New Beginnings happen anytime. Doesn’t always just mean a total restart. I look at Mondays as the opportunity as a weekly New Beginning. It is the day where I can put all the negativity of last week behind me and focus on the positives of my future. Don’t allow the negativity around you to take hold. Set one day a week, whatever day you choose, to be your day to begin a new. If you want it can be every morning if you like even. It’s Your Choice! Make It Happen!
When you grow up around others that would rather live in victim status rather than surviving their past you easily take on the role of an enabler. You become the one to try daily to empower them to be the best they can be regardless of their past. It is easy to watch yourself cover for these people for their behaviors instead of expecting them to overcome. You think you are doing what is right and what you are supposed to do but unfortunately it can be deadly to an addict for example. Enablers will cover for those they believe can’t defend themselves and in the process they empower them to get worse and worse and not learn to survive. It’s like the saying, ” Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” If you see yourself enabling those around you then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself are you really helping them or hurting them? You could be LOVING THEM TO DEATH!
Are you doing what you are meant to do or are you just going through the motions and doing what others tell you that you have to do? So many are ignoring their given talents and just doing what comes easiest instead of extending themselves a bit and being happier and get more out of what they are doing. When are you going to follow you passion and gifts? If you allow yourself to sell yourself short and just get by you will never know exactly what it is you could have become. Never sell yourself short, cause you have unlimited value. Reach for it and make it happen.
Each of us has different likes and dislikes. Some of us love the outdoor and anywhere there are trees and water. Others of us are more into the lights of the big city. Then there are others that would prefer sitting in the peace and quiet of a library. Whatever is your happy place, find it and be sure you are visiting as often as you can to bring happiness to your heart and soul.
When will the time come when you say to yourself, “I acknowledge the past, however, I accept my present for what it is. My past will not dictate my future!” The moment you can do this, is the moment you will final loosen those chains that have held you back. We cannot truly move forward without acknowledging the past. Stop reliving it over and over. Once you learn the lessons you were meant to learn step out of those chains and be free to make the future you truly desire and were meant to live.
There are always going to be those people around that I call the chronic complainers. They have to go against the majority just to stand out and get attention. They would complain if they were to get everything they asked for. They are just starved for attention and they can’t just be satisfied with things as they are. You will not be able to change these people and the best way to handle them is to know that is who they are and just don’t engage or feed their complaints. Unfortunately, these types just carry negativity around with them and if you allow them to, they will bring that negativity to your life as well. Don’t enable them by feeding into their complaining. Just walk away and find a more peaceful situation.
What does tolerance mean? Why don’t more of us have the ability to tolerate? Tolerance is the ability to tolerate or accept things we don’t necessarily agree with. I would much rather be learning to tolerate things I cannot change about others and accepting everyone for their uniqueness. I have learned so much from people who have different views than my own. They may not change your views but they can definitely give a new prospective. Open your eyes and learn from the world around you and be tolerant of those that may not agree with you or them with you. As I say, “Agree to Disagree!”
In the recent years I have learned more from my past by acknowledging the impact it has had on me. I know now that by ignoring the past and burying it, all it does is hurt me more. I think of it like this, if you bury something living it does not die without putting up a fight. It will scratch and dig to try to uncover itself and the more you cover it up the angrier it gets. I learned that the best thing is to bring it out and address it by acknowledging how it impacts me today. The moment I started this process, my life has calmed so much and my future has actually been uncovered through it. Is that possible to uncover the past and actually find my future? I can only tell you that all the years I buried and tried to ignore the past that I was not proud of, were full of negative moments. The more I tried to “forget” the past the more it seemed to keep haunting me. Like an angry spirit that only wants to be set free and in the process it haunts others because it is not sure how else to be heard. Healing can only truly begin once you acknowledge those things that you are burying. It’s time for us all to achieve the positive future we were meant to be living. Not allowing the past to hold us down, while trying to drag us into that grave with it. It is time to LIVE and let the past move on.
