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All posts for the month July, 2014

Living in Cyberspace

Posted by vixtalks on July 27, 2014
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I have been in cyberspace for a few years now and I have seen some very interesting things in human behavior during that time. People tend to get behind the keyboard and become something opposite of who they are in the “Real” World.  It is interesting to me that these people will portray themselves like something completely opposite of who they are and then when the time comes to actually meet them they get upset with you if you get upset that they are not as I say “advertised”.

Have you noticed that we escape to Cyberspace for virtual reality when we don’t want to accept reality? I have talked to a lot of people.  Everyone has their different reasons for being online.  I don’t judge, question, or expect anything more than for those who talk to me to just be what they are comfortable with.  If you are there to escape from your reality that is fine. If you are there to be that persona you cannot seem to be in reality then I completely understand. The only thing I ever ask is that they are understanding enough to respect that those they talk to can be impacted by their actions.

I have talked to some that use fake pictures, old pictures, or won’t even show a picture at all.  These people often either have low self-esteem or can’t for one reason or another show themselves online for fear of being noticed.  I have mixed emotions about this because all they are doing is hiding from themselves and lying to others in return.  If you have read some of my other posts you will know that  I don’t judge and if there is a reason to be something you aren’t online at least make it something there is possibility of you becoming.  I believe if you start living the life you are focused on maybe there is a chance you will get the strength through the persona.  Use your persona to give you the courage to strive to be your very best and to boost your self-confidence in return.

Most seem to use cyberspace to escape from their reality.  If you are unemployed, not physically what you perceive as perfect, married, or even older than you portray yourself, you may be using cyberspace to escape from the stressed of everyday life.  Don’t lead people on to make yourself feel good though.  Just remember just because you may feel better about yourself for the moment you could be playing with the other person’s emotions and you don’t even realize it.  Accept who you are and embrace that, and work on your weaknesses and grow from them. 🙂 If you can play the person online you can live the person in reality.  You may not overcome certain things but the better you feel about yourself inside will in time show through on the outside.  Love who you are for everything you are and those around you will as well.

Insecurity Hurts Everyone

Posted by vixtalks on July 9, 2014
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This topic is close to my heart.  I feel very strongly about the need for Security and Independence in one’s life.  If you are always thinking you are not a good enough for those around you all you do in return is tear down the others in order to boost yourself and we all know that isn’t healthy.  You have to dig deep inside you when you are criticizing other around you or controlling them by making them feel guilty for wanting things you may not.

I am often amazed by people who are insecure.  You wouldn’t expect most of them to have anything to be insecure about.  Some are very attractive, have great jobs, are very social, have great families, etc. what in the world would they have to be insecure about you may think.  Insecurities cannot always be explained.  We all see ourselves differently when we look in the mirror.  It could be our pasts, our choices we have made that we aren’t happy about, our unexplored dreams lost, and many more things.  We all have our wants and desires for ourselves that we let become insecurities at times.  The key is to not allow those to impact us negatively.  Take those insecurities and grow from them and learn about ourselves deeper.  Never allow your insecurities to be an excuse to tear others down or control those around you so that you feel more in control. We all need our independence and self-identity.  If you feel that it takes someone else or others to do this for you then you truly need to take step back and reassess yourself.  By allowing this to impact those around you will only tear apart your relationships and in the end it could actually become a self-fulfilled prophecy.  If you are accusing others of maybe cheating or wanting a life without you more, then in time if you continue to plant that seed when that other person finally has enough that prophecy will be fulfilled and you will very likely be left alone and you will try to blame that person when in reality you need to look at yourself and realize you pushed them to it.

Take time for you to find yourself and love yourself.  Never have people in your life because you can’t live without them.  You should have people in your life because they enhance your life and being around them just increases your happiness.  When we make people our “everything” we end up putting way to much pressure on that person to be perfect and in time they will not feel they can ever really be what you expect.  Be happy with who you are and always find your positives in your life, because very often things can be far worse than they are today and if you take a moment to analyze your situation you will realize that there are many positives to be thankful for.  Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.

Head Turning

Posted by vixtalks on July 9, 2014
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I think we all make a mistake when we focus too much on pleasing everyone we meet.  Our focus should be on making ourselves happy and in the end we shouldn’t be trying to turn “Many” Heads but should truly focus on find the Right One.  Never settle for second best.  If it doesn’t feel Perfect then don’t waste your time or the other person’s.  Be happy in your life and remember at the end of the day the “Right One” is out there.  If you settle for the wrong one you will miss out.

Just a little VixTalk opinion of the day:

Headturned Owl

Why Do People Cheat?

Posted by vixtalks on July 4, 2014
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Do you ever wonder why people cheat? I have noticed in the past couple years that more people consider cheating than I ever realized. There are many reason why I believe people take the leap from fantasizing about being with another person to actually crossing the line and engaging in intimacy with another person other than their significant other. I will not justify the actually crossing of this line but I will only acknowledge that I can at time understand why someone would even consider it.

One primary reason I have heard from men is that it is against Human nature for a man to be monogamous.  Men are made to spread to procreate I am told.  They were never meant to be with only one woman.  I am not sure I buy into this but I do understand that it is easy to get bored in a relationship if is allowed to smolder and not fanned to keep the fire burning.

Another reason I hear is the one I have spoken of in previous posts.  There often becomes a time in a relationship that one partner or the other decides to withhold sex as punishment from their significant other.  This happens with both sexes but I see women withholding much more often than men.  I will admit there was a time in my life where I thought I understood this method, but all this does is deprive both parties.  Sex is a great way to relieve stress and build intimacy between two people.  During those times where you would think you might hold back should really be the time where you insist on it.  It creates a bond, releases stress, and boosts the confidence of both parties.

Yet another reason I have notice is the loss of attraction for one another.  This I firmly believe happens primarily because of a lack of communication between the two parties.  If one person loses the spark for the other they need to be able to discuss this with the other so that they may work together to determine how they can rekindle that spark.  If the person just keeps this to them self in fear of hurting the other’s feelings and they chose to just go out and find the spark elsewhere, in the end don’t they end up hurting them both?

If a relationship is going to last both partners need to be willing to work together to be each other’s fantasy.  You both have your daily lives and have work and children possibly to manage but you have to also remember to take time for each other to communicate what is missing and what is also working in your intimacy.  If one partner is in need for spice then role play is a great way to give them a taste of that without having to have them go out searching for it.  You need to be each other’s fantasies in the bedroom.  Men, this does not only go for your women.  If you expect your woman to be your fantasy you need to take the time to find out exactly what it is she fantasizes about as well.  Instead of searching outside your partnership, create the fantasy inside it and “cheat” with each other from time to time. Enjoy each other.