Are you doing what you are meant to do or are you just going through the motions and doing what others tell you that you have to do? So many are ignoring their given talents and just doing what comes easiest instead of extending themselves a bit and being happier and get more out of what they are doing. When are you going to follow you passion and gifts? If you allow yourself to sell yourself short and just get by you will never know exactly what it is you could have become. Never sell yourself short, cause you have unlimited value. Reach for it and make it happen.
Self-Esteem
All posts tagged Self-Esteem
In the recent years I have learned more from my past by acknowledging the impact it has had on me. I know now that by ignoring the past and burying it, all it does is hurt me more. I think of it like this, if you bury something living it does not die without putting up a fight. It will scratch and dig to try to uncover itself and the more you cover it up the angrier it gets. I learned that the best thing is to bring it out and address it by acknowledging how it impacts me today. The moment I started this process, my life has calmed so much and my future has actually been uncovered through it. Is that possible to uncover the past and actually find my future? I can only tell you that all the years I buried and tried to ignore the past that I was not proud of, were full of negative moments. The more I tried to “forget” the past the more it seemed to keep haunting me. Like an angry spirit that only wants to be set free and in the process it haunts others because it is not sure how else to be heard. Healing can only truly begin once you acknowledge those things that you are burying. It’s time for us all to achieve the positive future we were meant to be living. Not allowing the past to hold us down, while trying to drag us into that grave with it. It is time to LIVE and let the past move on.
Have you ever thought about why reptiles shed their skin? When the reptile grows it has to shed it’s skin to allow for the growth. We need to learn that as we ourselves grow we need to shed things in order to continue to grow. If we restrict ourselves by keeping these “skins” we will hurt ourselves or lose time by constraining the natural process of life. Let go of things that do not encourage and assist with your grow. If you have things or people in your life that seem to be holding you back you need to evaluate the relationship and determine if it can be “stretched” or do you just need to let it go and allow yourself that space to grow?
Your life is like a business! You should be working at it every single day and those in your life should be helping you to build the business not to let it fail. Surround yourself with like-minds and be sure you manage your life well! It’s yours to lead and choose who is in it!
There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. We all need to be alone from time to time to get to know ourselves. When we spend time in silence with our own thoughts we truly get to know who we are. If you can be content in your own presence then imagine how you are going to be with someone else. The key is to not allow yourself slip into loneliness. Loneliness is when you are alone and all you can think about is how empty you feel. It is not healthy to feel lonely because it can easily transition into depression. The healthy place to be is when you can sit in a room alone and not feel that you are. You are able to sit in silence and enjoy your thoughts and the silence in itself. Strive to be happy alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself why would anyone else want to be. Think about that.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
A Guilty Conscience can create a negative mind. Ever noticed that when someone has done something or is thinking of doing something they can get very negative. They start projecting that negativity on those around them and will even accuse others of making bad decisions so that they take the focus off of themselves. Why do we feel this is alright to treat others poorly because we have made bad choices of our own? Does it really change the fact that you have made those bad decisions yourself? Take ownership of your poor choices and don’t let your guilty conscience be the reason you become the negative in others lives. Acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibilty and then let that shit go. Your problems aren’t others’ problems. Put your guilty conscience to rest and treat other as you want to be treated.
Are you one of those people that always has to make everyone happy even when you hurt yourself at times? You can’t stand seeing others sad so you give anything it takes to make them happy? It is a great thing that you have a big heart and you want to take care of others but there always needs to be a balance. If you are always giving, in time you have nothing left for yourself. In this process you lose yourself and if you lose yourself then how can anyone who cares about you truly be happy. Making you happy first needs to be priority and those who truly care for you will understand. When they don’t is when you need to be stepping back and evaluating things. Are they that unhappy or are they just selfish?
Have you ever really thought about what a “doormat” is used for? It is a mat placed in an entryway, on which people can wipe their feet on upon entering. when it comes to people however, this term is also used in regards to submissive people who allow others to dominate them. They allow others to walk on them as though they were laid on the ground for others to wipe their feet on. This is not any way to live or be treated. We all have value and worth. To be walked on as though you don’t matter is never a healthy feeling. All too often these people become “doormats” as a result of low self-esteem or trauma in their lives. They believe that they don’t deserve to be treated better. Or they feel it is the only way people will love them. Love yourself and never allow others to treat as though your life isn’t equal to theirs. Take control and demand equal respect from those around you. We each have our purpose on this earth and to be used as a human doormat is not your purpose. Stand tall and be strong. Demand what you truly deserve and never let another person treat you any differently. If someone needs something to walk on, tell them they can buy a DOORMAT at the local hardware store.
