When you are in a relationship and you trust your partner but want to spice things up a bit, you have got to discuss the option of role play with your partner. The level of role play you take on is totally up to the two of you. It must be understood and agreed upon up front that the detail of this time is never to be discussed with anyone but the two of you. This is how trust is built and how freedom is established. Role Play can be used as a way to enhance the intimacy and explore each other’s inner fantasies. It is a time where each of you can find out the thoughts that pass through each other’s minds. Now this means that as women you have to be understanding and accepting of the ideas, but it does not mean you have to participate if you are not both comfortable. The lines of communication must be opened first. You should each sit down together and talk about your basic fantasies to start off with. These are the things you try first to start to build the trust and open the lines of communication. As you both get more and more comfortable you can start to get a little more adventurous, but remember it has to be something that you are both comfortable with before you try it. It has to be a time to bond and explore not just fulfill the other partner’s fantasy. Especially in the beginning. You need to agree and then gradually expand together as you are both comfortable and confident. Role Play is a great tool to use when you get to a point in your relationship when you are taking each other for granted or not taking the time for one another. You can plan a date night to start off with and meet one another at a restaurant, a bar, a park, etc. and meet there as though it is the first meeting and flirt and pick each other up. Make it exciting. Fuel that fire that you should have inside of you, no matter how deep. If you don’t have that you will have to build it. A healthy relationship has fire and passion. Don’t take one another for granted and make sure you tell one another regularly what it is that draws you to them. A person needs to hear the good things and by role playing you are able to show one another what you want and make it fun.
SEX…Why is that such a taboo word? When are we as society going to realize the benefits of this amazing act and stop judging each other? One thing I always taught my children is that sex is not something to take for granted but to enjoy every minute you get. From the beginning to the climax and even the moments after. We need to escape from ourselves during sex. I have found recently that most people are just going through the motions and not truly letting go, due to the fear of being judged.
I talk very openly about sex and some think that is crazy. I am not ashamed of it and I believe by hiding it is saying it is a bad thing. When you truly enjoy something you talk about it right? When I played softball I talked about it and told people what it was I enjoyed about it. I would teach those who wanted to know how I did certain things. Just like with Crafts and Cooking. So if I can talk to people about those things, why can’t I talk as openly about sex? I feel that my openness has opened others’ eyes a bit and this is what I enjoy doing.
When we give ourselves permission to enjoy the pleasures of sex we find that there are so many benefits to it:
I don’t know about you but these are very good reasons to enjoy the benefits of sex. If you don’t have a partner in your life, there is truly nothing wrong with self-pleasure. If you don’t already you need to start. The benefits truly outweigh the negatives you could possibly think of. I know that by letting go of inhibitions during intimacy many doors open. You burn calories, reduce your stress, improve blood pressure, oh yes and have a fantastic orgasm. Well isn’t that a benefit? If you have ever let go and had a real orgasm you completely understand what I mean and if you haven’t you have got to do it at least once. 🙂 We will talk about this in more detail in Posts to come but just take my advice on this, the first step is opening up and “allowing” yourself to enjoy all of it. Alone or with your partner. The first step is telling yourself that what you are feeling is GOOD.
I am a huge believer in toys, whether they are for you alone or for you and your partner. Why do I said that you ask? Why do kids play with toys? To spark their imagination right? Bringing a toy into the bedroom allows you to spark that imagination. Whatever your comfort level is where you start. If you aren’t comfortable with dildos or clit stimulators then you may want to start with role play first. Buy a mask, a costume, a sexy outfit, or a blindfold. If you are alone, start by putting on a Blindfold during masturbation. I know, I know…What? I am telling you, try it. Male or Female can benefit from this. Wearing a blindfold intensifies the other senses and enables you to shut out the visual stimulus. It will enable you to relax and enjoy yourself. You will feel silly at first. You need to let go and enjoy it. No one can see you, so don’t hold back.
Remember you are in control of your wants and desires. Don’t allow others to judge you for what you enjoy. Those that judge are only envious of the fact that you are able to let go and accept this thing so many others consider Taboo. Take the steps with me to open the eyes of those around us and show each other that sex is not bad, it is actually a great thing and you need to know what you enjoy before you can enjoy it with anyone else. Think about that next time you are feeling dirty because you start to think about sex more often than you do now. Open yourself up to the possibilities and again the benefits. You don’t have to be ashamed because you actually enjoy the pleasures of sex. Sex is NOT Taboo, it is EMPOWERMENT!!