Take a Stand For Yourself

Posted by vixtalks on June 20, 2016
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I’m done living life to make others happy.  This is my life to live.  No one else has to be involved unless they choose to accept my choices and come along with me.  If you aren’t onboard and don’t agree with my choices well guess what…We can agree to disagree and go our separate ways.

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have out-grown relationships or passions.  Our tastes change every seven years so it is very likely that you will grow away from some things and some people in your life.  The healthiest way to handle this is to accept it. Remember that we don’t have to please everyone around us with our decisions.  The only person in our lives we truly have to make happy is ourselves.

Now, I know some are going to say this is the most selfish way to live our lives and I just say, “Ok! And?” From the day we are born to the day we die the one person we have with us always is ourselves and the moment you realize you have to come first, you will start your journey to self-love.  This in no way is to say that we need to be greedy, self-centered, or self-absorbed, but we have to be in touch with who we are as people and what our true likes and dislikes are in order to attract like minded individuals into our lives.

 

The Positivity Jar Story (SnapChat Story 6/17/16)

Posted by vixtalks on June 18, 2016
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Focus On Your Positives (Snippet from SnapChat)

Posted by vixtalks on June 14, 2016
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As Unique As A Fingerprint

Posted by vixtalks on June 13, 2016
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Why is it so difficult for us to accept that each of us are as unique as each of our fingerprints?  We all have our individual gifts that are unique to us and we are each given the unique chemistry for our likes and dislikes that we can not control.  When are we going to learn to accept one another for our differences rather than bash us and hurt one another because of them? Just because I like something and you don’t shouldn’t give you the right to hate me and hurt me because of it.  What gives you the right to say your way is better than mine?  When were you given the power to judge others for how they were born?  Our choices are our own but our chemistry is ours to learn to live with.  Those born a race, physical appearance or sexual preference which is different than yours is how they were made and makes them just as unique as you are.  Why can we not just accept one another and love one another for everything each of us has to offer this world and stop searching for reasons to tear each other apart.  Let’s stop the negativity and start loving one another for our individuality. These random acts of violence need to be stopped.  Let’s start spreading random acts of KINDNESS!!

Beauty Amongst The Thorns

Posted by vixtalks on June 6, 2016
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There are thorns of negativity all around us and we can’t always control them but we need to focus on being the beauty amongst the thorns of life. Just because there is negativity around us doesn’t mean we have to be negative.  Stand out and rise above.  Show others how beautiful the world would be if we focused on the positives and allowed the negative to dry up and wither away. If you don’t feed the negativity it will die away.  Don’t allow your beauty to be over shadowed but the negativity of others.  Be the Beauty Amongst The Thorns in your life!!  

Day Of Rememberance

Posted by vixtalks on May 30, 2016
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Today is Memorial Day in the United States. A special day for us to remember those who have made sacrifices to protect our country and to serve our country in other countries. I want to take this day to say “THANK YOU ALL! I truly appreciate you for all that you do and give for us!” For those who look at this weekend as just a three day weekend that gives you an excuse to go out and party and have an extra day to do it be sure that you are doing it for the right purpose.  If it weren’t for these brave men and women sacrificing themselves you wouldn’t have a lot of the freedoms that you take for granted. So many go in to the service, many do not come out alive and even more come out with memories you and I could never imagine having to live with.  So please take a moment today and go out of your way and thank a vet for all they have given for you. For one day…Don’t be selfish and appreciate what others have given for you. Again Thank You to those still serving and those who have given the supreme sacrifice!!

From A Caterpillar 

Posted by vixtalks on May 23, 2016
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We all start out as caterpillars. We’re not born as the flying butterfly soaring through the sky. The caterpillar sees the world from the ground up. It explores the foundation in order for it to have the experiences of starting at the bottom before it flies high to the top of any mountain. If we want to get the opportunity to earn our wings we must survive life on the ground and then we must take the time to “cocoon” in order to transform to the flying butterfly.  Never discount the importance of these two phases of your life.  Do not be in a rush to become the butterfly or you will not develop completely and many end up with holes in your wings. Take every moment of your life in stages and don’t try to rush through it as each step is important to the final goal.

