So many of us build walls in order to protect us from our past. The problem is that this actually can do the opposite and it can prevent us from moving toward our future. These walls that are meant to be made temporary and not allowed to encompass us entirely. All too often those who built these walls get comfortable behind them. They end up becoming trapped behind that which they built to protect them. It is natural to want to never be hurt again after you survive, but by projecting on to the world the acts of specific people or events all you do is close yourself off from the love and good that you should be allowing yourself. Do not allow yourself to remain the victim forever. Allow yourself the time and then be sure to start healing. The longer you build that wall the thicker it will become and the more difficult to tear down.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
When you live a Positive Life, it is not Black or White. There are many many shades of Grey. You can’t force everyone to see things exactly the same and say you are living a Positive Life. Positivity is varying shades for each of us. Absolutes create Negativity because that is requiring everyone around us to think exactly the same and that is not positive at all. By opening your heart and mind to all the possibilities you encourage yourself to expand your limits and you are able to see things from other angles that you may have missed previously. Don’t be afraid of change and allow yourself to witness the world from the view of those around you. See the Greys of Positivity and open the doors of possibilities.
We should never forget where we came from, even when we grow and move on. Our past is part of our foundation. As long as you are sure to grow from it and not allow it to hold you back from your ultimate future.
We all have a past. Some good times, some bad times, some times we may wish had never happened. It is only when you choose to focus on the negatives that you can’t see each part for what it is. Be sure you remember mistakes you made so that you are able to relate to others whom aren’t perfect either. Your experiences can be empowering for you as well as others who may go through similar obstacles.
The worse thing any of us can do is forget we are all human and we make mistakes. I’m not perfect and try to see everyone as equals. If you make a mistake and you honestly want to learn from it and grow, I will be there to to help you up. I will give you positive encouragement as fertilizer to stimulate your growth but those who forget their mistakes tend to judge others without remembering where they all came from.
Today I write to give you the best update I could have ever imagine writing. My friend Joe got the results of his tests and closure to yet another chapter of his life. I am happy to announce that he has the opportunity to start a new chapter that I truly believe could be his most incredible chapter. He has grown so much during this experience and has truly learned to no longer be the victim of his past and to let go of all that negative energy that can truly fester and become like that Cancer he was battling. I am not saying that it was all Positive thinking or the Power of a good support system and friends/family that care but those things surely gave this man the strengthen and purpose to live and that can never be discounted.
This man was told to get his affairs in order and that he would not live more than 8 months and in 3 months he is now CANCER FREE, and has a new outlook on his life. He has a passion for life and a purpose. This man who just was ready to die and be out of pain is now ready to fight bigger battles and is realizing he was given this chance to do something that will make a difference to so many. I am honored to have been chose to serve with this man during this battle. I now realize my part.
I was brought to him to make him see how the negativity was tearing him apart and that he is the survivor not the victim any longer. When he talked about giving up my mission was to refocus the negative energy and to get him back on target quickly so that he could continued to grow stronger to fight.
We have only started our journey as friends to share this news and to show anyone who will listen that by holding onto negative memories it weakens us and allows us to become susceptible to even more negativity in our lives. Let go us this go from our past that could truly become the Big C of your life. HUGS Everyone!!!
Bad things happen to good people. The worst thing you can do to yourself is assume that everyone out there is going to hurt you just because one person did. The best thing we can chose to do for ourselves is to learn that we have to accept that most people have good intentions but mistakes get made and we take the chance of getting hurt every moment of our lives.
Here is my Positivity Jar that I used last year as a trial. I found the idea on Pinterest and thought it was an interesting novelty. I had gone through significant changes during the previous year and knew I needed something to remind me that I have positives in my life as well.
I decided I was going to start my own “Positivity Challenge” on New Year’s Day. I even posted it on Facebook and decided that every day, no matter how my day was, I had to think of at least one positive thing, write it down, and put it in the jar. This may seem easy to do but not so when your mind is full of primarily negativity.
I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to just find one positive thing in the beginning. I literally had to force myself to really think about. About 6 months in it just got easier and easier and by the end of the year I was writing multiple things daily and there honestly was far less negativity in my thoughts and I felt amazing.
For those of you still living in the world of the negative, I challenge you to try this for one year. If after that year you don’t feel that your thoughts gravitate more toward the positives and less toward negative, I want to hear from you. Are you in?