VixTalks
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New Beginnings happen anytime. Doesn’t always just mean a total restart. I look at Mondays as the opportunity as a weekly New Beginning. It is the day where I can put all the negativity of last week behind me and focus on the positives of my future. Don’t allow the negativity around you to take hold. Set one day a week, whatever day you choose, to be your day to begin a new. If you want it can be every morning if you like even. It’s Your Choice! Make It Happen!
When you grow up around others that would rather live in victim status rather than surviving their past you easily take on the role of an enabler. You become the one to try daily to empower them to be the best they can be regardless of their past. It is easy to watch yourself cover for these people for their behaviors instead of expecting them to overcome. You think you are doing what is right and what you are supposed to do but unfortunately it can be deadly to an addict for example. Enablers will cover for those they believe can’t defend themselves and in the process they empower them to get worse and worse and not learn to survive. It’s like the saying, ” Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” If you see yourself enabling those around you then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself are you really helping them or hurting them? You could be LOVING THEM TO DEATH!
Each of us has different likes and dislikes. Some of us love the outdoors and anywhere there are trees and water. Others of us are more into the lights of the big city. Then there are others that would prefer sitting in the peace and quiet of a library. Whatever is your happy place, find it and be sure you are visiting as often as you can to bring happiness to your heart and soul.
Endometriosis is a disease that so many women live with and many not even realizing they have it. They live in pain or discomfort for years not even knowing why. I, myself was recently diagnosed after having unexplained coccyx pain that the doctors kept trying to explain away as being a bruise. It continued to get worse instead of healing and I demanded further tests. After a surgeon met with me and asked if I had ever been diagnosed with Endometriosis I finally had a name that I could start learning more about. Once I started researching I realized that other symptoms I had just thought were typical pain we as women just have to endure with “the curse.” This disease is not easily diagnosed and it is now believed that I have had this for over 20 years and now have Endometrial Hyperplasia. More tests including a Transvaginal Ultrasound and a biopsy of my uterus have been done. I am prepared for anything they find and just happy to know I was not just making this up in my head. I have endured more pain than I should have because I wasn’t aware of this disease but now that I know I want to share my experience so that others can get early diagnosis so they are able to get treatment or at least be sure their doctors take all the possible precautions early.
When will the time come when you say to yourself, “I acknowledge the past, however, I accept my present for what it is. My past will not dictate my future!” The moment you can do this, is the moment you will finally loosen those chains that have held you back. We cannot truly move forward without acknowledging the past. Stop reliving it over and over. Once you learn the lessons you were meant to learn step out of those chains and be free to make the future you truly desire and were meant to live.
There are always going to be those people around that I call the chronic complainers. They have to go against the majority just to stand out and get attention. They would complain if they were to get everything they asked for. They are just starved for attention and they can’t just be satisfied with things as they are. You will not be able to change these people and the best way to handle them is to know that is who they are and just don’t engage or feed their complaints. Unfortunately, these types just carry negativity around with them and if you allow them to, they will bring that negativity to your life as well. Don’t enable them by feeding into their complaining. Just walk away and find a more peaceful situation.
What does tolerance mean? Why don’t more of us have the ability to tolerate? Tolerance is the ability to tolerate or accept things we don’t necessarily agree with. I would much rather be learning to tolerate things I cannot change about others and accepting everyone for their uniqueness. I have learned so much from people who have different views than my own. They may not change your views but they can definitely give a new prospective. Open your eyes and learn from the world around you and be tolerant of those that may not agree with you or them with you. As I say, “Agree to Disagree!”
There is so much hate in the world today. I have this mission to help the world find positivity when I live in a world full of hate around me. So many either hate people because of their skin color, where they came from, how much money they make or even what their political views are. When will we stop living in hate. Remember the quote from Martin Luther King Jr, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” We have to learn to start appreciating the gifts each of us have and stop focusing on the darkness in others. If you don’t turn on the light you will remain in the dark. We have to learn to live through the hate with more positive energy and less negative. Hate thrives on hate so if we stop feeding it then it can’t thrive. Search out the Light in the Dark, it exists if you want to find it.
I don’t care what color your skin is, where your parents came from, or how much money is in your bank account. Every single one of us has a purpose in this world. We are one race, HUMAN. Each of us is diverse in our own special way. There is only one YOU. Embrace each others diversity. As I sit here writing this post, sitting no more than 6 feet from me are two gentlemen playing a very intense game of chess. The color of the their skin, their past traumas, or their status makes no difference. They are two diverse human beings enjoying a strategic game. It makes me smile to watch these two men enjoy a quiet night together. Just to think that 100 years ago these two men would not have been allowed to sit in a public place peacefully. It is amazing to me how far we have come yet I know know we have a very long way to go. I truly hope that when my grandchildren are my age they will be able to not even remember the time when our diversity was a bad thing. I want for them to not have to focus on the thought that any of us were better than the other, just that we are different and that is AMAZING!!