Recharge the Batteries

Posted by vixtalks on May 16, 2016
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Something I have learned about myself is that after I go through stressful times, I have to make sure I take personal time out and recharge my batteries or I can spin into a depressed state. I think most of us do this but being able to identify this in ourselves and take action is the key. Putting ourselves first and taking care of our own needs has to be priority.  If you let yourself get worn down you are no good to yourself or anyone else.  Make sure you are taking care of you today and recharging those internal batteries as needed.  You are the Only YOU that You have!!  HUGS

 

Uniqueness

Posted by vixtalks on May 9, 2016
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We talk about equality so much today that we may be losing touch with reality.  We are all unique not the same, so we need to accept our unique qualities within each other and stop judging and tearing one another apart for our differences.  Find a true common ground and embrace one another for the amazing gifts we each have to offer this world. When you see someone that has different taste than you why is it our first reaction to think negatively and judge them for the difference rather than to acknowledge it and accept them for their uniqueness? As a society we need to work on embracing our individual differences instead of trying to conform everyone to be the same.  No two people are identical.  Treasure that and learn to appreciate the differences and learn from one another.

Mental Health Awareness

Posted by vixtalks on May 2, 2016
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May is Mental Health Awareness Month and this has a special place in my heart as my regular followers know. I am the mother of children living with mental health challenges and I know first hand what this does to the individual living with the disorder and their family who would love them no matter what. Mental Health Disorders are invisible disabilities that most can’t even imagine how it impacts the thoughts that go through their heads. Often those suffering have no idea that they are even battling in the moment and those around them deal with the consequences. Society has labeled these battling with these disorders and made them out to be monsters or crazy, which then feeds the negative thoughts already tearing the sufferer apart from the inside. They want to just be “normal” and when they are constantly told they can’t be they often get discouraged. Society puts on the pressure and the result becomes rages, manic episodes, suicide, among other destructive results. Why can’t we get these suffering the proper help and stop stigmatizing them?  

Can we take a bit of time this month of awareness and find out how we can all do our part to help and share awareness.  Educate yourself a bit this month and try to understand what these battling are going through instead of hiding them and being ashamed if you have family members.  The biggest thing these people need to be surrounded with are positive thoughts and lots of support.  Show them that people do care about them and that there are people willing to listen.

Stop Your Complaining

Posted by vixtalks on April 25, 2016
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Stop ComplainingDon’t complain about something if you aren’t going to do everything you can to make it better.  If you continuously complain about the same things and don’t take the steps to try anything available to correct the problem then it’s not the problem that is the problem, it’s you!!  Stop saying you don’t like something about yourself or your surroundings unless you have tried everything to make them different.  It is easy to just complain about things we don’t like but it take real strength to take a stand and decide we are going to make a change and search out all possible ways to fix the problem.  Don’t give up until you have really tried everything you possibly can to change the problem on your own and then start asking for help.  Nothing is impossible if you truly search for the answers.  Never give up on what you truly want or need in your life!

The Perpetrator Hurts All

Posted by vixtalks on April 18, 2016
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Perpetrators don’t only make victims of those they violate. When another person hurts someone the carnage that is left effects the victim and anyone the victim comes in contact with for the rest of their lives.  The victim will build walls that will keep others at a distance in order to protect themselves.  They do this unconsciously but it does impact all future relationships until they are able to acknowledge it.  Even after they acknowledge it they have to learn to accept their present state and teach themselves to see when they are throwing the obstacles in their path of potential happiness.  With all this negativity bottled up they will create problems even when problems don’t exist.  All this is due to their FEAR of being hurt again.  Do you see now that the Perpetrators take more than just the victim they actually violate?  This is something that needs to be taken very seriously by all parties involved and needs to be addressed immediately after the crime is committed.  Society has to stop blaming the victims so that they aren’t afraid of talking out and getting themselves the immediate help!

The Beautiful Project

Posted by vixtalks on April 11, 2016
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There is a great project I have seen on YouTube by a few different people that has inspired me.  This project is The Beautiful Project and it shows how telling others they are beautiful changes them instantly. There is something beautiful in us all but we often can’t see it until someone else points it out. Be that inspiration to someone everyday. Step outside of you comfort zone and appreciate the beauty in a stranger. Go up to someone you don’t know and compliment them on one thing and tell them how beautiful they are. Imagine how amazing this world would be if we all started focusing on the beauty around us and less of the ugly. We all have beauty to share and when it is acknowledged by others it gives us the permission we need to shine. Give those around you the permission they seek to be the amazing beauty they may be hiding or not seeing for themselves…YET!!

 

Procrastination = A Dirty Word

Posted by vixtalks on April 4, 2016
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Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today? Are you procrastinating from accepting your present and achieving your future? Are you afraid to finally let go of your past? Procrastination is a disease that takes hold if not controlled! Stop saying, “I promise to stop procrastinating tomorrow.” Do it today and make your future as amazing as you truly deserve. Make Procrastination a dirty word in your vocabulary and wash it away!

