Even in a healthy loving relationship there can be moments of weakness. The important thing is open communication between one another. When I say “open communication” I mean, OPEN!! Each of you have to feel safe talking to one another about any thoughts you many have. Often in relationships one partner or the other considers cheating because over time their likes and needs change and they worry if they tell their partner they won’t accept it. Insecurities are a strong emotion and it can hurt a relationship without either partner knowing the other is dealing with it. If we truly love and accept one another we should be open to each others fantasies as well. Make sure your partner knows that you love them and you won’t judge them. I recommend that you open the communication that allows each other to feel they can voice your individual fantasies as though you were cheating with your partner. Talk openly with them as if they were a stranger at times and you are telling them things they never knew. Strangely at times it is the excitement that is needed in someone. If you role play and act as though you are dating for the very first time and that you have to keep it quiet or your partner (who is actually this person of course) will find out. Often people cheat only because they want to feel that excitement of a new relationship or to have someone to just listen to them and give them undivided attention so the feel heard. You may not agree with this thought process but from my experience with married people online, the two common things I hear is that they aren’t connected sexually with their partner (male and female) and that they just can’t communicate and tell them the fantasies they have for fear of them not understanding. As I said, Cheat with your Partner and allow them to tell you their inner fantasies no matter how intense. If you two can’t discuss these things and come to a common agreement how can you have passion and true connection. Get out there and Cheat With Your Partner and Be each other’s fantasies!
When you are in a relationship and you trust your partner but want to spice things up a bit, you have got to discuss the option of role play with your partner. The level of role play you take on is totally up to the two of you. It must be understood and agreed upon up front that the detail of this time is never to be discussed with anyone but the two of you. This is how trust is built and how freedom is established. Role Play can be used as a way to enhance the intimacy and explore each other’s inner fantasies. It is a time where each of you can find out the thoughts that pass through each other’s minds. Now this means that as women you have to be understanding and accepting of the ideas, but it does not mean you have to participate if you are not both comfortable. The lines of communication must be opened first. You should each sit down together and talk about your basic fantasies to start off with. These are the things you try first to start to build the trust and open the lines of communication. As you both get more and more comfortable you can start to get a little more adventurous, but remember it has to be something that you are both comfortable with before you try it. It has to be a time to bond and explore not just fulfill the other partner’s fantasy. Especially in the beginning. You need to agree and then gradually expand together as you are both comfortable and confident. Role Play is a great tool to use when you get to a point in your relationship when you are taking each other for granted or not taking the time for one another. You can plan a date night to start off with and meet one another at a restaurant, a bar, a park, etc. and meet there as though it is the first meeting and flirt and pick each other up. Make it exciting. Fuel that fire that you should have inside of you, no matter how deep. If you don’t have that you will have to build it. A healthy relationship has fire and passion. Don’t take one another for granted and make sure you tell one another regularly what it is that draws you to them. A person needs to hear the good things and by role playing you are able to show one another what you want and make it fun.
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Do you ever wonder why people cheat? I have noticed in the past couple years that more people consider cheating than I ever realized. There are many reason why I believe people take the leap from fantasizing about being with another person to actually crossing the line and engaging in intimacy with another person other than their significant other. I will not justify the actually crossing of this line but I will only acknowledge that I can at time understand why someone would even consider it.
One primary reason I have heard from men is that it is against Human nature for a man to be monogamous. Men are made to spread to procreate I am told. They were never meant to be with only one woman. I am not sure I buy into this but I do understand that it is easy to get bored in a relationship if is allowed to smolder and not fanned to keep the fire burning.
Another reason I hear is the one I have spoken of in previous posts. There often becomes a time in a relationship that one partner or the other decides to withhold sex as punishment from their significant other. This happens with both sexes but I see women withholding much more often than men. I will admit there was a time in my life where I thought I understood this method, but all this does is deprive both parties. Sex is a great way to relieve stress and build intimacy between two people. During those times where you would think you might hold back should really be the time where you insist on it. It creates a bond, releases stress, and boosts the confidence of both parties.
Yet another reason I have notice is the loss of attraction for one another. This I firmly believe happens primarily because of a lack of communication between the two parties. If one person loses the spark for the other they need to be able to discuss this with the other so that they may work together to determine how they can rekindle that spark. If the person just keeps this to them self in fear of hurting the other’s feelings and they chose to just go out and find the spark elsewhere, in the end don’t they end up hurting them both?
If a relationship is going to last both partners need to be willing to work together to be each other’s fantasy. You both have your daily lives and have work and children possibly to manage but you have to also remember to take time for each other to communicate what is missing and what is also working in your intimacy. If one partner is in need for spice then role play is a great way to give them a taste of that without having to have them go out searching for it. You need to be each other’s fantasies in the bedroom. Men, this does not only go for your women. If you expect your woman to be your fantasy you need to take the time to find out exactly what it is she fantasizes about as well. Instead of searching outside your partnership, create the fantasy inside it and “cheat” with each other from time to time. Enjoy each other.