Do you listen when your inner voice is putting out red flags when you are in any type of relationship? All too often we ignore these red flags for fear of being alone or being thought of as too picky! We all know that no one person is perfect so there will never be a person you have everything in common with or they don’t have at least one trait that you grit your teeth or bite your tongue! This is normal but when there are many things and you find yourself making excuses or you find yourself getting upset with that person for something that is just part of who they are…instead of trying to change that person or continuing to allow the resentment grow maybe before it goes on too long, you need to walk away and set each other free! This may sound harsh but this world is full of bad marriages and angry people because people can’t identify and be honest from the beginning and then feelings get hurt the longer it goes on! Be strong and only accept the best for yourself and walk away from what you know isn’t!
Guidance
All posts tagged Guidance
Never feel you are so far off course you can’t get back. You are not a train that has derailed and can’t be set back on track. You have the ability to upright and get back on the tracks or even onto another set of tracks with a more suitable destination. Never believe you are so far off course you can’t get back. Then again, maybe you are off course for a purpose and you are supposed to change tracks. Always remember to consider than if you keep falling off the same tracks.
Sometimes we care too much and open our hearts just to get them broken! This can either stop us in our tracks or it can give us the ability to expand our hearts, mend them and then have more space to take on much more! Take every opportunity to grow as a positive regardless of how it happened! You truly can never care too much, just be prepared that it may hurt at times but growing pains hurt! Embrace them!
Do you know what your true purpose is? Do you feel there is just something more to your life that you are missing? We all have a purpose and often we lose site of that due to events out of our controls or choices we didn’t realize the ramifications of in the moment!
We all need to, at some point in our lives, and sometimes this take a few times, to dig deep inside ourself to truly learn what it is we are meant to be/do! Take a moment right now and think about what your soul has been wanting but you just keep ignoring!
Do you ever get to points in your life where you feel all you have done until that point was only to prepare you for your future? Some of the people that were in your life were only there to strengthen you and show you what you didn’t want to be. We all have to learn to open our eyes and see those around us for who they are meant to be in our lives. Never feel that just because you are family or have been friends since you were children or your kids are friends with their kids that you “have” to keep those people in your life. If someone is toxic or only brings negative energy you have the right to remove them from your life with or without cause or explanation. Maybe these people surround themselves with others that are toxic and they choose to be around those people. If you feel that they bring that energy into your world via transference, you are perfectly in your right to walk away. We all have one life to live and we may regret some choices we make in a moment but we have to take risks at times to ensure a positive future. Without risk there is no reward. Be comfortable deleting the negative energy from your life in order for you to truly release yourself and make room for the amazing life you were meant to live.
Do you allow your past experiences to limit you future ones? Think about it. How often do you base your future choices off of past experiences? We all do it to varying degrees. There are definite moments that you need to not do this. Relationships are one of them. Now of course you know that if you don’t like certain traits in a person that is going to be taken into consideration, of course. How often do you ask someone, “What do you like to do?” “What are your favorite foods?” “What type of man/woman do you like?” Hell I will go as far as to say we hear, “What is your favorite sexual position?” from some people when getting to know them. Let me give you all a little advice. Pulling from the past to make your future better is fine but living from it only limits your possibilities. Whenever I am asked these types of questions I usually respond with, “I don’t know since I haven’t gotten to know you yet.” The moment you tell someone what you are looking for based on your past they will try and become that ideal and then stop being themself. This is why the first 3-6 of meeting someone new is wasted in some cases because people aren’t being themselves they are trying to become what that other person is looking for and then when they get comfortable and just be themselves they are told “You have changed” and things get tough. Stop limiting your possibilities based on what you’ve known. Learn to enjoy the adventure of what you haven’t known.
There comes that time in our lives that we have to spread our wings and become the person we were meant to be. This often results in the loss of people we thought would be there forever. When we grow we don’t all grow together we have to accept that your needs and goals may not be the same as those from your past. During this growth process we learn new things about ourselves and see things in a different light. Unfortunately, some may not agree with your choices and you may not agree with theirs. This is okay, it just means you are both growing and like the branches of the tree of life we go in different directions and often we don’t meet up again the same as we once had.