I made a huge break through the other day in my healing. I acknowledged a weakness in myself that I believe is going to help me to truly let go of a little more of my past. I have a pattern of allowing people in my life that control me through manipulation. It is typically people who are insecure with themselves and they find by tearing down my self-confidence they gain power over me, hence in return “holding me down”. I realized this is a metaphor for my past and the way I have programmed myself to survive. This I have realized is all tied back to my rape and the act of being physically “held down” during it. I see that I have learned to accept this behavior out of habit. By now acknowledging this about myself, I truly believe this is the next step I need to continue this path of healing that I am on. I refuse to allow myself to be “held down” by others any longer. I know my worth and I know that I have much to share with this world. I will no longer allow the weakness of others to become my weakness. It is an amazing feeling, when you can start to see things in your life clearly and be able to learn the lessons of our past instead of allowing them to HOLD US DOWN!!
Take a minute and look at yourself in the mirror. What feature do you see first? Do you see the good or bad first? Typically on average people will zero in on the things they don’t like about themselves first thing. If this is you, I want you to try something. Before you walk to the mirror think of the parts of yourself that you do like about yourself and tell yourself to focus on that part of you only. Don’t look at any other feature. Now acknowledge what it is about the feature that you are comfortable with. Now you have to think of another feature that you either like or just don’t dislike. Focus immediately on that feature. Repeat the cycle of telling yourself what it is you do like. Now I want you to think of the feature you hate the most about yourself. Go ahead, be real now. What feature do you have that you just hate? Now I want you to stare at that body part. Stare hard at it. Is there anything you can do to change that feature? Anything at all in your immediate power to make it better. I am guessing the answer is no or you would have already done something about it, right? Well I want you to remind yourself that we all have flaws and parts of us we can not change and that we do not like but there are also parts that we do. It is the great balance of life. Accept that you are unique and even your flaws are a gift because they make you different from someone else and that is a positive. If you can’t change it, Embrace it! Every part of you makes you the wonderful person you are and you have to love yourself for all that you are not just pieces of yourself. This will not change overnight but I want you to keep working on this every day. I tell you that you will start to see a difference in how you see yourself in time once you start accepting every part of you for being special to you!
I have a serious question for you. Can you be bought? What amount of money would you sell your soul for? If you honestly have an amount that you were able to come up with, I am very sorry for you. Say No to Greed! There truly is no amount of money that can buy you absolutely everything you could want! Once you received the amount you think would suffice, would only want more. Are you willing to give up family and friends for money? Can money buy those things for you? True Family and Friends that is? I have given up a lot over the years just so that I could keep my own self-worth intact. There is no amount of money in this world that would tempt me to sell myself. I would rather have nothing and have my true family and friends and keep my integrity than to sell myself and be lost. Greed is a horrible negative so be sure you are saying, “No To Greed!”
When money gets mistaken for love we really need to adjust our mindset! Money is great to pay the bills and buy material items but when we think it is more important than our self-respect we have to sit back and adjust our value in ourselves! If we start thinking money equals security even we are lost as well! How much are each of us worth? Are diamonds and furs truly important? Can we take them with us when we die? Will people remember us for them? If those people are only focused on that are they going to be there if that money were to suddenly be gone? With that said make sure we need to be focused on making memories and sharing ourself with those who love us and don’t honestly give a shit about how much we are financially worth but how we make them feel just being in our life! We can’t get love from a piece of paper or plastic! They don’t give hugs and can’t tell us they love us when we are just in need of that!
Do you ever get to points in your life where you feel all you have done until that point was only to prepare you for your future? Some of the people that were in your life were only there to strengthen you and show you what you didn’t want to be. We all have to learn to open our eyes and see those around us for who they are meant to be in our lives. Never feel that just because you are family or have been friends since you were children or your kids are friends with their kids that you “have” to keep those people in your life. If someone is toxic or only brings negative energy you have the right to remove them from your life with or without cause or explanation. Maybe these people surround themselves with others that are toxic and they choose to be around those people. If you feel that they bring that energy into your world via transference, you are perfectly in your right to walk away. We all have one life to live and we may regret some choices we make in a moment but we have to take risks at times to ensure a positive future. Without risk there is no reward. Be comfortable deleting the negative energy from your life in order for you to truly release yourself and make room for the amazing life you were meant to live.