This is the perfect time of year to embrace the spirit of the season and remember that we are never truly alone. It can be tough to lose those we love and we start to feel sorry for ourselves when we think of them being gone. If you believe and embrace the spirits they will fill you with love that even while they were on earth they could never have shown you. Our spirits are stronger than our physical bodies. They are what get us through the tough times and when others past on they are still around us even when we don’t feel their presence. During the Holidays I believe their spirits are even stronger so take a moment and feel their presence and remember the love you had and will always have. Embrace The Spirit so that it can truly embrace you. HUGS
We have so much to learn from the stories of others. If you haven’t told yours there is someone out there waiting to hear it. We may believe we are alone and that no one would possibly want to hear our story but in actually there are others going through things that are similar to what we have and they can learn from us. If you are keeping your story secret you are hurting yourself as things that get buried that are still alive will only dig their way out and often won’t be happy for being buried alive. We have so much to learn from each other and learning from others stories can potentially help us to uncover our own.
As a mother of children who genetically inherited mental disorders they didn’t ask for or even deserve, I often feel this guilt for the choices I made. I know their pain as though it were my own even though I try to not enable them just because they are battling. They are strong at the core even though they feel they are victims at times. I often think of it like those who speak of the ghost pain after a limb is amputated, As a mother our children are an extension of ourselves and we do actually feel the pain they go through whether it is real to us or not. We will forever be connected to them but have to accept that they are a separate being and have to be allowed to make their own choices and experience their own failures. Love them but don’t love them to death.
Think of the ups and downs of life like heart beats. Some are stronger than others and during happiness it is different than during sadness but there is still a beat. We need the peaks and valleys or else we flat line. Even though we don’t like the low moments we have to remind ourselves that it is only a moment. Next thing you know life bounces back up and you are on your way up again. This is the heartbeat of life and without it we are dead. Enjoy the beats and blimps.
So many of us build walls in order to protect us from our past. The problem is that this actually can do the opposite and it can prevent us from moving toward our future. These walls that are meant to be made temporary and not allowed to encompass us entirely. All too often those who built these walls get comfortable behind them. They end up becoming trapped behind that which they built to protect them. It is natural to want to never be hurt again after you survive, but by projecting on to the world the acts of specific people or events all you do is close yourself off from the love and good that you should be allowing yourself. Do not allow yourself to remain the victim forever. Allow yourself the time and then be sure to start healing. The longer you build that wall the thicker it will become and the more difficult to tear down.
Do you ever get to points in your life where you feel all you have done until that point was only to prepare you for your future? Some of the people that were in your life were only there to strengthen you and show you what you didn’t want to be. We all have to learn to open our eyes and see those around us for who they are meant to be in our lives. Never feel that just because you are family or have been friends since you were children or your kids are friends with their kids that you “have” to keep those people in your life. If someone is toxic or only brings negative energy you have the right to remove them from your life with or without cause or explanation. Maybe these people surround themselves with others that are toxic and they choose to be around those people. If you feel that they bring that energy into your world via transference, you are perfectly in your right to walk away. We all have one life to live and we may regret some choices we make in a moment but we have to take risks at times to ensure a positive future. Without risk there is no reward. Be comfortable deleting the negative energy from your life in order for you to truly release yourself and make room for the amazing life you were meant to live.
There comes that time in our lives that we have to spread our wings and become the person we were meant to be. This often results in the loss of people we thought would be there forever. When we grow we don’t all grow together we have to accept that your needs and goals may not be the same as those from your past. During this growth process we learn new things about ourselves and see things in a different light. Unfortunately, some may not agree with your choices and you may not agree with theirs. This is okay, it just means you are both growing and like the branches of the tree of life we go in different directions and often we don’t meet up again the same as we once had.
Always remember that as long as there is breath in your lungs and your heart is beating, you are alive! Live life while you can and be sure you are living it for yourself not just to please everyone else! If those around you aren’t on the same path it doesn’t make either of you right or wrong it just is you are living different lives! Time Live Yours To It’s Fullest!
In society today, I see a trend of people accepting less than they truly deserve and actually criticizing others for wanting more for themselves. Often they settle because of low personal self-esteem, insecurity, feeling damaged, or even out of fear of being alone. This behavior not only hurts the one doing the settling but ultimately hurts the one being settled for. This is wrong for everyone. We need to step back and evaluate ourselves. Ask ourselves why would we think so little of ourselves that we would be okay settling for something or someone we knew from the start wasn’t right for us. The important thing is to not ignore the red flags. If you see red flags in a situation be sure you are paying close attention to them and not just brushing them aside. We all have intuition we just rarely acknowledge it. If you are settling for a person in the end that person is and you will get hurt because one or both of you will eventually move on. Focus on your needs and be a little selfish as in the end you want to be with someone that wants you happy and you want them happy as well.
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