What an amazingly strong word for five letters. Trust is a word that all too often is so difficult to define but so utterly important in all types of relationships. To me the word trust has five components to it: Truth, Respect, Understanding, Strength, and Teamwork. Without this in our relationships we feel insecurity and weakness and this can breakdown any type of relationship over time. Building trust takes time and can be knocked over in a matter of a few moments if the foundation isn’t solid. Take pride in who you are and be sure that if you are requiring TRUST you give it in return. We are all equal and deserve to be treated as such especially in our relationships.
Every night that you see an amazing sunset is a positive sign that you got through your day no matter how much negativity was forced upon you. Then you get to start your day with an amazing sunrise to remind you that it is a brand new day full of new choices and opportunities. Make each moment count!
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Sometimes we just feel broken and that is normal. We aren’t always perfect. We can’t be superheroes all the time every day, every minute. We often have to step back and mend our cracks before we are completely disabled. I am broken but not unmendable. I am undestructible but not unbreakable.
This is for all my single readers primarily. Do you often hear the phrase, “Age is just a number” when meeting new people in the dating arena? I think about these 6 words quite often as I don’t agree that is is just a number. Now do I believe it is a make or break in a potential partner? Absolutely not! There is someone for everyone and every situation in our lives for sure. However, if you are very accomplished and have your share of experience you may look for a partner with similar experience. Well often, not always, with every day of age comes a day of experience right? So if you try to say that age is just a number then you are discounting the importance of the experiences that are acquire with every day you are alive! Myself, I appreciate every experience I am given and consider them a badge of honor that I either enjoyed them or even survived them. Never discount what you have learned with every day you are alive and continue to go out there and push yourself further and further to achieve so much more!!
We live in a world of negativity because the negatives seem to be easier and much more entertaining. When we watch the news or the television in general we will never be short of drama and suspense. We seem to accept it in everything we see and do, so it is just the easiest between negative or positive. It takes a lot of work to be positive in today’s society and often people just stop trying instead of working for it. Take a moment and be sure we are pointing out a positive to at least every two negatives and preferably to every one.
Independence is a scary thing for some and all about freedom for others. We all translate independence in our own way. Not only about our political views. Some see it as they want to make their own rules, others as they just want to live how they chose to live, and even those that just want to not depend on others. However, this word impacts you is unique to you and that is why it is so important to embrace it. Fight for what it is that you want but in the process respect those around you . They are as unique as you are and deserve the right to have their independence, their own way. Be sure you are opening your mind enough to the needs of others in the process of taking charge of your own life. Our Own Indepence is unique to each of us and should be embraced and cherished. LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE INDEPENDENTLY!
Even in a healthy loving relationship there can be moments of weakness. The important thing is open communication between one another. When I say “open communication” I mean, OPEN!! Each of you have to feel safe talking to one another about any thoughts you many have. Often in relationships one partner or the other considers cheating because over time their likes and needs change and they worry if they tell their partner they won’t accept it. Insecurities are a strong emotion and it can hurt a relationship without either partner knowing the other is dealing with it. If we truly love and accept one another we should be open to each others fantasies as well. Make sure your partner knows that you love them and you won’t judge them. I recommend that you open the communication that allows each other to feel they can voice your individual fantasies as though you were cheating with your partner. Talk openly with them as if they were a stranger at times and you are telling them things they never knew. Strangely at times it is the excitement that is needed in someone. If you role play and act as though you are dating for the very first time and that you have to keep it quiet or your partner (who is actually this person of course) will find out. Often people cheat only because they want to feel that excitement of a new relationship or to have someone to just listen to them and give them undivided attention so the feel heard. You may not agree with this thought process but from my experience with married people online, the two common things I hear is that they aren’t connected sexually with their partner (male and female) and that they just can’t communicate and tell them the fantasies they have for fear of them not understanding. As I said, Cheat with your Partner and allow them to tell you their inner fantasies no matter how intense. If you two can’t discuss these things and come to a common agreement how can you have passion and true connection. Get out there and Cheat With Your Partner and Be each other’s fantasies!
