Accept that you are unique and even your flaws are a gift because they make you different from someone else and that is a positive. If you can’t change it, Embrace it! Every part of you makes you the wonderful person you are and you have to love yourself for all that you are not just pieces of yourself. This will not change overnight but I want you to keep working on this every day. I tell you that you will start to see a difference in how you see yourself in time once you start accepting every part of you for being special to you!
There are thorns of negativity all around us and we can’t always control them but we need to focus on being the beauty amongst the thorns of life. Just because there is negativity around us doesn’t mean we have to be negative. Stand out and rise above. Show others how beautiful the world would be if we focused on the positives and allowed the negative to dry up and wither away. If you don’t feed the negativity it will die away. Don’t allow your beauty to be over shadowed but the negativity of others. Be the Beauty Amongst The Thorns in your life!!
There is a great project I have seen on YouTube by a few different people that has inspired me. This project is The Beautiful Project and it shows how telling others they are beautiful changes them instantly. There is something beautiful in us all but we often can’t see it until someone else points it out. Be that inspiration to someone everyday. Step outside of you comfort zone and appreciate the beauty in a stranger. Go up to someone you don’t know and compliment them on one thing and tell them how beautiful they are. Imagine how amazing this world would be if we all started focusing on the beauty around us and less of the ugly. We all have beauty to share and when it is acknowledged by others it gives us the permission we need to shine. Give those around you the permission they seek to be the amazing beauty they may be hiding or not seeing for themselves…YET!!
We all deserve the best but we only get what we settle for! Are you patient enough to hold out for your future and all that it can bring you?
Our weaknesses when embraced can empower us. If you allow your weaknesses too much power they can debilitate you. However, if you own them and embrace them you can learn from them and find out how to empower you instead. We tend to allow our inner critic to tell us that we are weak in certain areas so we don’t even try to overcome them. Embrace your weaknesses, analyze them and find out what you can do to strengthen yourself to potentially overcome them. Never allow it to cause you debilitating anxiety that prevents you from becoming what you are meant to be.
Fall is a great time of year. Seeing nature change right before your eyes. The trees go from beautiful greens to amazing shades of red, orange and yellow. While admiring the beauty this year I got thinking. It is like we get the opportunity to watch nature shed the past and prepare for the new of Spring. What an amazing feeling to see that it is natural to go through continuous change and by accepting this we learn that we have a new opportunity continuously to improve on ourself, learn lessons from the past, and grow from it. Keep Growing!
There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual brain. As a female I was programmed as a youth to believe that sex wasn’t for us as females to truly enjoy but was only our “duty” in a relationship. Unfortunately, this way of thinking wasted a lot of great moments in my sexual life. By allowing my sexual brain to be creative, I have realized this is not just for the male gender. As women, we can enjoy it just like our male counterparts and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The more you accept that you are allowed to enjoy, you and your partner are going to really enjoy it.
You’ve heard the phrase, “Those in Glass Houses should not throw stones,” right? Well how often do you see this metaphor manifest into reality? All too often people fail to accept that they aren’t perfect and should by no means be judging how others live their lives. We should all focus on our own surroundings and choices before we decide it is our place to cast the perverbial stone inside their own glass house. We all have made our own fair share of mistakes and life so when we decide to start passing judgment on those that are finding their own way.
Just like anyone else my inner critic screams louder than anyone else’s at times. The one thing I have learned is to not always listen to it. I hear it of course, but I choose whether or not I am going to listen. At times our inner critics can hold us back because the unknown scares us, so it is there to try and protect us. There are parts of what is heard that may be true so hearing it can give us the opportunity to think a bit before we do something. You have to be strong enough to learn from the questions inside you and be empowered by all that there is to learn. Take calculated risks and watch them pay off. All I can say is sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zone order to do something we otherwise could only dream of doing. Our Inner Critic is only as powerful as we allow it to be.
When we are going through changes in our lives it is important we find the places we find Our Inner Peace and go to it often to center ourselves. If we find ourselves overwhelmed we have to allow ourselves the much needed time to recharge our batteries and enjoy that place where we are most comfortable. Don’t let anyone tell you where that place is. Explore and find it for yourself.