Have you ever thought about why reptiles shed their skin? When the reptile grows it has to shed it’s skin to allow for the growth. We need to learn that as we ourselves grow we need to shed things in order to continue to grow. If we restrict ourselves by keeping these “skins” we will hurt ourselves or lose time by constraining the natural process of life. Let go of things that do not encourage and assist with your grow. If you have things or people in your life that seem to be holding you back you need to evaluate the relationship and determine if it can be “stretched” or do you just need to let it go and allow yourself that space to grow?
There is so much hate in the world today. I have this mission to help the world find positivity when I live in a world full of hate around me. So many either hate people because of their skin color, where they came from, how much money they make or even what their political views are. When will we stop living in hate. Remember the quote from Martin Luther King Jr, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” We have to learn to start appreciating the gifts each of us have and stop focusing on the darkness in others. If you don’t turn on the light you will remain in the dark. We have to learn to live through the hate with more positive energy and less negative. Hate thrives on hate so if we stop feeding it then it can’t thrive. Search out the Light in the Dark, it exists if you want to find it.
I don’t care what color your skin is, where your parents came from, or how much money is in your bank account. Every single one of us has a purpose in this world. We are one race, HUMAN. Each of us is diverse in our own special way. There is only one YOU. Embrace each others diversity. As I sit here writing this post, sitting no more than 6 feet from me are two gentlemen playing a very intense game of chess. The color of the their skin, their past traumas, or their status makes no difference. They are two diverse human beings enjoying a strategic game. It makes me smile to watch these two men enjoy a quiet night together. Just to think that 100 years ago these two men would not have been allowed to sit in a public place peacefully. It is amazing to me how far we have come yet I know know we have a very long way to go. I truly hope that when my grandchildren are my age they will be able to not even remember the time when our diversity was a bad thing. I want for them to not have to focus on the thought that any of us were better than the other, just that we are different and that is AMAZING!!
This is the perfect time of year to embrace the spirit of the season and remember that we are never truly alone. It can be tough to lose those we love and we start to feel sorry for ourselves when we think of them being gone. If you believe and embrace the spirits they will fill you with love that even while they were on earth they could never have shown you. Our spirits are stronger than our physical bodies. They are what get us through the tough times and when others past on they are still around us even when we don’t feel their presence. During the Holidays I believe their spirits are even stronger so take a moment and feel their presence and remember the love you had and will always have. Embrace The Spirit so that it can truly embrace you. HUGS
We have so much to learn from the stories of others. If you haven’t told yours there is someone out there waiting to hear it. We may believe we are alone and that no one would possibly want to hear our story but in actually there are others going through things that are similar to what we have and they can learn from us. If you are keeping your story secret you are hurting yourself as things that get buried that are still alive will only dig their way out and often won’t be happy for being buried alive. We have so much to learn from each other and learning from others stories can potentially help us to uncover our own.
As a mother of children who genetically inherited mental disorders they didn’t ask for or even deserve, I often feel this guilt for the choices I made. I know their pain as though it were my own even though I try to not enable them just because they are battling. They are strong at the core even though they feel they are victims at times. I often think of it like those who speak of the ghost pain after a limb is amputated, As a mother our children are an extension of ourselves and we do actually feel the pain they go through whether it is real to us or not. We will forever be connected to them but have to accept that they are a separate being and have to be allowed to make their own choices and experience their own failures. Love them but don’t love them to death.
I choose to live for the future. The past is only part of who I am and it is for sure a huge part of my foundation. However, it is not all of me and I will not allow it to consume me. We all have to acknowledge our past and accept our present but our future is where we are headed so why get stuck in the minutia of the negativity of the past that cannot be changed. We have a future and it is up to us how amazing it is.