Give n Take

Posted by vixtalks on March 28, 2016
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We often get upset with others for taking advantage of us but when you step back and truly assess…You will find that in actuality we have ourselves to blame! If you only continue to give without the self-respect of knowing your worth and not allowing yourself to be used and abused, then how will you be taken advantage of! Be sure you are demanding what you expect in return but never expect more than you are willing to give!

Surviving Our Past

Posted by vixtalks on March 21, 2016
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What an amazing thing to be able to say is “I am a Survivor, Not the Victim,” of a horrible event or in some cases series of events. When we choose to be a survivor and not the victim we empower ourselves to overcome the shame or emotional pain that will prevent us from growing. Being a survivor indicates that regardless of what happen previously you will not be held back from what you believe you were meant to do in your future! Never allow your past to hold you back from your positive future just because at one time you were a victim. Remember that being a victim is meant to be a temporary state. A survivor is forever!

Living in Silence 

Posted by vixtalks on March 14, 2016
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When things happen in our past that hurt us physically or emotionally many often choose to live in silence instead of speaking up! One thing that I have learned first hand, is how that silence does more harm than good! By keeping silent and feeling shame, you remain the victim instead of becoming the survivor. Be strong and acknowledge these pains and allow the past to heal you instead of holding you back. Love yourself enough to tell your inner child or past you at whatever again that it is ok to let go of this pain and that you refuse to be the victim and instead choose to accept who you are and look to achieve the amazing future of your choosing.

Blocked Memories

Posted by vixtalks on March 7, 2016
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The mind is an incredible organ! It can block things that you go through until you choose to be ready to handle them properly! Don’t ever be ashamed of this process. Embrace this gift but don’t allow your past to hold you back from the potential future you have ahead of you! Those memories may return in time in pieces in order for you to be able to process them in the way you can handle them. I have learned this lesson myself recently! While accomplishing goals I set for myself I have also unlocked obstacles that were thrown in my path in my past. I can now process these past mistakes in the mindset of accomplishment and I know that in order to get where I am today I had to go through everything, good and bad, that I have been through.  Accept that we are who and where we are in our lives because we needed to see things as we did to appreciate the future we have ahead of us!

F.E.A.R. 

Posted by vixtalks on February 29, 2016
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False Emotions Appearing Real…Anxiety starts with fear. It is an overwhelming emotion that some aren’t able to totally understand. The first big step to overcoming anxiety is addressing your fears and acknowledging the fact that they are exactly as the acronym defines…False Emotions Appearing Real!

We are not born with fear. FEAR grows as we get older and have experiences.

How My Past Has Made Me Stronger

Posted by vixtalks on February 22, 2016
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While analyzing my past for the lessons I have learned, I have been empowered by all the things I have overcome and survived. I consciously chose to be a survivor of so much adversity. To others they saw a strong women with drive and motivation even when I doubted that about myself. “Fake it until you make it!” This is important in our lives at times. The key to this is to actually work to “Make It” not just sit back and wait for it! I have learned so much from those around me and from the mistakes that I have made along the way. Please remember that our weakness is the foundation to our strength. When we acknowledge our weaknesses we are able to build on them and grow from them. “How has my Past made me Stronger?” The answer to that is…My Past is my foundation to my future!!!

Narcissism

Posted by vixtalks on February 15, 2016
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Do you know people around you with these traits on a regular basis? We all do and when working to live a positive life if can test us everyday and we may actually question ourselves at times. Just know this is their personalities to manage not yours. Be sure to identify these people in your lives and don’t allow them to define you. These people tend to make us feel we are the negative ones and the ones with the problem, hence the projection so they don’t have to face their own faults. Once you recognize this you will be able to stop enabling them and finding positivity within yourself.

Great Sex is all about Exploration

Posted by vixtalks on January 25, 2016
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The greatest thing about sex should be the exploration of one another’s likes and dislikes, fantasies and fears, passions and forbiddens. When you first get into a relationship you need to not allow past sexual experiences to dictate what you like and don’t like. What you didn’t like with one person may absolutely be the best thing you have ever experienced, with another partner. Don’t ever close your mind to the exploration. When you start discussing sex don’t ever ask “So what is your favorite position!” If you have never been with each other, how can either of you know what will and won’t work for you as partners. Enjoy the exploration and open your mind to the possibilities of expanding that exploration to things you may never have wanted to try before. You just never know what the two of you may uncover together.

