When you grow up around others that would rather live in victim status rather than surviving their past you easily take on the role of an enabler. You become the one to try daily to empower them to be the best they can be regardless of their past. It is easy to watch yourself cover for these people for their behaviors instead of expecting them to overcome. You think you are doing what is right and what you are supposed to do but unfortunately it can be deadly to an addict for example. Enablers will cover for those they believe can’t defend themselves and in the process they empower them to get worse and worse and not learn to survive. It’s like the saying, ” Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” If you see yourself enabling those around you then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself are you really helping them or hurting them? You could be LOVING THEM TO DEATH!
Each of us has different likes and dislikes. Some of us love the outdoor and anywhere there are trees and water. Others of us are more into the lights of the big city. Then there are others that would prefer sitting in the peace and quiet of a library. Whatever is your happy place, find it and be sure you are visiting as often as you can to bring happiness to your heart and soul.
There is so much hate in the world today. I have this mission to help the world find positivity when I live in a world full of hate around me. So many either hate people because of their skin color, where they came from, how much money they make or even what their political views are. When will we stop living in hate. Remember the quote from Martin Luther King Jr, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” We have to learn to start appreciating the gifts each of us have and stop focusing on the darkness in others. If you don’t turn on the light you will remain in the dark. We have to learn to live through the hate with more positive energy and less negative. Hate thrives on hate so if we stop feeding it then it can’t thrive. Search out the Light in the Dark, it exists if you want to find it.
I don’t care what color your skin is, where your parents came from, or how much money is in your bank account. Every single one of us has a purpose in this world. We are one race, HUMAN. Each of us is diverse in our own special way. There is only one YOU. Embrace each others diversity. As I sit here writing this post, sitting no more than 6 feet from me are two gentlemen playing a very intense game of chess. The color of the their skin, their past traumas, or their status makes no difference. They are two diverse human beings enjoying a strategic game. It makes me smile to watch these two men enjoy a quiet night together. Just to think that 100 years ago these two men would not have been allowed to sit in a public place peacefully. It is amazing to me how far we have come yet I know know we have a very long way to go. I truly hope that when my grandchildren are my age they will be able to not even remember the time when our diversity was a bad thing. I want for them to not have to focus on the thought that any of us were better than the other, just that we are different and that is AMAZING!!
This is the perfect time of year to embrace the spirit of the season and remember that we are never truly alone. It can be tough to lose those we love and we start to feel sorry for ourselves when we think of them being gone. If you believe and embrace the spirits they will fill you with love that even while they were on earth they could never have shown you. Our spirits are stronger than our physical bodies. They are what get us through the tough times and when others past on they are still around us even when we don’t feel their presence. During the Holidays I believe their spirits are even stronger so take a moment and feel their presence and remember the love you had and will always have. Embrace The Spirit so that it can truly embrace you. HUGS
As a mother of children who genetically inherited mental disorders they didn’t ask for or even deserve, I often feel this guilt for the choices I made. I know their pain as though it were my own even though I try to not enable them just because they are battling. They are strong at the core even though they feel they are victims at times. I often think of it like those who speak of the ghost pain after a limb is amputated, As a mother our children are an extension of ourselves and we do actually feel the pain they go through whether it is real to us or not. We will forever be connected to them but have to accept that they are a separate being and have to be allowed to make their own choices and experience their own failures. Love them but don’t love them to death.
We hear so often we have to love ourselves so that we can truly love others and be loved by others. What does it mean to love ourselves however? This means you have to accept that you are the person you are meant to be and that there will be people that don’t appreciate who we are but that is not something you need to focus so much on. Be sure that when you find the person you love that you don’t allow others to tell you that it is wrong for you to be who you love. Love is different for each of us but never forget you wake with yourself and you fall asleep with yourself as well. Love You!