Think of the ups and downs of life like heart beats. Some are stronger than others and during happiness it is different than during sadness but there is still a beat. We need the peaks and valleys or else we flat line. Even though we don’t like the low moments we have to remind ourselves that it is only a moment. Next thing you know life bounces back up and you are on your way up again. This is the heartbeat of life and without it we are dead. Enjoy the beats and blimps.
So many of us build walls in order to protect us from our past. The problem is that this actually can do the opposite and it can prevent us from moving toward our future. These walls that are meant to be made temporary and not allowed to encompass us entirely. All too often those who built these walls get comfortable behind them. They end up becoming trapped behind that which they built to protect them. It is natural to want to never be hurt again after you survive, but by projecting on to the world the acts of specific people or events all you do is close yourself off from the love and good that you should be allowing yourself. Do not allow yourself to remain the victim forever. Allow yourself the time and then be sure to start healing. The longer you build that wall the thicker it will become and the more difficult to tear down.
Why when trauma happens to us do we continue to carry the burden of these acts for a lifetime? Why can’t we acknowledge these acts as what they are, the past and it can’t be changed? The images continue to pop in our heads, we have horrible nightmares, we shut ourselves off from others, and in the worst cases we take our own lives. Why? Why do we insist on carrying the burden of the past? Sometimes this is because we don’t believe we have another option. Other times is because we don’t speak out for fear of having to relive the acts. Let me tell you from my own personal experience, carrying the burden hurts us worse than the acts did. In most cases it tears us down mentally and then our inner voice tries to fight back and get our attention. Then the bad thoughts start setting in. Regardless of the acts and the trauma, it is very important to give your inner voice an outlet. Stop carrying the burden of the past that you cannot possibly change. Speak out and learn the lessons from the past and make sure it never happens again. Maybe you can even save these acts from happening to others because you were able to make others aware of the possibilities. Fight back and stop carrying the burdens of your past.
I have written about my history and the fact that I was molested and then raped when I was young. I have not spoken about how that man stole my soul as it was as a young girl. That very first incident changed my life forever and this man stole that from me. Do we as a society think about this as much as we think about the acts themselves? Innocent souls are stolen by the predators and when they are caught they are given unimaginably short sentences after giving a life sentence to their victims. The victims are shamed and often, like myself, don’t speak out. In my case, I blocked my trauma out for 5 years and during that time had self-hate and harm. I thought about suicide many time and actually attempted, just wanting to go to sleep and stop the inner voice from continuing to tell me horrible things about myself. My inner voice hated that I didn’t get her justice and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting help or why I wasn’t making sure the man that stole our innocence got punished. When I finally allowed myself to remember the rape again 5 years after, I promised myself I would never be silent about this again.
As a society, we tell children that sex is bad and that it is not something we talk about. Even this is wrong. We need to stop stigmatizing the act of sex and put the focus on the fact that these people that do these acts to children are predators and need to be given as extreme of consequences as they impose on their victims. These predators steal the souls of their victims and need to be punished as such.
10 TIPS TO OVERCOMING N-E-G-A-T-I-V-I-T-Y
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We hear so often we have to love ourselves so that we can truly love others and be loved by others. What does it mean to love ourselves however? This means you have to accept that you are the person you are meant to be and that there will be people that don’t appreciate who we are but that is not something you need to focus so much on. Be sure that when you find the person you love that you don’t allow others to tell you that it is wrong for you to be who you love. Love is different for each of us but never forget you wake with yourself and you fall asleep with yourself as well. Love You!
This journey from Survivor to Thriver and Then Beyond, is in no way easy but it is truly within reach of each of us. Myself, I am between the Survivor and Thriver Stages and I work every day to take the necessary steps to keep moving more forward that backward. This road is often bumpy and there are many days I just think "Maybe I am good with just being a survivor. Why do I need to thrive anyway and is the beyond really that amazing? I am happy as I am now. Why do I need to keep pushing myself?"