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There is a great project I have seen on YouTube by a few different people that has inspired me. This project is The Beautiful Project and it shows how telling others they are beautiful changes them instantly. There is something beautiful in us all but we often can’t see it until someone else points it out. Be that inspiration to someone everyday. Step outside of you comfort zone and appreciate the beauty in a stranger. Go up to someone you don’t know and compliment them on one thing and tell them how beautiful they are. Imagine how amazing this world would be if we all started focusing on the beauty around us and less of the ugly. We all have beauty to share and when it is acknowledged by others it gives us the permission we need to shine. Give those around you the permission they seek to be the amazing beauty they may be hiding or not seeing for themselves…YET!!
We often get upset with others for taking advantage of us but when you step back and truly assess…You will find that in actuality we have ourselves to blame! If you only continue to give without the self-respect of knowing your worth and not allowing yourself to be used and abused, then how will you be taken advantage of! Be sure you are demanding what you expect in return but never expect more than you are willing to give!
While analyzing my past for the lessons I have learned, I have been empowered by all the things I have overcome and survived. I consciously chose to be a survivor of so much adversity. To others they saw a strong women with drive and motivation even when I doubted that about myself. “Fake it until you make it!” This is important in our lives at times. The key to this is to actually work to “Make It” not just sit back and wait for it! I have learned so much from those around me and from the mistakes that I have made along the way. Please remember that our weakness is the foundation to our strength. When we acknowledge our weaknesses we are able to build on them and grow from them. “How has my Past made me Stronger?” The answer to that is…My Past is my foundation to my future!!!
Our lives are our own to choose how we live them. If you need to tear others down in order to feel you have succeeded, maybe you need to rethink your choices. Build yourself up without using others as human step stools.
Our weaknesses when embraced can empower us. If you allow your weaknesses too much power they can debilitate you. However, if you own them and embrace them you can learn from them and find out how to empower you instead. We tend to allow our inner critic to tell us that we are weak in certain areas so we don’t even try to overcome them. Embrace your weaknesses, analyze them and find out what you can do to strengthen yourself to potentially overcome them. Never allow it to cause you debilitating anxiety that prevents you from becoming what you are meant to be.
I apologize for the abrupt end and the sun in my face. The weed trimmer turned on in the background but the content is here. This one just needed to be done outdoors. Please submit your comments and feedback down below or on my AskVix Page. I look forward to hearing from you, good and bad. HUGS
Fall is a great time of year. Seeing nature change right before your eyes. The trees go from beautiful greens to amazing shades of red, orange and yellow. While admiring the beauty this year I got thinking. It is like we get the opportunity to watch nature shed the past and prepare for the new of Spring. What an amazing feeling to see that it is natural to go through continuous change and by accepting this we learn that we have a new opportunity continuously to improve on ourself, learn lessons from the past, and grow from it. Keep Growing!
Have you ever notice how easy it is to get tethered to our past because it is what we have known. In order to truly let go of our pasts, we need to cut the tethering lines to those parts of our past. The lines that are holding us to a metaphoric dock that could actually sink us if it goes down. Without us even seeing the signs of damage to the foundation that in time could pull us down with it. Don’t just untie them, cut the right at the bow, the bridge, the waist, and finally the stern. Drift from your past then go towards your future, Full Steam Ahead!
When we start to learn to drive it is usually the straightaways that are easiest to maneuver. It’s when we get experience and confidence, that we are able to take on the curves. It is a bit the same with any curves. If you are confident and know what you can handle, you can maneuver around just about anything or anyone. If all you do is take the easy road you will never truly learn what it is to live. If you don’t take a chance on the curves just think about the amazing things you may never get to witness.
Take a Chance and learn to Manage those Curves!
This one is for my fellow Control Freaks of the World…We have to STOP trying to Control The World and focus on Controlling Ourselves. By having to be in control at all times we sabotage our futures. We have to learn to let things work out as they are intended and not have to make them happen. I have had some experiences lately that have opened my eyes to this and I may have sabotaged some potentially great things for my future by doing it. All I can do now is take these experiences and learn from them and in return share this knowledge with you. Having the world in the palm of our hand is not the same as controlling it. We need to focus our minds on what it is we truly desire and allow that to happen and not force it to happen. Key here is to “Allow” your future!!
