Are you doing what you are meant to do or are you just going through the motions and doing what others tell you that you have to do? So many are ignoring their given talents and just doing what comes easiest instead of extending themselves a bit and being happier and get more out of what they are doing. When are you going to follow you passion and gifts? If you allow yourself to sell yourself short and just get by you will never know exactly what it is you could have become. Never sell yourself short, cause you have unlimited value. Reach for it and make it happen.
What is it depression? A feeling of loneliness? A feeling of there being no hope and not being able to change what has been done? It is a feeling no one wants but just about everyone has experienced at some level in their life. Some of us have been able to get through it, some of us have not. For a certain percentage of people, it was too much to handle and they cut there life short. For others they are still fighting it. It’s a long battle and some start to feel it’s a war they are losing but they are keeping their head up and thinking positive.
Then there are the strong ones who were able to see the good things in life and pull themselves out of it and move on. They put a smile on their face and said it is staying there no matter what happens. We can all hope we are these lucky ones that can pull themselves out of it. Some things are just too difficult to pull yourself out of for some. Death of someone held close to the heart or the loss of a loved one due to break up or divorce can be things that are just too much to pull yourself out of. Bullying and shame will cause people to do things out of desperation as well.
The key to pulling yourself out is knowing no matter what situation you are in, you have support groups. Some lean towards music, others lean towards their friends. Then there are those that have lost all friend or family support and can’t find happiness in music so what do they lean toward? Counseling or psychiatry is always a good choice. Your counselor and/or psychiatrist should know somewhere that can get you help or they personally may know how to help. The key is do not give up; suicide is never the option. No matter what you may think, your death will affect someone. There is always someone, somewhere that cares about you, whether it is a friend, family, or someone you would never have thought of. DEATH IS NEVER AN OPTION TO FIX DEPRESSION.
Remember your life matters and if you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is call your local Suicide Prevention Hotline. There is always someone out there that wants to listen.
There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual brain. As a female I was programmed as a youth to believe that sex wasn’t for us as females to truly enjoy but was only our “duty” in a relationship. Unfortunately, this way of thinking wasted a lot of great moments in my sexual life. By allowing my sexual brain to be creative, I have realized this is not just for the male gender. As women, we can enjoy it just like our male counterparts and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The more you accept that you are allowed to enjoy, you and your partner are going to really enjoy it.
When you live a Positive Life, it is not Black or White. There are many many shades of Grey. You can’t force everyone to see things exactly the same and say you are living a Positive Life. Positivity is varying shades for each of us. Absolutes create Negativity because that is requiring everyone around us to think exactly the same and that is not positive at all. By opening your heart and mind to all the possibilities you encourage yourself to expand your limits and you are able to see things from other angles that you may have missed previously. Don’t be afraid of change and allow yourself to witness the world from the view of those around you. See the Greys of Positivity and open the doors of possibilities.
The life we live as family and friends of those with mental illness is a daily roller-coaster ride. One moment things are calm and seemingly good, the next moment you are on a downward spiral chaos. You learn over the years what the triggers are and how to minimize them at all cost. That is not always possible. The Bipolar Mind for example is constantly evolving. My son was diagnosed at age 6 and we had him on various cocktails of medications to stabilize him but that was never perfect. The problem with the medications is that they are not themselves. Sometimes the cocktail creates a shell of the person you know. I honestly don’t know what the right plan is for this illness but there truly has got to be a balance. I want my creative, highly intelligent son, not the over-medicated zombie he is on medication but I also struggle with watching him ride this roller-coaster of emotions, lies and fantasy. He lives in a world in his head that is not easily explained to those who have never experienced it first hand.
As a parent you want life to be easy for your children and for them to have anything they put their mind to. We tell them that if they want something in life they just have to set goals and shoot for the stars. The problem with a mental illness is that the mind doesn’t know limits and when they can’t achieve what they strive for immediately they get overwhelmed and then spiral. To the outsider they can seem so normal and well adjusted when in actuality they are battling their own thoughts constantly. Living a positive life helps but it is not the complete answer. I sit by and watch and hope that one day a cure for this disorder will be found. The fear of self-medication with drugs and alcohol is a fear I live daily. I have the thought that I will get that terrible phone call one day that something horrible has happened.
Threats of suicide, irrational rages, lies and over-exaggerated thoughts. One minute loving life and the next thinking everything sucks and everyone is out to get them. How do we know what is real and fantasy if they don’t even really know themselves? Do we just walk away and let them fight this battle alone or do we allow them to run our lives with their lies and passive aggressive comments that leave you feeling you aren’t doing something right?
When you love a person with mental illness you have to accept them as they are and guide them to fight daily but not to use their illness as crutch and to never become the victim of it. We all have our battles to fight, it is up to us whether we continue to fight or just give in to the battle and lay down and let it defeat us. I will never stop fighting but I will also never allow this battle to take over my life.