The simple answer to all this is: I am meant to do MORE! My journey hasn't ended so why should I just stop working to achieve the ultimate life I am meant to live? I survived sexual abuse! I survived suicide! I survived a life of negativity. Why? The only logical explaination I can come up with is that I am meant to THRIVE and even more importantly reach BEYOND! I am meant to share my story so that others can survive themselves and know that if I can do it they certainly can. If you have done the work to survive your past regardless of what it held, be sure you are working toward thriving and living this life you have, to it's fullness without regret.
If we all accepted each other's strengths and weaknesses and stopped listening to the negative words that are thrown around, you would learn to enjoy your life much more. Remember if you don't hear the information direct from the source you honestly don't know the truth. Try believing in the positive and ignoring the negative for one week and I promise you your life will change for the better. Love you all!!
When we are born we have no reason to believe anyone or anything is going to hurt us. We trust with everything we know until the time comes when that trust is broken. Once this happens we begin questioning the intentions of things and ultimately others around us. Once trust is lost it is not easy to regain and tough to not project on even those who have never done anything to not trust them. It must be a conscious decision to put our past experiences behind us and to make a conscious effort to not make others pay for the actions of a few. It has to be as though after trust is lost with one person you are “re-born” in a sense and you can’t continue to hold everyone around you responsible for actions of a few. When you realize that once trust is lost it is not only the person who broke that trust you no longer believe it but you ultimately have lost trust for yourself in your judgement. Trust is freeing and as long as you are careful and you listen to your instincts so that you aren’t putting yourself in situations where those who have bad intentions have to access to take advantage, being able to trust is so much healthier than hold on to that negativity of not trusting and thinking everyone is out to harm you.
Is there such a thing as a “Plug n Play Relationship” out there? One where two people have exactly what each other are made for without any modifications at all? I say “NO”, and that is perfectly okay. The problem is that people expect each other to be who they are today and remain that person for the rest of their lives. Or the other happens, and they are upset because they do not “changed” the way they expect them to. We change every single day and unless the two people change in the exact same way at the exact same pace they will never be the same to each other down the road. Then people get upset at each other for not being who they were and that is unreasonable. None of us are the same people we were yesterday much less 10, 20, 50 years from now. You either accept the person each of you have become or you accept that you are not compatible as you once were and you agree to part ways. There is no such thing as the “Plug n Play Relationship” that just continues to fit perfectly over and over. Be okay with that and communicate with each other. The worse thing you can do is hide the fact that your wants and desires have changed over time, or try to be something that someone else wants you to be and then find later you can’t be that. Resentment then sets in and one or both parties feel they have been misled as to who you are. Nothing is Plug n Play so just be yourself and be open with yourself and those around you as to your weaknesses and flaws. Once you are able to acknowledge them you are able to work on them and being open with others will have the opportunity to work with you or decide if they like you only as you are or they want they same thing for you and will help you to grow. Never expect that Plug n Play is what you want, because you have to know things today are not as they will be tomorrow. Be ready to adapt and there may not be an adapter for everyone in your life when change happens.
What is Independence exactly? The act of being free of outside control, self-government, separation, sovereignty, freedom and so much more, right?! To become independent we gain control of ourselves and our own actions. We become strength within ourselves and then are able to combine our independence with others and become an even stronger power. It is when we are dependent on others that we are weak and allow ourselves to be taken advantage of and at times abused. Becoming independent does not mean you are shutting out those around you, but are taking control of your own actions and choosing to not blame others for your choices when they do not go as planned. With independence comes ultimate freedom from allowing the action of others to dictate the outcome of our own lives. Things will happen in our lives that we are not able to control but with independence we are able to analyze those moments and determine how we are going to allow them to impact our future. It is within our control and when you are able to stop being the victim of other people’s mistakes and truly become self-aware and in control of your own destiny only then we can gain our true Independence and be Free.