When it comes to relationships I think sometimes we want someone to like us so badly, we become something completely opposite of who we are. Then what we often realize is, we run that person off because we are now not who that person was initially attracted to. Once you cross that line it is very hard to take that back. All we can do is take a step back, look at what has happened and learn from that and say to ourself, “I am me and I need to stop trying so hard to make things happen. You are not always able to control the outcome. Accept that and enjoy the ride. No matter how quick or slow it is.” I hope that by acknowledging the mistake you can resurrect the real you and remember in the future that you can not Control The World…You Can Only Control Yourself!!
Here is my Positivity Jar that I used last year as a trial. I found the idea on Pinterest and thought it was an interesting novelty. I had gone through significant changes during the previous year and knew I needed something to remind me that I have positives in my life as well.
I decided I was going to start my own “Positivity Challenge” on New Year’s Day. I even posted it on Facebook and decided that every day, no matter how my day was, I had to think of at least one positive thing, write it down, and put it in the jar. This may seem easy to do but not so when your mind is full of primarily negativity.
I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to just find one positive thing in the beginning. I literally had to force myself to really think about. About 6 months in it just got easier and easier and by the end of the year I was writing multiple things daily and there honestly was far less negativity in my thoughts and I felt amazing.
For those of you still living in the world of the negative, I challenge you to try this for one year. If after that year you don’t feel that your thoughts gravitate more toward the positives and less toward negative, I want to hear from you. Are you in?
We each have our own path we must take to our future. Some of use take the long winding uphill path with many obstacles along the way. Others take the straight and narrow and uncluttered path. Who’s to say which path is the “Right” Path. We all have our lessons to be learned maybe along the more difficult path we learn more about ourselves that will be necessary for a more prosperous future or maybe it will lead us to another path we had never even considered for ourselves.
Just because I don’t chose the same path you chose does not make either of our paths worse or better than the other’s it is just different and unique to us individually. We all have our own unique reasons for living. I won’t judge your choices and don’t judge mine. What seems to work for someone today may not work for them forever and we all need to respect that and accept each of us for our own choices. With support ever choice can be a good one. It is when we are surrounded by nothing but negativity and discouragement that we give up on ourselves and start second guessing ourselves. I may make choices for me that are not right for you but in the end I live my life and you live yours.
Each of us have Our Paths and we have to support and encourage one another in order to reach our true potential. If you aren’t getting the support you truly have to re-evaluate the negatives in your life and determine if they are hurting you or need to be addressed and built on to become your positive. Chose Your Own Path and stand by that which you firmly believe is the right one for the future you want for yourself not for someone else.
While sitting in a Senior High School Class listening to a couple guest speakers talk about their son being molested by their babysitter, I had an unusual feeling of understanding come over me that I somehow knew the pain and confusion this child must have been feeling. Feeling that no one understood what you were dealing with and the deep ache to rid yourself of an unknown secret. I really didn’t know why I had these feelings, but I sat in that classroom almost in tears and amazement on how these people were talking so freely about this traumatic event in their son’s life. Luckily this was the last real class I had that day because I was not able to focus on anything but the words these people talked about and how they were very clear that this is not the “Victims” fault that these people do these things. They also explained that if we knew anyone who had or was being hurt by someone we needed to speak up and not allow them to continue to make that person or yourself the victim any longer.
I walked around in a fog most of the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. I had trouble going to sleep that night with strange thoughts running through my head. Once I finally fell asleep I was restless and the next thing I knew I awoke screaming, “NO! STOP! YOU’RE HURTING ME!” The memories came flooding back to a horrible night in my life that I had somehow blocked from my subconscious. It was now back and I was never going to forget it again.
I had been molested with inappropriate touching and actions by a man close to our family. He made threats that I would be hurt or that my family wouldn’t believe me if I were to even tell them. This went on for several years and I just allowed this man to treat me like my feelings meant nothing. At age 12, I finally got the courage to stand up to this man and tell him “NO” and that I wouldn’t allow him to treat me like that ever again.
I thought that everything was going to stop and that I had finally been able to take control until I went to sleep that night. I awoke to the most excruciating pain and my head being forced into a pillow. I was on my stomach and I couldn’t move and at times could barely breathe while this grown man raped me and said horrible words to me while shoving my head further in the pillow so I couldn’t scream. I must have blacked out because I don’t remember anything after that.