I’m done living life to make others happy. This is my life to live. No one else has to be involved unless they choose to accept my choices and come along with me. If you aren’t onboard and don’t agree with my choices well guess what…We can agree to disagree and go our separate ways.
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have out-grown relationships or passions. Our tastes change every seven years so it is very likely that you will grow away from some things and some people in your life. The healthiest way to handle this is to accept it. Remember that we don’t have to please everyone around us with our decisions. The only person in our lives we truly have to make happy is ourselves.
Now, I know some are going to say this is the most selfish way to live our lives and I just say, “Ok! And?” From the day we are born to the day we die the one person we have with us always is ourselves and the moment you realize you have to come first, you will start your journey to self-love. This in no way is to say that we need to be greedy, self-centered, or self-absorbed, but we have to be in touch with who we are as people and what our true likes and dislikes are in order to attract like minded individuals into our lives.
Why is it so difficult for us to accept that each of us are as unique as each of our fingerprints? We all have our individual gifts that are unique to us and we are each given the unique chemistry for our likes and dislikes that we can not control. When are we going to learn to accept one another for our differences rather than bash us and hurt one another because of them? Just because I like something and you don’t shouldn’t give you the right to hate me and hurt me because of it. What gives you the right to say your way is better than mine? When were you given the power to judge others for how they were born? Our choices are our own but our chemistry is ours to learn to live with. Those born a race, physical appearance or sexual preference which is different than yours is how they were made and makes them just as unique as you are. Why can we not just accept one another and love one another for everything each of us has to offer this world and stop searching for reasons to tear each other apart. Let’s stop the negativity and start loving one another for our individuality. These random acts of violence need to be stopped. Let’s start spreading random acts of KINDNESS!!
There are thorns of negativity all around us and we can’t always control them but we need to focus on being the beauty amongst the thorns of life. Just because there is negativity around us doesn’t mean we have to be negative. Stand out and rise above. Show others how beautiful the world would be if we focused on the positives and allowed the negative to dry up and wither away. If you don’t feed the negativity it will die away. Don’t allow your beauty to be over shadowed but the negativity of others. Be the Beauty Amongst The Thorns in your life!!
Today is Memorial Day in the United States. A special day for us to remember those who have made sacrifices to protect our country and to serve our country in other countries. I want to take this day to say “THANK YOU ALL! I truly appreciate you for all that you do and give for us!” For those who look at this weekend as just a three day weekend that gives you an excuse to go out and party and have an extra day to do it be sure that you are doing it for the right purpose. If it weren’t for these brave men and women sacrificing themselves you wouldn’t have a lot of the freedoms that you take for granted. So many go in to the service, many do not come out alive and even more come out with memories you and I could never imagine having to live with. So please take a moment today and go out of your way and thank a vet for all they have given for you. For one day…Don’t be selfish and appreciate what others have given for you. Again Thank You to those still serving and those who have given the supreme sacrifice!!
We all start out as caterpillars. We’re not born as the flying butterfly soaring through the sky. The caterpillar sees the world from the ground up. It explores the foundation in order for it to have the experiences of starting at the bottom before it flies high to the top of any mountain. If we want to get the opportunity to earn our wings we must survive life on the ground and then we must take the time to “cocoon” in order to transform to the flying butterfly. Never discount the importance of these two phases of your life. Do not be in a rush to become the butterfly or you will not develop completely and many end up with holes in your wings. Take every moment of your life in stages and don’t try to rush through it as each step is important to the final goal.