Your life is like a business! You should be working at it every single day and those in your life should be helping you to build the business not to let it fail. Surround yourself with like-minds and be sure you manage your life well! It’s yours to lead and choose who is in it!
There is a huge difference between being alone and loneliness. We all need to be alone from time to time to get to know ourselves. When we spend time in silence with our own thoughts we truly get to know who we are. If you can be content in your own presence then imagine how you are going to be with someone else. The key is to not allow yourself slip into loneliness. Loneliness is when you are alone and all you can think about is how empty you feel. It is not healthy to feel lonely because it can easily transition into depression. The healthy place to be is when you can sit in a room alone and not feel that you are. You are able to sit in silence and enjoy your thoughts and the silence in itself. Strive to be happy alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself why would anyone else want to be. Think about that.
I want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress and how it feels as though our souls have been stolen after a traumatic event. There are of course various levels of Trauma but no one can really say that one level is easier than another. It truly depends on a multitude of variables and it really isn’t anyone’s place to determine how each traumatic event will effect each person. Two people can go through the exact same event at the exact same time and each will process it all differently. No one person has the knowledge or power to determine another persons thoughts or emotions. Everyone of us is unique and need to process things in our own way. For society to tell us we need to just accept something and get over it isn’t realistic in a lot of cases.
I battled with PTSD myself after I was raped at the age of 12. I repressed the incident so that I wouldn’t have to face the truth and continue to relive the act over and over in my nightmares. This is how I dealt with the trauma and it almost killed me as I dealt with suicidal thoughts and attempted, thankfully I failed. The one thing in my life I can honestly say today that I am proud of being a failure at. Those thoughts can really get the better of you and for those not having them you have no way of comprehending what it is like. The only way I can try and describe it would be like this… Have you ever had a recording of something you hated play over and over and you couldn’t get the player to shut off? You feel anxious because you want it to stop but it just continues no matter what you do? It is kind of like that but the voices or images are inside your head and there is no off button to push, or power cord you can pull. Think of it like those battling with those voices and images in their head finally have enough and they make suicide their disconnection from the ultimate power source of life. Typically, they resort to these measures because they believe there is no other way to get them to stop and no one can possibly understand what they are going through. Those battling with memories of a traumatic event, continue to replay that event over and over in their minds because their brain is trying to resolve the issue and can’t change the outcome. They are the star of their own personal thriller movie in their minds and they are often scared to share with anyone for fear that no one will believe them or will believe they are weak.
No matter why, it is wrong that they should be made to feel they are the ones that did anything wrong. They need to be ensured that they are loved and that they will not be judged for the acts of others choices or even their own in some cases. Things that have happened in our past, whether that is yesterday or several years ago, can never be changed or taken back. We have to learn to acknowledge those events and history and accept who we are today. In order for us to overcome our past we have to put it in the past and not allow it to continue to tear us down in our present and definitely not let it hold us back from our future. We are on this journey together and we all need to help one another achieve the future that we were meant to have.
There is a huge difference between Limiting and Empowering Beliefs. When all you do is allow yourself to be run by your limiting beliefs you are held back and can never achieve anywhere close to your full potential. When limiting beliefs take hold they become obstacle to overcome, but if we focus on the positives and the empowering beliefs, the sky is the limit. Embracing the positives can take you to heights you had never imagined when you listen to your limiting beliefs you get held back. Focus on your positives and let your empowering beliefs allow you to soar.
With Social Media actually have to leave their homes to interact with others. Is it really the same as it use to be though? There is a huge difference between making friends in the flesh and making friends online. Think about this, when you make friends online you can only get online to chat when you want to present the persona you present online. In real life if you are going to have friends they have to accept you for good or bad. You actually have to learn to socialize under various conditions. Now the only way this changes online is if you pledge to be authentic 100% of the time. Just be yourself regardless of circumstances. We have learned to socialize online and hide behind the keyboard. Is this REAL? That to me is the negative to Socializing now versus how we had to do it before Social Media. Just always be true to yourself and then Social Media only expands your networking.