STOP Blaming Others…It’s Your Story

Posted by vixtalks on January 18, 2016
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Take a close look at your life and think about how many times you have actually said, “Well if this one thing wouldn’t have happened in my life I would be far better off now.” Or have you said, “I can’t do something special because my parents didn’t give me the right genetics, financial support, or just any support at all.” We all can take the easy route and blame everyone else for our shortcomings, but you know what? That’s a BS excuse. STOP blaming others and take control of your story. Ultimately, YOU are the creator of your own story, others only supply material. YOU choose how that material will be applied to the story you tell. Do Not allow anyone or anything hold you back from doing that which will give you the best story you can imagine. Again, I say, “STOP Blaming Others…It’s YOUR Story…Tell it!!!!

Knowing Your Worth

Posted by vixtalks on December 28, 2015
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The best things you can do for yourself is to know your worth and not accept less than that. We all have high value and to allow others to treat us like we don’t deserve the best is wrong. Take the time to acknowledge your worth before someone comes along and treats you like an item broke and left on the Clearance Rack at the Discount Store. You are the only one that truly knows you and when you take pride in all you have to offer, you will present yourself accordingly. Then your value goes through the roof. Think Supply and Demand: Confidence and Self- Esteem are attractive qualities and actually rare to truly find. People will give anything to be with someone that knows who they are and what they are worth and will strive to do whatever it takes to become the person worthy of such a person. If they’re not willing to do that, then they aren’t worth your time, in my not so humble opinion. Know your worth and you will attract others who deserve all you have to offer.

Our Weaknesses Can Empower Us

Posted by vixtalks on December 14, 2015
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Our weaknesses when embraced can empower us. If you allow your weaknesses too much power they can debilitate you. However, if you own them and embrace them you can learn from them and find out how to empower you instead. We tend to allow our inner critic to tell us that we are weak in certain areas so we don’t even try to overcome them. Embrace your weaknesses, analyze them and find out what you can do to strengthen yourself to potentially overcome them. Never allow it to cause you debilitating anxiety that prevents you from becoming what you are meant to be.

Blank Canvas

Posted by vixtalks on November 30, 2015
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Once you have Acknowledged Your Past, Accepted Your Future, and are now ready to Achieve Your Future it’s like you have a blank canvas to start the next phase clean. It doesn’t mean you have to forget your past, just that you have let it go and are ready to live in the present. You have a clean canvas to start painting the picture to your future and make it your own.

Thanksgiving 2015

Posted by vixtalks on November 23, 2015
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Happy Early Thanksgiving Everyone! I am very thankful to have been given the opportunity to give my guidance and advice every week through this blog and that you all come back to check in. I truly hope you all enjoy the posts as much as I enjoy writing and producing them. Every post comes from my heart and is intended to help at least one person in some way. I look forward to continuing the expansion of this project and continuing to help people. Enjoy your day of giving thanks and remember you don’t need to wait for this day every year to look around you and see how you can make small impacts in your life and those around you. Every day is a day of giving thanks for being alive and for having another day to work to become the best person you can be. THANK YOU for the support these last 2 years and I hope I mean as much to each of you as you do to me. HUGS

Watch “VixTalks Changing Color of Fall Vlog” on YouTube

Posted by vixtalks on November 19, 2015
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I apologize for the abrupt end and the sun in my face. The weed trimmer turned on in the background but the content is here.  This one just needed to be done outdoors. Please submit your comments and feedback down below or on my AskVix Page.  I look forward to hearing from you, good and bad. HUGS

Changing Colors of Fall

Posted by vixtalks on November 16, 2015
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Fall is a great time of year. Seeing nature change right before your eyes. The trees go from beautiful greens to amazing shades of red, orange and yellow. While admiring the beauty this year I got thinking. It is like we get the opportunity to watch nature shed the past and prepare for the new of Spring. What an amazing feeling to see that it is natural to go through continuous change and by accepting this we learn that we have a new opportunity continuously to improve on ourself, learn lessons from the past, and grow from it. Keep Growing!

“Online” Brad Paisley

Posted by vixtalks on November 9, 2015
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Ever heard this song on the radio? Brad Paisley talks about being “So much cooler Online!” Describing people that have a real life that they escapes in cyberspace. Describing themselves as the total opposite of who they are in reality. One of the lyrics is “I work down at the pizza pit, and I drive an old Hyundai. I still live with my mom and dad. I’m 5’3 and overweight. I’m a Sci-Fi fanatic, mild asthmatic, never been to second base.” He then goes on to say, “But there’s a whole nother me that you need to see. Go check out MySpace ’cause online I’m out in Hollywood, I’m 6’5 and I look damn good. I drive a Maserati. I’m a black belt in Karate and I love a good glass of wine.” Sadly this song is very true for a lot of people, on both sides of the keyboard. I understand the need for an escape from reality at time but unfortunately it is often at another’s expense when someone goes online to actually meet someone to hopefully build a relationship with. Even though the description is just superficial it is still the image the person is putting in the person’s head and they then start imaging themselves with that image. How do you then meet that person in reality and they are completely opposite of the image. How can this not be something something someone would get upset about? They have been mislead and lied to. Again it is all superficial but the person knew they were mispresenting themselves to be something much different because they weren’t happy with the person they are. Even if the person may like them as they are, they are now stuck with the fact that this person wasn’t confident enough to just be themselves and love who they are.