When you live a Positive Life, it is not Black or White. There are many many shades of Grey. You can’t force everyone to see things exactly the same and say you are living a Positive Life. Positivity is varying shades for each of us. Absolutes create Negativity because that is requiring everyone around us to think exactly the same and that is not positive at all. By opening your heart and mind to all the possibilities you encourage yourself to expand your limits and you are able to see things from other angles that you may have missed previously. Don’t be afraid of change and allow yourself to witness the world from the view of those around you. See the Greys of Positivity and open the doors of possibilities.
Yes Garfield, you are so right on…Lol! It’s all about your outlook. The more you call yourself flawed, in anyway, the negativity sets in and makes it that much more difficult to address the problem. Find your positive and remember you are beautiful inside and then you can let the positivity shine outward. Tell yourself when you have your “Winter Coat” on and it’s not wanting to be shed, that you are just too short for your weight. Stand tall and see yourself how you want yourself and make it happen.
We should never forget where we came from, even when we grow and move on. Our past is part of our foundation. As long as you are sure to grow from it and not allow it to hold you back from your ultimate future.
We all have a past. Some good times, some bad times, some times we may wish had never happened. It is only when you choose to focus on the negatives that you can’t see each part for what it is. Be sure you remember mistakes you made so that you are able to relate to others whom aren’t perfect either. Your experiences can be empowering for you as well as others who may go through similar obstacles.
The worse thing any of us can do is forget we are all human and we make mistakes. I’m not perfect and try to see everyone as equals. If you make a mistake and you honestly want to learn from it and grow, I will be there to to help you up. I will give you positive encouragement as fertilizer to stimulate your growth but those who forget their mistakes tend to judge others without remembering where they all came from.
On my birthday I try to reflect on all I have in my life and all I am thankful to have accomplished in the last year. This last year has been an amazing one in my own self growth. This has been a year in which I got in touch with my positive core and took the initiative to cut out the negativity from my life. Some things others may not have seen as negative but for me to identify them as items that were constantly bringing negativity in to my life that was what was important. This doesn’t make those things or people bad just not good for me. We all have a purpose in this world and if we choose to allow negativity to continue to fester in our world that is up to us. It is my choice to keep myself away from these eliments and in this year I have learned how much of a difference in my everyday emotional well-being it has made. Find what makes you truly happy.
In the next year I hope to grow and take VixTalks to the next level and share all that I have to share with those who are open to the amazing life of positive thinking. Hang in there with me and together I think we can show one another an amazing world. Hugs to all…~Vix~
Ask yourself, are you a Worrier or a Warrior? Worriers live in the negative, constantly focused on the “what ifs” and building negative energy in their lives. Then there are the Warriors. Warriors fight for what they want and make things happen by believing in the positives. Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier! Fight for the Positives!!
As we age some of us feel as though we are only getting older. I believe when bottled properly and if rotated and cared for internally we all can age like a fine wine. Getting better with every year. It is only when we are left unattended and in undesirable storage, we become bitter like vinegar. Take care of what’s inside the bottle as well as the bottle itself. 😉
When we’re forced to look at ourselves in the mirror we don’t always recognize what we are looking at until the reflection actually moves and shows us another side. We get so use to accepting what we think we see reflecting back at us. We need to stop once in a while and take time to really see what is there. You may be surprised from time to time that the image has actually evolved visually but your minds eye hadn’t accepted it. Be aware of the image others are able to see even when you are blinded to it.
This one is for my fellow Control Freaks of the World…We have to STOP trying to Control The World and focus on Controlling Ourselves. By having to be in control at all times we sabotage our futures. We have to learn to let things work out as they are intended and not have to make them happen. I have had some experiences lately that have opened my eyes to this and I may have sabotaged some potentially great things for my future by doing it. All I can do now is take these experiences and learn from them and in return share this knowledge with you. Having the world in the palm of our hand is not the same as controlling it. We need to focus our minds on what it is we truly desire and allow that to happen and not force it to happen. Key here is to “Allow” your future!!