Are you one of those people that always has to make everyone happy even when you hurt yourself at times? You can’t stand seeing others sad so you give anything it takes to make them happy? It is a great thing that you have a big heart and you want to take care of others but there always needs to be a balance. If you are always giving, in time you have nothing left for yourself. In this process you lose yourself and if you lose yourself then how can anyone who cares about you truly be happy. Making you happy first needs to be priority and those who truly care for you will understand. When they don’t is when you need to be stepping back and evaluating things. Are they that unhappy or are they just selfish?
Have you ever really thought about what a “doormat” is used for? It is a mat placed in an entryway, on which people can wipe their feet on upon entering. when it comes to people however, this term is also used in regards to submissive people who allow others to dominate them. They allow others to walk on them as though they were laid on the ground for others to wipe their feet on. This is not any way to live or be treated. We all have value and worth. To be walked on as though you don’t matter is never a healthy feeling. All too often these people become “doormats” as a result of low self-esteem or trauma in their lives. They believe that they don’t deserve to be treated better. Or they feel it is the only way people will love them. Love yourself and never allow others to treat as though your life isn’t equal to theirs. Take control and demand equal respect from those around you. We each have our purpose on this earth and to be used as a human doormat is not your purpose. Stand tall and be strong. Demand what you truly deserve and never let another person treat you any differently. If someone needs something to walk on, tell them they can buy a DOORMAT at the local hardware store.
I made a huge break through the other day in my healing. I acknowledged a weakness in myself that I believe is going to help me to truly let go of a little more of my past. I have a pattern of allowing people in my life that control me through manipulation. It is typically people who are insecure with themselves and they find by tearing down my self-confidence they gain power over me, hence in return “holding me down”. I realized this is a metaphor for my past and the way I have programmed myself to survive. This I have realized is all tied back to my rape and the act of being physically “held down” during it. I see that I have learned to accept this behavior out of habit. By now acknowledging this about myself, I truly believe this is the next step I need to continue this path of healing that I am on. I refuse to allow myself to be “held down” by others any longer. I know my worth and I know that I have much to share with this world. I will no longer allow the weakness of others to become my weakness. It is an amazing feeling, when you can start to see things in your life clearly and be able to learn the lessons of our past instead of allowing them to HOLD US DOWN!!
Are you sitting on the “make a huge decision in your life” fence? I know I battle with this often and have had to throw caution to the wind and just take a leap of faith! Actually believing in myself, not simply doing what I have always done. Taking a Leap of Faith means that you have to trust your gut. Not rely on your brain or your heart, because both of these have their own walls that will prevent us from truly letting go and making new things happen. By throwing caution to the wind you can truly live the life that is meant to be. Not just the “I am safe” version of life that your brain and heart agree you are able to handle. Push your limits and take a risk at times. That Leap of Faith could very well be the most amazing future you could never have imagined.
I recently reread the following article “Here’s Why You’re Having Bad Sex” and wanted to share my thoughts on it with you. First take a moment to read through his article and then come back and I will continue…See you back soon! www.attn.com/stories/4597/nev-schulman-casual-sex-tips?utm_source=nevschulman&utm_medium=fbpost&utm_campaign=influencer by Nev Schulman
Welcome Back! Hope you enjoyed the article. Now here are my thoughts, first of all let me say that I feel that society needs to back the hell off this hypocrisy that men can have sex as often or with whomever they want but women can only do it when they are in a committed relationship. If a woman feels she can emotionally handle the ramifications of having casual sex with multiple partners that is absolutely her decision. However, she has to accept that men and women are just built differently. Even when you think you can control your emotions, actually you have no control of them whatsoever. You may end up feeling empty and alone after you have a one night stand and beating yourself up. Now you are totally confused because you probably didn’t really like the guy past just attraction and lust. You are going to battle with yourself because your hormones may not know the difference. Hormones are going to elevate and get you questioning your initial thoughts. You are also going to start worrying what others are going to think of you. Let me say right now…WHO GIVES A SHIT!! No one but you lives your life and if you made the choice it is your choice to live with. No one else has the right to judge you for it. My hope is that one day society will accept that Sex is Healthy for both genders. We both deserve to get these benefits and not feel guilty for it.