From that day forward I was a different young lady. I went from being very outgoing and high spirited, to a tomboy and guarded. I wore clothing that didn’t flatter me as to not attract males. I became just one of the guys in my group of friends and started pushing those who were close to me away so that I couldn’t be hurt like that again. I didn’t speak of that night because I just remembered him telling me that no one was going to believe me. I eventually completely blocked it from my memory as a way to protect myself. I also felt there must have been something I had done to deserve this and that maybe I done something to encourage him. He made me a victim and by allowing that I empowered him.
This all came back to me 5 years later, yes I blocked this horrible event out of my memory for 5 years and all it did was tear me up from the inside and created insecurities and depression that I could not truly understand. I had thoughts of suicide and the feeling of just being completely alone and misunderstood. Once this all came back to me I decided I would never keep silent about it again. I pulled myself together and wrote it all down in an anonymous letter to the class, we had a drop box that was in the room that we could put questions in and the class would give their opinions and advice. I didn’t hold anything back in that letter, well nothing but my name of course. I asked if they could help me to determine what I needed to do next to overcome this and how I could stop from being this victim and now take control of my life, once again.
When I got to school that morning I dropped the letter in the box while no one was in the class and proceeded with my school day feeling a bit of the burden I had carried so long, lifted from me. When I arrived to class that afternoon the teacher was standing at the front of the class with his stool and asked everyone to please take their seats. I knew what was about to happen. We all sat down and he sat on his stool and proceeded to tell the class that he had something very serious to read to them and that their help was very important. I gathered all the strength I had in me and listened to the words read back to me that I had written that morning. It all truly became reality at that moment. There was no going back.
After the teacher read the letter he looked to the class for their words of wisdom and guidance. I continued to not show signs that the letter was from me and I even asked and answered questions. These students were so helpful and they didn’t even know that the person who wrote those words was me. We discussed how this is something that is history and by continuing to allow it to fester was only hurting me and holding me back from my future. They talked about how this is not something I did or could have stopped. We discussed that my taking a stand was a good thing even though it caused this to escalate. This was the man’s burden to bare not mine.
After class let out I walked up to the front of the class to talk to the teacher as I did every day. He looked at me and asked me how I thought he and the class had done with the letter. I responded, “You did great!” He said, “You think so?” I looked him in the eyes and said, “It helped a lot!” His eyes changed and started to fill with tears. “I didn’t know,” he said, with the tears starting to flow. I looked at him and said, “I know that is why you helped so much.” If he would have known it was me he may have not been so open about his responses. He gave me a hug and for the first time in many years felt the warmth in another person’s hugs without being scared.
I will leave this story with this for now and will continue with stories that came from me deciding that I was not going to continue to be the victim of this man and that I would never be silent about it again. All being silent did was hurt me and the negativity of the secret was like a cancer in me and was just spreading and once I refused to allow it anymore my life changed. I won’t tell you it was always perfect after that day but it was the strength that I pulled from and continue to pull from today when things get rough.
In closing, don’t read this post and pity me for what happened in my past. My past is my foundation and what made me the strong independent person I am today. I want to share this story so that maybe I can reach others that are going through, or have gone through, similar times. Maybe, just maybe, you can see that you are not alone and you too can find the strength to be “THE VICTIM NO MORE”.
~Vix~
Have you ever thought that the pain and hurt we feel due to past relationships gone wrong or actually being hurt by others in our past are some what like what they call “Phantom Pains” in those that have lost limbs? I know this sounds a little far fetch but let’s think about this. If you were in a relationship and you were hurt and you severed those ties, isn’t it similar in a strange way? When you lose a limb you have extreme pain and then loss and then it is said that you experience Phantom pains in the limb. So is it so strange to have similar pains when you sever relationship ties? You have had potentially extreme pain and you have now lost a part of your life that you felt was another limb of sorts. After you are away and you start realizing you are living without that part of your life you tend to relive that pain from time to time and may even project that on to others in your present. You can start to react to this “Phantom Pain” by treating those around you as you would like to have handled the past. You need to acknowledge that the Past is exactly that and that your future does not include that “limb” so now you have to LIVE your new life and not allow what caused you to lose that “limb” to impact you so that you don’t potential lose future “limbs” for the same reasons. You make better choices, you look deeper inside yourself to know what is hurting you before it becomes so bad that you can go back and reverse the damages done. I know this analogy is not perfect but I do see very similar traits in how we analyze the loss and I thought maybe, just maybe, this would help others to remember that when we lose something there is a purpose and now is the time to stop being the victim of it and realize that you have a new life that you need to find your purpose in and love yourself in. Don’t allow the problem to spread to your future and grow as a person from the mistakes that you may have made. I hope this helps you to look at your current relationships a little deeper and make sure that you are treating them as something. Stop being the victim of what others may have done to you and learn to live from those experiences.