When it comes to relationships I think sometimes we want someone to like us so badly, we become something completely opposite of who we are. Then what we often realize is, we run that person off because we are now not who that person was initially attracted to. Once you cross that line it is very hard to take that back. All we can do is take a step back, look at what has happened and learn from that and say to ourself, “I am me and I need to stop trying so hard to make things happen. You are not always able to control the outcome. Accept that and enjoy the ride. No matter how quick or slow it is.” I hope that by acknowledging the mistake you can resurrect the real you and remember in the future that you can not Control The World…You Can Only Control Yourself!!
Cyberspace can be a tricky place these days. We all seem to be online for our own reasons. Everyone wearing a mask of one form or another. Have you ever gone online just to either change your mood or to release feeling you are having. Hoping that maybe there are others out there sharing your feelings or may have words of inspiration? I have really enjoyed the online experience I have had for the past almost 3 years. I have learned so much about myself and about others. It is so not easy to trust people online until I actually meet them in person. If you talk with me online first you will get a guarded but open Vix.
The biggest thing I have learned is that people hide behind the keyboard. Beware if you are going online for dating especially. In 3 years I have talked to a lot of people online and actually met maybe 50 in person, of which it is sad to me that less than 10 of them were as advertised on their profiles. It is a mystery to me why people continue to lie about who they are at all but when the time comes that they agree to actually meet with a person why wouldn’t you be sure to send a current picture of yourself so that you are honest before these people are shocked in person and then left feeling lied to?
Some words of advice for those interacting online, whether it be a social media site or an actual dating site, be sure that you “know” who you are chatting with before sharing too much personal information. There are some shady people online not just insecure ones. I talk to so many people the worry me so much cause they are sharing very private pictures and information with, well honestly, perfect strangers. I can relate to wanting to believe these people and wanting to trust but from experience people LIE. Sometimes they want to be truthful but they get caught up in the moment. Maybe they see your profile and get so caught up in that they believe how could the person in the pictures they are seeing possibly accept them for who they are. Being online can breed insecurity and dishonesty.
I have been in cyberspace for a few years now and I have seen some very interesting things in human behavior during that time. People tend to get behind the keyboard and become something opposite of who they are in the “Real” World. It is interesting to me that these people will portray themselves like something completely opposite of who they are and then when the time comes to actually meet them they get upset with you if you get upset that they are not as I say “advertised”.
Have you noticed that we escape to Cyberspace for virtual reality when we don’t want to accept reality? I have talked to a lot of people. Everyone has their different reasons for being online. I don’t judge, question, or expect anything more than for those who talk to me to just be what they are comfortable with. If you are there to escape from your reality that is fine. If you are there to be that persona you cannot seem to be in reality then I completely understand. The only thing I ever ask is that they are understanding enough to respect that those they talk to can be impacted by their actions.
I have talked to some that use fake pictures, old pictures, or won’t even show a picture at all. These people often either have low self-esteem or can’t for one reason or another show themselves online for fear of being noticed. I have mixed emotions about this because all they are doing is hiding from themselves and lying to others in return. If you have read some of my other posts you will know that I don’t judge and if there is a reason to be something you aren’t online at least make it something there is possibility of you becoming. I believe if you start living the life you are focused on maybe there is a chance you will get the strength through the persona. Use your persona to give you the courage to strive to be your very best and to boost your self-confidence in return.
Most seem to use cyberspace to escape from their reality. If you are unemployed, not physically what you perceive as perfect, married, or even older than you portray yourself, you may be using cyberspace to escape from the stressed of everyday life. Don’t lead people on to make yourself feel good though. Just remember just because you may feel better about yourself for the moment you could be playing with the other person’s emotions and you don’t even realize it. Accept who you are and embrace that, and work on your weaknesses and grow from them. 🙂 If you can play the person online you can live the person in reality. You may not overcome certain things but the better you feel about yourself inside will in time show through on the outside. Love who you are for everything you are and those around you will as well.