As for men and casual sex, I can honestly say I have seen a change in the way men in my age group view casual sex. Some are all about the casual and then just don’t know how to stop the desire for something new and stopping that feeling of they might miss out on something great if they stop with just one. They worry they will meet a freak in the sheets and then once they commit and become exclusive that freak will do the stereotypical, shutdown and start using sex to control them. This is what has to stop. Why do we as women feel it is right for us to use sex as a weapon instead of accepting it as a reward for both of us?
Be sure you are enjoying sex with your partner. That is truly what matters in the end. If you truly love having sex with your partner you will want to find time for the two of you whenever you possibly can have it. Keep that spark and it can be forever. No your relationship isn’t all about sex but SEX is an important glue in the intimacy of your relationship. Without intimacy, love will fizzle and potentially one partner, or both, will start looking for that spark elsewhere. If you truly love your partner make sure you keep those passion embers HOT.
Take a minute and look at yourself in the mirror. What feature do you see first? Do you see the good or bad first? Typically on average people will zero in on the things they don’t like about themselves first thing. If this is you, I want you to try something. Before you walk to the mirror think of the parts of yourself that you do like about yourself and tell yourself to focus on that part of you only. Don’t look at any other feature. Now acknowledge what it is about the feature that you are comfortable with. Now you have to think of another feature that you either like or just don’t dislike. Focus immediately on that feature. Repeat the cycle of telling yourself what it is you do like. Now I want you to think of the feature you hate the most about yourself. Go ahead, be real now. What feature do you have that you just hate? Now I want you to stare at that body part. Stare hard at it. Is there anything you can do to change that feature? Anything at all in your immediate power to make it better. I am guessing the answer is no or you would have already done something about it, right? Well I want you to remind yourself that we all have flaws and parts of us we can not change and that we do not like but there are also parts that we do. It is the great balance of life. Accept that you are unique and even your flaws are a gift because they make you different from someone else and that is a positive. If you can’t change it, Embrace it! Every part of you makes you the wonderful person you are and you have to love yourself for all that you are not just pieces of yourself. This will not change overnight but I want you to keep working on this every day. I tell you that you will start to see a difference in how you see yourself in time once you start accepting every part of you for being special to you!
I have a serious question for you. Can you be bought? What amount of money would you sell your soul for? If you honestly have an amount that you were able to come up with, I am very sorry for you. Say No to Greed! There truly is no amount of money that can buy you absolutely everything you could want! Once you received the amount you think would suffice, would only want more. Are you willing to give up family and friends for money? Can money buy those things for you? True Family and Friends that is? I have given up a lot over the years just so that I could keep my own self-worth intact. There is no amount of money in this world that would tempt me to sell myself. I would rather have nothing and have my true family and friends and keep my integrity than to sell myself and be lost. Greed is a horrible negative so be sure you are saying, “No To Greed!”
Sometimes we care too much and open our hearts just to get them broken! This can either stop us in our tracks or it can give us the ability to expand our hearts, mend them and then have more space to take on much more! Take every opportunity to grow as a positive regardless of how it happened! You truly can never care too much, just be prepared that it may hurt at times but growing pains hurt! Embrace them!
There comes that time in our lives that we have to spread our wings and become the person we were meant to be. This often results in the loss of people we thought would be there forever. When we grow we don’t all grow together we have to accept that your needs and goals may not be the same as those from your past. During this growth process we learn new things about ourselves and see things in a different light. Unfortunately, some may not agree with your choices and you may not agree with theirs. This is okay, it just means you are both growing and like the branches of the tree of life we go in different directions and often we don’t meet up again the same as we once had.
