Your life is like a business! You should be working at it every single day and those in your life should be helping you to build the business not to let it fail. Surround yourself with like-minds and be sure you manage your life well! It’s yours to lead and choose who is in it!
There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. We all need to be alone from time to time to get to know ourselves. When we spend time in silence with our own thoughts we truly get to know who we are. If you can be content in your own presence then imagine how you are going to be with someone else. The key is to not allow yourself slip into loneliness. Loneliness is when you are alone and all you can think about is how empty you feel. It is not healthy to feel lonely because it can easily transition into depression. The healthy place to be is when you can sit in a room alone and not feel that you are. You are able to sit in silence and enjoy your thoughts and the silence in itself. Strive to be happy alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself why would anyone else want to be. Think about that.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
There are various level of friendship and they do not all have to same levels of commitment or caring at all. If you meet someone and you have an instant connection with that person you may feel that it is because they are meant to be your friend forever. This is not always the case. Sometimes that energy you initially feel is the pull of the negative and positive energy of two people. This could be a good thing and in the end it could actually turn out that that was a sign of two energies fighting to find their strength and power source. A negative can drain a positive and a positve can power a negative. We just never truly know until we give the friendship the time it needs to work through all the highs and lows. A positive energy is naturally drawn to the negatives. It is their mission to give power to those in need but they can over do it at times and find themselves in a very dark negative relationship and then not know how to get away and regain their positive energy. Negativity is like a Cancer and can spread throughout us and then to those near us if not addressed.
Always take the proper amount of time to evaluate every friendship you have. There is nothing wrong with taking a stand for yourself and implementing firm boundaries. These boundaries are necessary at times to keep you grounded and of clear mind in order to make sure that you have the right people in your life. Our true friends will understand and have boundaries of their own.
People come in and out of our lives and some even return then may leave again. It is life and you need to acknowledge what they were brought to teach you. It doesn’t matter if it was a short time or many years, just appreciate what was received in the time you were given.
Happy Early Thanksgiving Everyone! I am very thankful to have been given the opportunity to give my guidance and advice every week through this blog and that you all come back to check in. I truly hope you all enjoy the posts as much as I enjoy writing and producing them. Every post comes from my heart and is intended to help at least one person in some way. I look forward to continuing the expansion of this project and continuing to help people. Enjoy your day of giving thanks and remember you don’t need to wait for this day every year to look around you and see how you can make small impacts in your life and those around you. Every day is a day of giving thanks for being alive and for having another day to work to become the best person you can be. THANK YOU for the support these last 2 years and I hope I mean as much to each of you as you do to me. HUGS
When I think of Tough Love, I tend to wonder how can you be tough on someone you truly love? It isn’t easy to not want to help those you care about and watch them struggle when you have the means to help. How do you help them without actually enabling them?
Think about our kids and how we tend to want the best for them. If we continuously give to them without any expectations they aren’t able to learn how to fend for themselves. Now if we decide to teach them how to achieve their own goals we then give them the tools they need to succeed in life away from us. As parents we learned that we aren’t perfect ourselves but we want to give to our children what we didn’t have. In doing this there are times that we actually hurt them more than help them. If you can honestly say you have guided your children and given them the proper tools and they still choose the wrong path then it is definitely time to step back and let them figure things out for themselves. However, if you have only expected them to grow up and not shown by example how are they truly supposed to learn. Children are followers until they are shown how to be leaders. By first showing unconditional love, they still know they are loved when you are forced to implement tough love.
This same philosophy goes for those around us. If we continue to tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear, how are they going to grow and better themselves when they are perpetuating the same behaviors over and over. Tough love isn’t easy but again when your friends and family know you love them unconditionally, they will know you only say what you say out of the kindness of your heart.
Just remember that in order to implement Tough Love, you first have to show Unconditional Love. Otherwise you are just being selfish and controlling and that doesn’t teach anyone anything positive in the end.
Get ready for it…
I’m working to take VixTalks to Video. I will be giving advice to letters I receive here on my AskVix Page, Facebook, email and of course Live!!