I have been in cyberspace for a few years now and I have seen some very interesting things in human behavior during that time. People tend to get behind the keyboard and become something opposite of who they are in the “Real” World. It is interesting to me that these people will portray themselves like something completely opposite of who they are and then when the time comes to actually meet them they get upset with you if you get upset that they are not as I say “advertised”.
Have you noticed that we escape to Cyberspace for virtual reality when we don’t want to accept reality? I have talked to a lot of people. Everyone has their different reasons for being online. I don’t judge, question, or expect anything more than for those who talk to me to just be what they are comfortable with. If you are there to escape from your reality that is fine. If you are there to be that persona you cannot seem to be in reality then I completely understand. The only thing I ever ask is that they are understanding enough to respect that those they talk to can be impacted by their actions.
I have talked to some that use fake pictures, old pictures, or won’t even show a picture at all. These people often either have low self-esteem or can’t for one reason or another show themselves online for fear of being noticed. I have mixed emotions about this because all they are doing is hiding from themselves and lying to others in return. If you have read some of my other posts you will know that I don’t judge and if there is a reason to be something you aren’t online at least make it something there is possibility of you becoming. I believe if you start living the life you are focused on maybe there is a chance you will get the strength through the persona. Use your persona to give you the courage to strive to be your very best and to boost your self-confidence in return.
Most seem to use cyberspace to escape from their reality. If you are unemployed, not physically what you perceive as perfect, married, or even older than you portray yourself, you may be using cyberspace to escape from the stressed of everyday life. Don’t lead people on to make yourself feel good though. Just remember just because you may feel better about yourself for the moment you could be playing with the other person’s emotions and you don’t even realize it. Accept who you are and embrace that, and work on your weaknesses and grow from them. 🙂 If you can play the person online you can live the person in reality. You may not overcome certain things but the better you feel about yourself inside will in time show through on the outside. Love who you are for everything you are and those around you will as well.
This topic is close to my heart. I feel very strongly about the need for Security and Independence in one’s life. If you are always thinking you are not a good enough for those around you all you do in return is tear down the others in order to boost yourself and we all know that isn’t healthy. You have to dig deep inside you when you are criticizing other around you or controlling them by making them feel guilty for wanting things you may not.
I am often amazed by people who are insecure. You wouldn’t expect most of them to have anything to be insecure about. Some are very attractive, have great jobs, are very social, have great families, etc. what in the world would they have to be insecure about you may think. Insecurities cannot always be explained. We all see ourselves differently when we look in the mirror. It could be our pasts, our choices we have made that we aren’t happy about, our unexplored dreams lost, and many more things. We all have our wants and desires for ourselves that we let become insecurities at times. The key is to not allow those to impact us negatively. Take those insecurities and grow from them and learn about ourselves deeper. Never allow your insecurities to be an excuse to tear others down or control those around you so that you feel more in control. We all need our independence and self-identity. If you feel that it takes someone else or others to do this for you then you truly need to take step back and reassess yourself. By allowing this to impact those around you will only tear apart your relationships and in the end it could actually become a self-fulfilled prophecy. If you are accusing others of maybe cheating or wanting a life without you more, then in time if you continue to plant that seed when that other person finally has enough that prophecy will be fulfilled and you will very likely be left alone and you will try to blame that person when in reality you need to look at yourself and realize you pushed them to it.
Take time for you to find yourself and love yourself. Never have people in your life because you can’t live without them. You should have people in your life because they enhance your life and being around them just increases your happiness. When we make people our “everything” we end up putting way to much pressure on that person to be perfect and in time they will not feel they can ever really be what you expect. Be happy with who you are and always find your positives in your life, because very often things can be far worse than they are today and if you take a moment to analyze your situation you will realize that there are many positives to be thankful for. Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.
In life we all wear masks to hide behind until we find what we are really looking for, but in doing this we tend to hide our true selves and prevent what we are looking for from finding us. If you want things in life you have to not be afraid to be yourself and go through many others that haven’t found the strength to do the same. Maybe just being real and putting down the masks you can show those looking for you what they could have easily just walked right past. Don’t be afraid of who you are or not being enough for anyone else. The one that has been searching for you will want the real you, not a you that you have created to hide behind.
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