World of Social Media

Posted by vixtalks on November 2, 2015
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In this diverse world of social media we live in it is easy to offend someone and you not even realize it. We all have to understand that each of us has our own ways of doing things and processing things. The key is to try to think before you react. I don’t think we should filter what we think as much as make sure that we acknowledge how we understand our thoughts may not be the same as someone else but we also have to not be overly sensitive to what we read at times. If you don’t agree with someone’s opinion or view it is your choice to voice your own but do not think that just because you do the other person has to change their mind. In the end we may need to just agree to disagree and respect that we don’t have to agree on everything. Diversity is what makes the world exciting.

Out with the Old…In with the New

Posted by vixtalks on October 26, 2015
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We often hold on to things that we need to throw out. “Out with the Old and In with the New,” I say. If you have items in your life that hold negative energy, you need to let them go. Holding on to the Old Negativity leaves less room for all the New Positivity waiting for you in the future. Let them go and open up to Positivity.

The Telephone Game of Today

Posted by vixtalks on October 12, 2015
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It amazes me how the Internet has taken the old “telephone” game of childhood to an entirely new level. How the story changes so quickly in the various streams of media. You can get so many views of any topic if you search hard enough. The actual facts of the story can be distorted once people start sharing their version of the occurrence or what they believe they heard from someone else. We have so many ways to share news today but I am not truly convinced it is for the better. Be careful how you use and spread information you have not actually witnessed yourself. That old game of telephone as a child should have taught us that the only person that truly knows what happened is the person it happened to. Instead of sharing bad information it is usually best to go directly to the source and confirm what you do not know is fact.

Diamond Inside Coal

Posted by vixtalks on October 5, 2015
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Don’t depend on others to determine your positivity. If you need guidance you need to look within yourself or do the work to find it elsewhere. In a world where it is easier to find flaws and pain if you rely on others you will all too often get sucked unwillingly into the mix. The only way to live a truly positive life is to find the positives amongst the negatives. Remember that it can all too often be much worse than you can ever imagine and usually much worse than you have it now. Open your eyes to life and search deep for the diamond inside that dark coal. Positivity is your Diamond being created under the pressure of the Negativity of Coal.

The Sexual Brain

Posted by vixtalks on September 28, 2015
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There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual brain. As a female I was programmed as a youth to believe that sex wasn’t for us as females to truly enjoy but was only our “duty” in a relationship. Unfortunately, this way of thinking wasted a lot of great moments in my sexual life. By allowing my sexual brain to be creative, I have realized this is not just for the male gender. As women, we can enjoy it just like our male counterparts and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The more you accept that you are allowed to enjoy, you and your partner are going to really enjoy it.

My Dear Friend…

Posted by vixtalks on September 23, 2015
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With this being Suicide Awareness Month, I want to share this post about my friend Chris who took his life and left a hole in many people’s hearts who cared for him. Suicidal Thoughts aren’t what kills a person, it is the action. Be sure those around you know how much you care about them and what losing them would do to you. Let’s not continue losing good people without fighting for them.

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Half Moon Bay

On November 23, 2012, I started chatting with a gentleman that at the time of us starting to chat I had no idea how much our friendship was going to impact my life.  The man was a kindred spirit to me we could chat for hours just about nothing.  We talked about our love and wish to travel.  We would talk about going on road trips with the top down on the car to the Coast and just sitting and watching the waves. We joked about going to Mexico but neither of us even had our Passport.  About a month after we started chatting he asked me if I would be interested in watching TV together but from our own homes.  At first I thought this request was an interesting one but I said hey why not but maybe we should meet for coffee first and discuss face to face…

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Glass Houses

Posted by vixtalks on September 21, 2015
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You’ve heard the phrase, “Those in Glass Houses should not throw stones,” right? Well how often do you see this metaphor manifest into reality? All too often people fail to accept that they aren’t perfect and should by no means be judging how others live their lives. We should all focus on our own surroundings and choices before we decide it is our place to cast the perverbial stone inside their own glass house. We all have made our own fair share of mistakes and life so when we decide to start passing judgment on those that are finding their own way.