Need a Pep Talk?
Need Motivation to take life to the next level?
Have questions about Special Needs Advocacy?
Have relationship questions?
Want to expand your sex life?
Just need a friend’s advice about everyday life?
I’m ready to “Talk,” so bring on the questions and we’ll take them Live or if you prefer, in private messages. Let’s have fun and find that Positivity and Inspiration we all need. HUGS ~Vix~
We all start out life a larva and continue to grow. We live our lives as a caterpillar for many years to find who we are inside before we then wrap ourselves in a cocoon of our own love. When we emerge we are each a Beautiful Butterfly! You have to love yourself first!
I am asked quite often if I am a religious person. I am spiritual more than religious. I believe I have a reason for being here and there is a higher guiding force that I have no concept truly of. I know that things happen in our lives that we have no control of and we need to learn from them, the good and the not so good. We all have our own ways of acknowledging this force and I will never tell you or anyone else what the best way to live your life is for you. I believe that my thoughts are heard and that if I take the time to actually listen, then they are guided and often answered. You may call this prayer but whatever label you put on it it is my way. I know that I am heard regardless off being in a specific building with others listening to people who have words of wisdom to share regularly. What is spoken is up to you to translate. Every person in that building can hear the exact same words but each take away a little different meaning.
Don’t judge others for their beliefs. We all process things differently and if organized religion is your way to tap into your higher force, you have my support and encouragement. All I ask in return is that you respect my choice to believe that my higher power hears me just as well as yours. I can be out in nature at the river or the ocean or just sitting in my room and if I take the time to ask for guidance and then wait and listen for the answer,I will get it. It may not be immediate but it will happen.
This topic was prompted by a conversation that my girlfriend and I were having the other night. We hear about men having blue balls when they get worked up sexually and then are not given an outlet to relieve themselves right? Is this really something that only happens to men? I really don’t believe it is. I think women get what I guess I will call “Red Ovaries” as we get hot and ready to explode. Urban Dictionary calls it “The Blue Bean”:)
I mean come on now, I know some females that are passionate and get aroused the same as men and it may not be “painful” like the pressure in a man’s testicles but let me tell you from experience that if a woman gets herself really worked up it is painful and very emotional. Haha Those women that actually allow themselves to enjoy the release of an orgasm who are brought right to the edge and not given the release, I have witnessed that it is very emotional and can even be painful in I am sure a different way.
I am no doctor so I am not sure what the medical reason is but I thought it was kind of interesting when my girlfriend and I were talking and she made a comment that she gets left hot and bothered like a male and I realized it wasn’t just my inner Vixen, it is other women as well. This is not only the “The Blue Bean” as described in Urban Dictionary cause that is only over stimulation of the clitoris without release, which in itself is damn painful. The feeling I am referring to is actually internal in the area of the Ovaries hence “Red Ovaries!”
So, guys it’s not just you, sorry!! You just are more visual than we are so you get worked up a bit easier than we do. You have to take the time to stimulate our minds and our bodies. When you do…Oh My!!!
Have you taken time recently to listen to your inner voice? I believe we all have the power within us to solve problems that are thrown our way but we often allow pride, or guilt or stubbornness to get in the way of finding our answers.
Not all the answers are what we think we want to hear either. I have started to trust my instincts, or what I call my Inner Voice, much more these das. In doing so I feel so much more at peace. I am not saying it is perfect cause hey I still second guess myself, but more times than not when I do the outcome is not the best one.
I recently listened to the book, “Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within” by Janet Conner. I was overwhelmed at times during the book how much of what she was saying in the book is the practice I had learned to do with my blog. She recommends writing daily but that is more in Journal format. I have done similar work with writing thoughts I have inside me on this blog and I am amazed at time when I surrender myself to the words how easily they come. At times I am not sure where the words are truly coming from.
Open yourself up to You Own Inner Voice and see what they have been trying to tell you. You may be amazed like I was on the insight you have buried and often blocked inside you. We are all created equal so we all have these gifts that sometimes we just have to allow ourselves to accept.