I choose to live for the future. The past is only part of who I am and it is for sure a huge part of my foundation. However, it is not all of me and I will not allow it to consume me. We all have to acknowledge our past and accept our present but our future is where we are headed so why get stuck in the minutia of the negativity of the past that cannot be changed. We have a future and it is up to us how amazing it is.
Why when trauma happens to us do we continue to carry the burden of these acts for a lifetime? Why can’t we acknowledge these acts as what they are, the past and it can’t be changed? The images continue to pop in our heads, we have horrible nightmares, we shut ourselves off from others, and in the worst cases we take our own lives. Why? Why do we insist on carrying the burden of the past? Sometimes this is because we don’t believe we have another option. Other times is because we don’t speak out for fear of having to relive the acts. Let me tell you from my own personal experience, carrying the burden hurts us worse than the acts did. In most cases it tears us down mentally and then our inner voice tries to fight back and get our attention. Then the bad thoughts start setting in. Regardless of the acts and the trauma, it is very important to give your inner voice an outlet. Stop carrying the burden of the past that you cannot possibly change. Speak out and learn the lessons from the past and make sure it never happens again. Maybe you can even save these acts from happening to others because you were able to make others aware of the possibilities. Fight back and stop carrying the burdens of your past.
The greatest thing about sex should be the exploration of one another’s likes and dislikes, fantasies and fears, passions and forbiddens. When you first get into a relationship you need to not allow past sexual experiences to dictate what you like and don’t like. What you didn’t like with one person may absolutely be the best thing you have ever experienced, with another partner. Don’t ever close your mind to the exploration. When you start discussing sex don’t ever ask “So what is your favorite position!” If you have never been with each other, how can either of you know what will and won’t work for you as partners. Enjoy the exploration and open your mind to the possibilities of expanding that exploration to things you may never have wanted to try before. You just never know what the two of you may uncover together.