I have a very good friend that was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and given 6-8 months to live. This man had all but given up hope when we met. I can’t explain to you what brought us together as friends. We met on a social networking site and just started chatting one day. Then one day we really had a deep conversation about things that happened to each of us in our pasts and we connected. The next day this man that I had never met offline started opening up more and more to me and we became closer and closer like we had known each other for a lifetime. After a while of connecting this man that I had become actual “friends” with informed me that he had been diagnosed with Liver Cancer and the doctors had given him 6-8 months at best. He was determined he was not going to do Chemo and he had accepted his fate. I was not happy to hear this news and that he was willing to “give up on life” so easily. He didn’t feel that he was giving up, he was ready to move on and be out of pain he told me. I got a little upset with these words and there were times that we both had to agree to disagree.
One day he was at the hospital and they needed to wheel him in for a procedure that he was not wanting to have and he was chatting with me online and they kept telling him that he had to shut the computer off and he told them he would when he was done chatting with his friend online. I kept telling him he had to let them do there job and he said, “They can wait.” I couldn’t help but chuckle and feel a little sorry for these people having to deal with this very stubborn man that knew exactly what he wanted to do. They eventually took the computer and wheeled him to the procedure.
A few hours later I get a message from him and he was not happy because they had implanted a radiation pellet into his liver and he was now going to have to go through the Chemo even though he was clear that he did not want to go through this process. He was very angry and he just kept telling me over and over how mad he was about this. I just tried to calm him and in time we agreed that he would do what he had to do and when he was done with the last treatment he would heal and then he and I would choose a day and we would each go to a Denny’s in our area and we would have breakfast in cyberspace together. This was my promise to this man who in a short amount of time had become a very close friend and looked at me as his daughter. We talked daily through his Chemo treatments and he had even asked that I send him a quick picture every morning. He called them his VixFixes. I felt it was the least I could do for this man that was going through so much and all alone on the other side of the country. I would send happy pictures each morning and the occasional short video of inspiration and encouragement. I never in a million years would have realize how much this would mean to someone.
He went through so much pain, sickness and many visits back to the hospital for major side effects of this horrible disease and procedure to kill it. We made it to the night before the 8th and final treatment and he had gone to the hospital for labs and the doctor didn’t want to even allow him to do the final treatment because he was bleeding internally and his red blood count was very low and they didn’t want to risk the final procedure. My friend demanded that they finish the treatments so that he could go home and start healing. He agreed that after the treatment if they need to admit him they could but he had to finish the treatments. The doctor agreed but wasn’t happy about it.
The next morning I wished him luck and told him I would be looking forward to hearing from him when he was done. I signed off and waited and waited. Many hours past and I got a little worried but something told me things were going to be ok. I sent Positive thoughts out and continued to wait. Then I got the message I had been waiting. He was home and he had been admitted after the procedure to cauterize the bleeds and now he was home to start the healing process. He seemed content with what he had accomplished and with whatever came next. He spent the weekend resting and healing and we chatted more through out the weekend and his spirits seemed to improve daily.
Monday morning came and he had to go back to the lab to see how his blood count was and talk to the doctor. I wished him luck and signed off. Around 1:00pm I received a message that I was thrilled to received. “missy…the doctor told me today I have given him a different outlook on cancer today. He said my bloodcount is almost back to normal already. Every thing he can see in the test he had them run on me today made him believe I would be around for a long time. He said last thursday he would have bet mone on I would be in the hospital on my death bed already. He said I was the strongest most cantankorous man he has ever met. Told me to go home follow the diet he has layed out for me and he would see me when we start retesting in 30 days. We did it missy we fought through the hardest part and come out of itwith flying colors.” I got chills and started cry reading this message. I responded back that I was so proud of him. He just sent, “we did it honey we did it”!! I kept explaining that this was all him and I was just here to support him through this process. This man who had fought for our country and protected our freedom and watched his fellow soldiers die and carry them across enemy lines to bring them back, had yet again overcome a battle that he was not meant to win. I was honored to be a part of this moment.
He asked that I write this post and make sure I titled it “Power of Friendship,” because through a dark time in a man’s life, when he believed he was all alone he was given a reason to fight through a terrible time. He was brought to a stranger who in the end became like family.
He goes back in 30 days to get the results of the next labwork and when that is done he now wants to take a trip across the country on a train and at the end of that trip this new friend has promised she will be there to pick him up from the station for those HUGS (Healing, Understanding, Growing, and Surviving) that they had talked about through those 4 weeks. Oh yes and we still are going to have that breakfast that he fought so hard to make sure he got. If this story doesn’t prove that the power of friendship and positive thinking does help I don’t know what does. You never know how much your words and friendship can mean to someone. Just remember that next time you meet someone and you think you can’t make a difference.