When I think of Tough Love, I tend to wonder how can you be tough on someone you truly love? It isn’t easy to not want to help those you care about and watch them struggle when you have the means to help. How do you help them without actually enabling them?
Think about our kids and how we tend to want the best for them. If we continuously give to them without any expectations they aren’t able to learn how to fend for themselves. Now if we decide to teach them how to achieve their own goals we then give them the tools they need to succeed in life away from us. As parents we learned that we aren’t perfect ourselves but we want to give to our children what we didn’t have. In doing this there are times that we actually hurt them more than help them. If you can honestly say you have guided your children and given them the proper tools and they still choose the wrong path then it is definitely time to step back and let them figure things out for themselves. However, if you have only expected them to grow up and not shown by example how are they truly supposed to learn. Children are followers until they are shown how to be leaders. By first showing unconditional love, they still know they are loved when you are forced to implement tough love.
This same philosophy goes for those around us. If we continue to tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear, how are they going to grow and better themselves when they are perpetuating the same behaviors over and over. Tough love isn’t easy but again when your friends and family know you love them unconditionally, they will know you only say what you say out of the kindness of your heart.
Just remember that in order to implement Tough Love, you first have to show Unconditional Love. Otherwise you are just being selfish and controlling and that doesn’t teach anyone anything positive in the end.
How does Anxiety in Our Society effect our day to day lives? I think about this often with both my children having anxiety based disabilities. We have so much going on in our lives that I see that we allow anxiety to become a greater impact than it really should.
Kids have higher anxiety in school because our system is setup to make everyone the same instead of the individuals they are. With larger class sizes, teachers are forced to streamline course outlines and this just leaves those who don’t learn in that particular way struggling and in return their anxiety levels are increased and then the potential of anxiety based disorders is increased. We have seen a rise in suicide and attempted suicides year over year. Depression and Anxiety are serious and should not be taken lightly. Our children need to be supplied with the tools necessary to manage these times without feeling it is unmanageable and choose to end their lives as what they believe is their only option. Why aren’t coping skills and stress relief techniques part of curriculum also?
We focus so much on academics and extracurriculars that our children become overwhelmed with, what they feel, is expected from them and what they can actually achieve. We as a society need to work more on focusing on the individuals ànd stop judging based on what the majority believes to be the “norm”. What would the world be like if we were all doctors,or lawyers,or astronauts, etc? There is a place for us all and that doesn’t make any of us necessarily “better” than others. We all have our strengths and our purpose. By judging those that aren’t like us we are creativity a society in which those who are creative and musical may feel they aren’t as important as say a doctor who saves ànd patient. When in reality medicine is a science and is not perfect either.
I want a world where we all are free of anxiety and we are able to support one another no matter what we choose as our path. Our children need to accept one another and learn to start working together to build a world where they accept each other for their individual strengths and stop seeing their weaknesses as character flaws. If we teach our children to see one another as our equals and just because one is great in math and the other loves art doesn’t make either better or worse. We are just all as different as our fingerprint. We need to accept that and learn to live in a positive manner where we fight off anxiety because we know that with a clear mind and low stress level we can tackle obstacles and address them in the manner in which is right for us.
Bullying is something that has touched each and everyone of us in some way. There have been moments where I have heard people in authority say, “Oh those students are the “Good Type” so I am sure they couldn’t possibly be involved.” We all have witnessed that even the “Good Type” are capable of this behavior and often get away with it more often because others don’t see that they could do it.
All of us have either known bullies, witnessed them, or have been the bullies ourselves. Now is the time to take a stand against this behavior, work to right all the wrongs and help change the future. Share this video and let’s do our part to stop this behavior from continuing to grow. Fight Back Against Bullying!!