Something I have learned about myself is that after I go through stressful times, I have to make sure I take personal time out and recharge my batteries or I can spin into a depressed state. I think most of us do this but being able to identify this in ourselves and take action is the key. Putting ourselves first and taking care of our own needs has to be priority. If you let yourself get worn down you are no good to yourself or anyone else. Make sure you are taking care of you today and recharging those internal batteries as needed. You are the Only YOU that You have!! HUGS
We talk about equality so much today that we may be losing touch with reality. We are all unique not the same, so we need to accept our unique qualities within each other and stop judging and tearing one another apart for our differences. Find a true common ground and embrace one another for the amazing gifts we each have to offer this world. When you see someone that has different taste than you why is it our first reaction to think negatively and judge them for the difference rather than to acknowledge it and accept them for their uniqueness? As a society we need to work on embracing our individual differences instead of trying to conform everyone to be the same. No two people are identical. Treasure that and learn to appreciate the differences and learn from one another.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and this has a special place in my heart as my regular followers know. I am the mother of children living with mental health challenges and I know first hand what this does to the individual living with the disorder and their family who would love them no matter what. Mental Health Disorders are invisible disabilities that most can’t even imagine how it impacts the thoughts that go through their heads. Often those suffering have no idea that they are even battling in the moment and those around them deal with the consequences. Society has labeled these battling with these disorders and made them out to be monsters or crazy, which then feeds the negative thoughts already tearing the sufferer apart from the inside. They want to just be “normal” and when they are constantly told they can’t be they often get discouraged. Society puts on the pressure and the result becomes rages, manic episodes, suicide, among other destructive results. Why can’t we get these suffering the proper help and stop stigmatizing them?
Can we take a bit of time this month of awareness and find out how we can all do our part to help and share awareness. Educate yourself a bit this month and try to understand what these battling are going through instead of hiding them and being ashamed if you have family members. The biggest thing these people need to be surrounded with are positive thoughts and lots of support. Show them that people do care about them and that there are people willing to listen.
Don’t complain about something if you aren’t going to do everything you can to make it better. If you continuously complain about the same things and don’t take the steps to try anything available to correct the problem then it’s not the problem that is the problem, it’s you!! Stop saying you don’t like something about yourself or your surroundings unless you have tried everything to make them different. It is easy to just complain about things we don’t like but it take real strength to take a stand and decide we are going to make a change and search out all possible ways to fix the problem. Don’t give up until you have really tried everything you possibly can to change the problem on your own and then start asking for help. Nothing is impossible if you truly search for the answers. Never give up on what you truly want or need in your life!
Perpetrators don’t only make victims of those they violate. When another person hurts someone the carnage that is left effects the victim and anyone the victim comes in contact with for the rest of their lives. The victim will build walls that will keep others at a distance in order to protect themselves. They do this unconsciously but it does impact all future relationships until they are able to acknowledge it. Even after they acknowledge it they have to learn to accept their present state and teach themselves to see when they are throwing the obstacles in their path of potential happiness. With all this negativity bottled up they will create problems even when problems don’t exist. All this is due to their FEAR of being hurt again. Do you see now that the Perpetrators take more than just the victim they actually violate? This is something that needs to be taken very seriously by all parties involved and needs to be addressed immediately after the crime is committed. Society has to stop blaming the victims so that they aren’t afraid of talking out and getting themselves the immediate help!
There is a great project I have seen on YouTube by a few different people that has inspired me. This project is The Beautiful Project and it shows how telling others they are beautiful changes them instantly. There is something beautiful in us all but we often can’t see it until someone else points it out. Be that inspiration to someone everyday. Step outside of you comfort zone and appreciate the beauty in a stranger. Go up to someone you don’t know and compliment them on one thing and tell them how beautiful they are. Imagine how amazing this world would be if we all started focusing on the beauty around us and less of the ugly. We all have beauty to share and when it is acknowledged by others it gives us the permission we need to shine. Give those around you the permission they seek to be the amazing beauty they may be hiding or not seeing for themselves…YET!!
Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today? Are you procrastinating from accepting your present and achieving your future? Are you afraid to finally let go of your past? Procrastination is a disease that takes hold if not controlled! Stop saying, “I promise to stop procrastinating tomorrow.” Do it today and make your future as amazing as you truly deserve. Make Procrastination a dirty word in your vocabulary and wash it away!
We often get upset with others for taking advantage of us but when you step back and truly assess…You will find that in actuality we have ourselves to blame! If you only continue to give without the self-respect of knowing your worth and not allowing yourself to be used and abused, then how will you be taken advantage of! Be sure you are demanding what you expect in return but never expect more than you are willing to give!