What an amazingly strong word for five letters. Trust is a word that all too often is so difficult to define but so utterly important in all types of relationships. To me the word trust has five components to it: Truth, Respect, Understanding, Strength, and Teamwork. Without this in our relationships we feel insecurity and weakness and this can breakdown any type of relationship over time. Building trust takes time and can be knocked over in a matter of a few moments if the foundation isn’t solid. Take pride in who you are and be sure that if you are requiring TRUST you give it in return. We are all equal and deserve to be treated as such especially in our relationships.
Always remember that as long as there is breath in your lungs and your heart is beating, you are alive! Live life while you can and be sure you are living it for yourself not just to please everyone else! If those around you aren’t on the same path it doesn’t make either of you right or wrong it just is you are living different lives! Time Live Yours To It’s Fullest!
In society today, I see a trend of people accepting less than they truly deserve and actually criticizing others for wanting more for themselves. Often they settle because of low personal self-esteem, insecurity, feeling damaged, or even out of fear of being alone. This behavior not only hurts the one doing the settling but ultimately hurts the one being settled for. This is wrong for everyone. We need to step back and evaluate ourselves. Ask ourselves why would we think so little of ourselves that we would be okay settling for something or someone we knew from the start wasn’t right for us. The important thing is to not ignore the red flags. If you see red flags in a situation be sure you are paying close attention to them and not just brushing them aside. We all have intuition we just rarely acknowledge it. If you are settling for a person in the end that person is and you will get hurt because one or both of you will eventually move on. Focus on your needs and be a little selfish as in the end you want to be with someone that wants you happy and you want them happy as well.
This is for all my single readers primarily. Do you often hear the phrase, “Age is just a number” when meeting new people in the dating arena? I think about these 6 words quite often as I don’t agree that is is just a number. Now do I believe it is a make or break in a potential partner? Absolutely not! There is someone for everyone and every situation in our lives for sure. However, if you are very accomplished and have your share of experience you may look for a partner with similar experience. Well often, not always, with every day of age comes a day of experience right? So if you try to say that age is just a number then you are discounting the importance of the experiences that are acquire with every day you are alive! Myself, I appreciate every experience I am given and consider them a badge of honor that I either enjoyed them or even survived them. Never discount what you have learned with every day you are alive and continue to go out there and push yourself further and further to achieve so much more!!
Even in a healthy loving relationship there can be moments of weakness. The important thing is open communication between one another. When I say “open communication” I mean, OPEN!! Each of you have to feel safe talking to one another about any thoughts you many have. Often in relationships one partner or the other considers cheating because over time their likes and needs change and they worry if they tell their partner they won’t accept it. Insecurities are a strong emotion and it can hurt a relationship without either partner knowing the other is dealing with it. If we truly love and accept one another we should be open to each others fantasies as well. Make sure your partner knows that you love them and you won’t judge them. I recommend that you open the communication that allows each other to feel they can voice your individual fantasies as though you were cheating with your partner. Talk openly with them as if they were a stranger at times and you are telling them things they never knew. Strangely at times it is the excitement that is needed in someone. If you role play and act as though you are dating for the very first time and that you have to keep it quiet or your partner (who is actually this person of course) will find out. Often people cheat only because they want to feel that excitement of a new relationship or to have someone to just listen to them and give them undivided attention so the feel heard. You may not agree with this thought process but from my experience with married people online, the two common things I hear is that they aren’t connected sexually with their partner (male and female) and that they just can’t communicate and tell them the fantasies they have for fear of them not understanding. As I said, Cheat with your Partner and allow them to tell you their inner fantasies no matter how intense. If you two can’t discuss these things and come to a common agreement how can you have passion and true connection. Get out there and Cheat With Your Partner and Be each other’s fantasies!
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