There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. We all need to be alone from time to time to get to know ourselves. When we spend time in silence with our own thoughts we truly get to know who we are. If you can be content in your own presence then imagine how you are going to be with someone else. The key is to not allow yourself slip into loneliness. Loneliness is when you are alone and all you can think about is how empty you feel. It is not healthy to feel lonely because it can easily transition into depression. The healthy place to be is when you can sit in a room alone and not feel that you are. You are able to sit in silence and enjoy your thoughts and the silence in itself. Strive to be happy alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself why would anyone else want to be. Think about that.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
A Guilty Conscience can create a negative mind. Ever noticed that when someone has done something or is thinking of doing something they can get very negative. They start projecting that negativity on those around them and will even accuse others of making bad decisions so that they take the focus off of themselves. Why do we feel this is alright to treat others poorly because we have made bad choices of our own? Does it really change the fact that you have made those bad decisions yourself? Take ownership of your poor choices and don’t let your guilty conscience be the reason you become the negative in others lives. Acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibilty and then let that shit go. Your problems aren’t others’ problems. Put your guilty conscience to rest and treat other as you want to be treated.
Are you one of those people that always has to make everyone happy even when you hurt yourself at times? You can’t stand seeing others sad so you give anything it takes to make them happy? It is a great thing that you have a big heart and you want to take care of others but there always needs to be a balance. If you are always giving, in time you have nothing left for yourself. In this process you lose yourself and if you lose yourself then how can anyone who cares about you truly be happy. Making you happy first needs to be priority and those who truly care for you will understand. When they don’t is when you need to be stepping back and evaluating things. Are they that unhappy or are they just selfish?
Have you ever really thought about what a “doormat” is used for? It is a mat placed in an entryway, on which people can wipe their feet on upon entering. when it comes to people however, this term is also used in regards to submissive people who allow others to dominate them. They allow others to walk on them as though they were laid on the ground for others to wipe their feet on. This is not any way to live or be treated. We all have value and worth. To be walked on as though you don’t matter is never a healthy feeling. All too often these people become “doormats” as a result of low self-esteem or trauma in their lives. They believe that they don’t deserve to be treated better. Or they feel it is the only way people will love them. Love yourself and never allow others to treat as though your life isn’t equal to theirs. Take control and demand equal respect from those around you. We each have our purpose on this earth and to be used as a human doormat is not your purpose. Stand tall and be strong. Demand what you truly deserve and never let another person treat you any differently. If someone needs something to walk on, tell them they can buy a DOORMAT at the local hardware store.