What an amazing thing to be able to say is “I am a Survivor, Not the Victim,” of a horrible event or in some cases series of events. When we choose to be a survivor and not the victim we empower ourselves to overcome the shame or emotional pain that will prevent us from growing. Being a survivor indicates that regardless of what happen previously you will not be held back from what you believe you were meant to do in your future! Never allow your past to hold you back from your positive future just because at one time you were a victim. Remember that being a victim is meant to be a temporary state. A survivor is forever!
When things happen in our past that hurt us physically or emotionally many often choose to live in silence instead of speaking up! One thing that I have learned first hand, is how that silence does more harm than good! By keeping silent and feeling shame, you remain the victim instead of becoming the survivor. Be strong and acknowledge these pains and allow the past to heal you instead of holding you back. Love yourself enough to tell your inner child or past you at whatever again that it is ok to let go of this pain and that you refuse to be the victim and instead choose to accept who you are and look to achieve the amazing future of your choosing.
The mind is an incredible organ! It can block things that you go through until you choose to be ready to handle them properly! Don’t ever be ashamed of this process. Embrace this gift but don’t allow your past to hold you back from the potential future you have ahead of you! Those memories may return in time in pieces in order for you to be able to process them in the way you can handle them. I have learned this lesson myself recently! While accomplishing goals I set for myself I have also unlocked obstacles that were thrown in my path in my past. I can now process these past mistakes in the mindset of accomplishment and I know that in order to get where I am today I had to go through everything, good and bad, that I have been through. Accept that we are who and where we are in our lives because we needed to see things as we did to appreciate the future we have ahead of us!
False Emotions Appearing Real…Anxiety starts with fear. It is an overwhelming emotion that some aren’t able to totally understand. The first big step to overcoming anxiety is addressing your fears and acknowledging the fact that they are exactly as the acronym defines…False Emotions Appearing Real!
We are not born with fear. FEAR grows as we get older and have experiences.
Do you know people around you with these traits on a regular basis? We all do and when working to live a positive life if can test us everyday and we may actually question ourselves at times. Just know this is their personalities to manage not yours. Be sure to identify these people in your lives and don’t allow them to define you. These people tend to make us feel we are the negative ones and the ones with the problem, hence the projection so they don’t have to face their own faults. Once you recognize this you will be able to stop enabling them and finding positivity within yourself.
People come in and out of our lives and some even return then may leave again. It is life and you need to acknowledge what they were brought to teach you. It doesn’t matter if it was a short time or many years, just appreciate what was received in the time you were given.
Our lives are our own to choose how we live them. If you need to tear others down in order to feel you have succeeded, maybe you need to rethink your choices. Build yourself up without using others as human step stools.
People tend to get lethargic in relationships and then start complaining because their partner isn’t doing things for them. If you want respect in a partnership of any kind you have to give respect first. “Do unto others” remember?
The best things you can do for yourself is to know your worth and not accept less than that. We all have high value and to allow others to treat us like we don’t deserve the best is wrong. Take the time to acknowledge your worth before someone comes along and treats you like an item broke and left on the Clearance Rack at the Discount Store. You are the only one that truly knows you and when you take pride in all you have to offer, you will present yourself accordingly. Then your value goes through the roof. Think Supply and Demand: Confidence and Self- Esteem are attractive qualities and actually rare to truly find. People will give anything to be with someone that knows who they are and what they are worth and will strive to do whatever it takes to become the person worthy of such a person. If they’re not willing to do that, then they aren’t worth your time, in my not so humble opinion. Know your worth and you will attract others who deserve all you have to offer.
HUGS are very important in everyone’s health and growth. Share them whenever you can:
Health
Understanding
Growth
Strength
Think of HUGS as therapy. Even when you don’t know it you can help someone who is battling something you have no knowledge of. HUGS are free and worth more than anyone can possess.
Once you have Acknowledged Your Past, Accepted Your Future, and are now ready to Achieve Your Future it’s like you have a blank canvas to start the next phase clean. It doesn’t mean you have to forget your past, just that you have let it go and are ready to live in the present. You have a clean canvas to start painting the picture to your future and make it your own.
I apologize for the abrupt end and the sun in my face. The weed trimmer turned on in the background but the content is here. This one just needed to be done outdoors. Please submit your comments and feedback down below or on my AskVix Page. I look forward to hearing from you, good and bad. HUGS
Fall is a great time of year. Seeing nature change right before your eyes. The trees go from beautiful greens to amazing shades of red, orange and yellow. While admiring the beauty this year I got thinking. It is like we get the opportunity to watch nature shed the past and prepare for the new of Spring. What an amazing feeling to see that it is natural to go through continuous change and by accepting this we learn that we have a new opportunity continuously to improve on ourself, learn lessons from the past, and grow from it. Keep Growing!
We often hold on to things that we need to throw out. “Out with the Old and In with the New,” I say. If you have items in your life that hold negative energy, you need to let them go. Holding on to the Old Negativity leaves less room for all the New Positivity waiting for you in the future. Let them go and open up to Positivity.
Yesterday is behind you and Tomorrow is ahead, Today is the only day You can control. Are you going to Live it looking behind you or taking charge and moving towards a great Tomorrow?
You’ve heard the phrase, “Those in Glass Houses should not throw stones,” right? Well how often do you see this metaphor manifest into reality? All too often people fail to accept that they aren’t perfect and should by no means be judging how others live their lives. We should all focus on our own surroundings and choices before we decide it is our place to cast the perverbial stone inside their own glass house. We all have made our own fair share of mistakes and life so when we decide to start passing judgment on those that are finding their own way.
When we are going through changes in our lives it is important we find the places we find Our Inner Peace and go to it often to center ourselves. If we find ourselves overwhelmed we have to allow ourselves the much needed time to recharge our batteries and enjoy that place where we are most comfortable. Don’t let anyone tell you where that place is. Explore and find it for yourself.
We have two chances at a Parent/Child Relationship first as the child and then if we are lucky enough, as the parent. I am not sure either is easy. Two individuals with their own independent views can’t always see eye to eye. As a child, we often look up to our parents, believing they are perfect until that image is shattered by some event. We don’t understand until much later when we mature that we are all imperfect and we just have to accept our imperfections and learn to build up our strengths and surround ourselves with those with strengths that we have as weaknesses.
Once we grow up and become parents of our own we have another opportunity to have that Parent/Child Relationship. It is up to us to take those lessons we learned and try to teach our children from them, knowing that they may not really get it until they are parents themselves but be comfortable enough that we know we are guiding them properly. We can’t be selfish and emotional when it comes to teaching. It has to come from a grounded place and we have to not judge our children for their imperfections but not enable them either.
Guide our youth so they can become the adults we will be proud of later. Acknowledge that they may not do everything as you would but you should accept their paths and try to guide them when you are given the opportunity without judging. You never know if their way can teach them something that will take them even further than you ever imagined. In the end we have to be their role models and realize that is the only thing in our control.
We need to Learn from our Past, but not Live by It. Reflect on what you’ve been through and learn from the events good and bad. When you dwell on the past and continue to relive it over and over you continue to repeat the cycle unintentionally. It becomes habit and you have to break those bad habits to achieve your intended future. Remember how we are taught new things it is often by repetition, so if you are repeatedly making the same unhealthy choices you are going to teach yourself that is how things are to be. Break the cycle and acknowledge those bad habits and break them now. Learn from It, Now Live Life in the Positive.
We should never forget where we came from, even when we grow and move on. Our past is part of our foundation. As long as you are sure to grow from it and not allow it to hold you back from your ultimate future.
We all have a past. Some good times, some bad times, some times we may wish had never happened. It is only when you choose to focus on the negatives that you can’t see each part for what it is. Be sure you remember mistakes you made so that you are able to relate to others whom aren’t perfect either. Your experiences can be empowering for you as well as others who may go through similar obstacles.
The worse thing any of us can do is forget we are all human and we make mistakes. I’m not perfect and try to see everyone as equals. If you make a mistake and you honestly want to learn from it and grow, I will be there to to help you up. I will give you positive encouragement as fertilizer to stimulate your growth but those who forget their mistakes tend to judge others without remembering where they all came from.
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